They’ve Let the Cat Out of the Bag

Not that you’ll be shocked to hear this, but here it is:

They – our Safety Overlords – now admit they intend to use Speed Limit Assistance “technology” to prevent us from driving faster than whatever the speed limit is, using in-car GPS, 5G and other such features that have been sold to the sheep as conveniences.

This “assistance” is being made acceptable one step at a time, something like getting to first base on a date; i.e., that’s the the way you get to second and then third. With, of course, one important difference – that of consent. This “assistance” stuff is coercive and it’s also hugely manipulative. Why can’t these freaks ever be honest about their intentions? Well, we all know why. If they did that, it’d be harder to get to third base.

Hence “assistance.”

It sounds so helpful, doesn’t it? Much better than control. Boy Scouts assist old ladies across the street. We assist those in need.

The “assistance” we’re talking about is nothing of the sort. In the first place because we don’t need it and in the second, because most of us not only didn’t ask for it – we actively do not want it. There is something outrageously insulting about “assisting” people who don’t need it. About pushing such “assistance” on everyone. Imagine someone pushing a walker or cane on you – even though you’ve got no problem walking un-assisted. An earthier and more-to-the-point (as regards the insulting part) would be someone pushing Depends on you when you’re not someone who has trouble controlling their “emissions.” Imagine going shopping and the store’s help steering you toward the Depends aisle. Better yet, the help putting a box of Depends in your cart at the checkout.

You’d probably feel the urge to bash them in the teeth.

This is the kind of “assistance” we’re talking about. It is abuse of language to call it that. It is of a piece with the abuse of language embodied in the related term, “seat belt reminder.”  No, it isn’t. A reminder would chime once or twice – you know, to remind you to buckle up, in case you forgot to. The “reminder” that is installed in all new vehicles does not stop pestering you to “buckle up” until you do (or until you buckle the got-damned thing and sit on it). In other words, it is a low-grade harassment for not “buckling up.” It has as much to do with “reminding” as “assistance” has to do with assisting.

Well, first base is to get the cars “assisting” people with their speed by pestering them with chimes and scolding little icons that glow red in the gauge cluster whenever a driver exceeds whatever the speed limit is. As if the driver were unaware of his “speeding.” In Europe, the “assistance” is already at second base. Instead of just the pestering chime and scolding little icon, the throttle is electronically made to push back against the driver’s foot; for now, the driver can push through (more pressure on the pedal) and the car will continue to go at whatever speed the driver wants. That’s about to change. Not conjecture. Third base is on deck.

The scolding little icons, the chimes – and even the throttle push back that you have to push through – they were “always just an interim stage,” in the words of a source within the regulatory apparat of the European Union, where “assistance” of the first and second base kind is already required. “Let’s tell the driver, let’s warn him, let’s beep [when exceeding the speed limit]. But eventually we will just fix the speed of the car so you can’t go over the speed limit.”

If you’re thinking: Well, this is Europe. It won’t be like that here in America – think again. It will be like Daytime Running Lamps. There was a time when – in America – people didn’t drive around in daytime with their headlights on. Not unless they were driving in a funeral procession. Now most Americans do – because most cars sold in America come standard with DRLs. Why? Because DRLS were mandated by the Canadian government and lots of American-brand cars are made and sold in Canada. It was easier to just make all the cars sold in Canada and America DRL equipped cars. European-brand cars (VWs, Audis, BMWs, Mercedes-Benz, Fiat, etc.) will not be made “with” and “without” either. In fact, they already aren’t – and the same goes for most Japanese-brand cars, too. And American-brand cars as well. Most already have some iteration of speed limit “assistance.” Only the first base chime pestering and icon scolding, but the technology for second and third base has merely to be activated.

Not added.

A spokesman for the UK’s Department for Transport said – officially – “We currently have no plans to introduce control technology in the UK, but we will continue to work with partners across Europe and internationally to improve the safety standards of all vehicles.”

Italics added.

And the guy who got to first base on prom night currently has no plans to get to second, either.

There is of course a way to avoid all of this “assisting.” It is to not buy any of it. As a car journalist – as a guy who loves cars – it is very strange to find myself urging people not to buy them. New ones, that is. However, it is the only message we can send that the car companies will listen to. Tell them – tell the dealership you’ve been doing business with for all these years – that you are not interested in being “assisted” and will not accept being made to buy it and that until “assistance” becomes optional, you’ll be sticking with what you’ve got or buying something used and older that doesn’t try to “assist” you.

For the same reason that you don’t need a cane or a walker just yet – and don’t like either being pushed on you by people who can’t see you can walk just fine, thanks.

. . .

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