Today’s Clover: The Glacial Accelerator

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Here’s today’s Clover – the Glacial Accelerator. This Clover doesn’t just proceed cautiously. He (or she) never proceeds.

This one creeped forward from a stop sign onto a secondary highway posted 55 MPH. The Clover never got going faster than 45, slowing for the curves.

And they ask me why I drink….

. . .

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  1. I once beat a Mercedes diesel for a block on my 10 speed and we were all mighty entertained. I had just gotten out of my big rig. In the 70s bikes were common on big rigs.

    Once into upper gears big rigs (some) have great acceleration. 600 Hp and 2,000 ft lbs of torque can get into triple digits in a hurry.

  2. I’ve found it takes them almost to the next traffic light to get up to a 45mph speed limit. And because they took so long to accelerate well… it’s red when we get there.

    I’ve mentioned this before, shared video of it on the old clovercam website. A left followed by a right. Accelerate briskly on the left arrow to 5mph -under- the speed limit at minimum and that will keep the right arrow green. I’ve seen a UPS driver pull this off in the classic brown UPS truck so it’s not something difficult. 99% of motorists cannot accomplish it. They crawl at 20mph and then the first one in line will run the red for the second turn.

  3. The only thing worse than an aggressive driver, is the passive-aggressive one. The aggressive driver, at least presumably, has somewhere he/she wishes to be, and does not care to dilly-dally or be a hindrance to others. The passive-aggressive driver, on the other hand, has nowhere to go, all day to get there, and resents anyone else who may actually need to be somewhere other than creeping along behind road-trolls. It’s still aggression, mind you, not defensive driving, nor being “courteous and safe”, as they will screech at you as you pass them. It’s also a desperate cry for help as they attempt to exercise what they believe is their “right to control” other people’s behavior. The highway department has only sought to further constrict traffic flow, especially in sparsely populated rural areas, by re-striping existing passing zones with solid double lines. The need to “criminalize” non-criminal activity, chiefly for the sake of revenue, is steadily rising; and clovers wet their panties at every opportunity to make matters worse!

    • You got me thinking about which is worse. I can’t decide. Usually I am dealing with the pass-aggressive in front of me and the aggressive driver then appears behind me. The aggressive driver is making bad matters worse. Because now I have to compete for gaps. I have to now be concerned about the braking distance of some asshole a yard off my rear bumper.

  4. I swear some of them are so bad they get blown off by a semi. You seriously wonder if they’re driving a kit car with a Yugo for a base.

    • Hi Dave,

      The thing that doesn’t compute for me isn’t the slow driving as much as the obnoxious attitude. Why not just pull off onto the shoulder to allow traffic moving at the speed limit to get by?

      These Clovers are even worse than the ones who won’t yield while screeching that they are “doing the speed limit.” Ok, fine. But when you are driving 10-15 MPH below the speed limit? What sort of person doesn’t grok that by operating at that speed and not pulling off/yielding you are using your car to intentionally cock block other motorists?

      I submit that the quality/pathology which defines a Clover is not slow/timid driving but deliberately inconsiderate driving.

      • Oh hell, knowing the world is against you is dealing with one of these in rush hour traffic….
        In a big rig.

        Nothing more dangerous exist is one of these that’s heavy on the aggressive. They’ll simply stay side by side with a truck because they’re highly offended the truck might pass and get beyond their control.

        A great many people only turn into this sort of ahole when it is a truck passing or trying to pass.

        This bs is even replete on the interstate and a 2 lane is where they can really shine.

        Dropping back and waiting for the right time, preferably going downhill and then nailing it when you can see what’s coming and pulling out when u they don’t expect determines how crazy they really are. Some will go as fast as you do….up to a point but rarely will they stay with you at 80 or above but know they’ll string you out as dangerously as they dare.

        I’ve dealt with thousands, and some days it seems like a thousand just that day.

        Since traffic behind you can’t see around you I’ve fantasized many times of a missile to take them out. And believe me, at the end of the day when the traffic is solid you’d get nothing but support if you did eliminate them so Everybody could get in.

        Make no mistake they cause a lot of wrecks and close calls.

        You can do the same with a speed limited truck like Swift if you won’t simply pull off and let the conga line go by.

        I used to occasionally have to drive a truck limited to 65, 3 mph than Swift and many other carriers.

        I’d look for a place going up a long hill you’d pull down on and get completely off the road as fast as possible into some place that would accommodate that move.

        Time to stretch your legs, bump tires and check the load. You don’t feel like you’re ever going to get to your destination anyway at 65 so let as many go by as possible and at least the conga line.

        Never believe these a holes don’t know what they’re doing.

    • Semi? I’ve beaten them on a bicycle. Then again that was at a time where if I was lined up against a big truck I would have a moment’s peace because people wouldn’t be so damn aggressive towards me because relative to the truck I was doing quite well.

      • I once beat a Mercedes diesel for a block on my 10 speed and we were all mighty entertained. I had just gotten out of my big rig. In the 70s bikes were common on big rigs.

        Once into upper gears big rigs (some) have great acceleration. 600 Hp and 2,000 ft lbs of torque can get into triple digits in a hurry.


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