Eyes on You!

The first cow that gets to the end of the chute gets to see first what’s awaiting the cows in line behind him. I’m something like that first cow – as far as far as what’s coming down the line, new car-wise, because as a car journalists I get to drive the latest stuff coming down the line before most people do.

Here’s an example of what’s coming. What’s already here – in many new cars, in anticipation of what all new cars will have to have (per federal requirement) in about three months from now. It is the eye-movement monitor, which is how vehicle manufacturers are complying with the so-called “drowsy/distracted driver” abatement requirement that becomes just that (required) beginning with the 2027 model year.

To begin with, it isn’t really about “drowsy” drivers. It is about drivers distracted by their devices – including the ones now built into the dashboards of pretty much every new car. It’s fascinating, isn’t it, that we’re told tapping and swiping at a smartphone display while driving is distracting but – somehow – it is not distracting to tap and swipe at the smartphone-emulating LCD screen built into the dashboard of pretty much every new vehicle. The really fascinating thing is that – unlike the smartphones people carry around everywhere they’re not forced to tap and swipe, the tap and swipe interfaces built into pretty much all new vehicles effectively require tapping and swiping (while driving) in order to make use of the various functions (such as the GPS navigation) that can only be used via tapping and swiping.

Of what use are these functions if they cannot be used while driving? Put another way, it isn’t reasonable to expect people to pull over and stop the vehicle to use such functions. They are going to tap and swipe while driving – and the thing about tapping and swiping is you pretty much have to at least glance at the screen while you’re tapping and swiping because the surface of the interface is exactly like the surface of a smartphone’s display in that it has nothing you can feel in order to identify what it is you’re trying to tap or swipe without looking at it.

You see the problem.

One of the solutions that the car companies came up with is to disable the various functions that require tapping and swiping the screen built into the car’s dashboard while the vehicle is moving. This of course increases the distraction via aggravation. Now you’re frustrated about not being able to tap/swipe an address into the GPS or make use of some other function (in some new vehicles, this includes changing the channel of the station you’re trying to listen to on the radio) and either having to do without or pull over and stop to make use of the function, which can be a big hassle if you’re in a high traffic, busy area and it’s not easy to just pull over and stop for a minute.

So, you have the problem of distracted – and irritated – drivers not paying as much attention to the road as they ought to. They sometimes wander across the double yellow line into the opposing lane. Enter what they call Lane Keep Assist “technology” – which is nothing more than electrically power-assisted steering that uses electric motors to try to steer the wandering car back into its travel lane.

The “drowsy/distracted driver” abatement requirement is the next putative effort to fix the problem created by distracting (and aggravating) technology. In other words, the driver gets punished for using the technology foisted on him – even if he isn’t actually distracted (or drowsy).

I have mucho experience with the eye-movement monitors, having driven at least a dozen different makes/models that already have this “technology,” which consists of infrared cameras you can’t see but which can see you – assuming you haven’t covered them up with a piece of black electrical or blue painter’s tape. (If you do that, the system will protest; in the near future, I am certain it will do more than just protest.) I have had these systems pester me with electronic prompts to sit up straight and keep my eyes on the road when they are very much on the road. I do look left/right – and scan my rearview – which is how I avoid what they call “accidents,” which are nine times out of ten caused by driver error. I have not had an “accident” in decades. Maybe I do not need to be told to sit up straight and keep my eyes forward like a blinkered horse. Maybe you don’t need to be told to sit up straight and emulate a blinkered horse.

I think the real reason for these eye-movement monitors is simply to let the driver know who’s really in charge – and it isn’t them. Were you in charge, back in grade school, when the teacher told you to sit up straight and stop looking at the kid next to you or behind you? That is what these eye-movement monitors do. Soon, they will probably do more than just pester you with electronic prompts to sit up straight and keep your eyes forward. (Which is a blinkered way to drive, by the way; glancing to the left and right and in the rearview to see what’s behind and around you is how you maintain awareness of the driving environment. Staring straight head is a sure way to induce boredom, which tends to make one drowsy).

What will they do? Well, what is implied by the use of the term, “drowsy/distracted driver”? Well, obviously, such a driver is an unsafe driver. If that is defined as a driver who doesn’t stare straight ahead like a blinkered horse – who doesn’t “sit up straight,” so the eye-movement monitor can watch him – then interventions more severe than electronic pestering are necessary. To save lives, of course. That is what will be said when these systems are used to pull the car over and shut it down.

For Our Safety, of course.

. . .

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