The V8-6-4 Returns?

You have probably heard about the problems – to put it gently – some people have been having with GM vehicles (the Cadillac Escalade, especially) that are equipped with the 6.2 liter V8 engine. The problems include total engine failure within weeks or months of leaving the dealer’s lot. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is now “investigating” this again – in the wake of a previous recall (25V-274) involving the 6.2 liter V8.

That recall arose as a result of “manufacturing defects with the crankshaft and connecting rods that could lead to a catastrophic engine failure.” That did lead is more accurate. This writer knows of at least one instance – involving a brand-new Escalade that needed a new engine within weeks of leaving the dealership. There are about 7,000 others, according to NHTSA. 

It brings back memories of the infamous V8-6-4 that Cadillac brought ought in 1981 as the standard powerplant in most models (except the Seville, which offered it as an option).

The V8-6-4 was an early attempt at what is marketed today as cylinder deactivation or variable displacement “technology” – which just means shutting down some of a V8’s cylinders to try to increase fuel economy. Instead, it increased warranty claims. The V8-6-4 engine ran rough (especially when four of the V8’s cylinders were deactivated), with owners complaining about “vibrations” and “shuddering.” Since it was a single throttle body design (i.e., just one carburetor-like TBI injector fed gas to a common intake manifold) fuel flowed to all the V8’s cylinders, including the ones “deactivated.” This led to rich-running, eye-watering exhaust and problems with the catalytic converter. The kicker? The V8-6-4’s mileage advantage was essentially nothing – about 2-3 MPG overall. Unsurprisingly, the V8-6-4 was a one-year-only wonder. But compared with this 6.2 V8, it was a fine example of automotive excellence.

The V8-6-4 just ran poorly. But it did run. The 6.2 V8 stops running – which tends to happen when there’s a catastrophic mechanical failure with the reciprocating assembly. That’s what happened to the engine in the Escalade owned by a person known to me – who ended up having to wrestle with GM for months before GM finally agreed to take the Turducken back.

Initially, GM wanted the customer who bought the Turducken to accept a replacement engine. This sounds reasonable until you realize that a vehicle with a replaced engine is something like a badly wrecked vehicle that was welded back together; i.e., it is damaged goods. The record will be there and it will crater the thing’s resale value. Also, replacing a defective engine with a similarly defective engine isn’t exactly confidence inspiring. Even if the replacement engine isn’t defective, the not-so-mere act of replacing an engine in any newish vehicle is fraught with myriad potential future failure points because of all the things that have to be corrected reconnected, such as wiring harnesses and so on. Powertrain assemblies are pretty much just dropped in as a vehicle comes down the assembly line (in some cases, the body is dropped on the powertrain). Once everything is together, taking it apart – and putting it back together correctly is high-order electro-mechanical surgery; if you remember the old Star Trek episode, Spock’s Brain – you will have some idea.

Besides which, how angry – and depressed – would you feel after spending six figures on a brand-new top-of-the-line Cadillac to hear the engine go clunk and feel it roll to a dead stop by the side of the road like a Yugo GV someone forgot to fill with oil?

GM had – has – something of a problem on its hands. One it has probably made worse by not doing what it ought to have done in the first place, because it would have been the right thing to do as well as the smart thing to do (in order to preserve its reputation). That thing would have been to just buy back every Turducken it sold for what people paid and maybe something more for their trouble. Plus a huge apology. Instead, GM offered to “inspect” the suspected engines and recommended that owners use a thicker (higher viscosity) oil.

Oy vey.

First, how do you “inspect” an engine’s lower end – its crank and main bearings, etc. – without at least partially disassembling the engine? The answer bees you don’t – because you can’t. It’s like “inspecting” a tranny to ascertain whether “she” is in fact a he with its pants on. At the very least, you’ll need to to do a Crocodile Dundee.

The thicker motor oil thing is just hilarious. Back in the day, there was a product called Motor Honey that you could buy at parts stores such as Pep Boys. Motor Honey was a thickening agent you poured into the engine. Its purpose was to temporarily cover up the symptoms of a tired and failing engine, such as blue smoke coming out of the tailpipe, indicating loose/worn rings and other serious problems and to quiet noisy lifters and clacking valves. Thicker oil does basically the same thing; i.e.. it serves to mask the underlying problem.

This is what Cadillac suggested that people who bought six figure Escalades ought to do. And why did Cadillac do it? The same reason it did it before – for the sake of compliance. People who buy Cadillacs by definition are people who can afford to spend more on gas. But the government insists everyone must use less gas (excepting the government itself, of course) and so it imposes “fuel efficiency” (as well as “emissions”) requirements that are very tough for an eight cylinder engine to comply with. The “solution” The V8-6-4 and other iterations of cylinder deactivation and variable displacement “technology” as well as super-thin oil int he crankcase. With all the consequences that come along for the (short) ride.

It makes you want to reach for the bottle, doesn’t it? No doubt many of the people who bought one of these six figure Turduckens have already done just that.

. . .

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