Ding Dong the Dick is Dead!

It is generally considered bad form to celebrate the death of anyone, but this is a stupid and insincere piety. Was anyone sad the day Stalin died? So why should anyone be sad that Lindsey Graham has died?

He wasn’t quite Stalin, of course. He was worse. With Stalin you got what you expected. He was openly a thug (to put it mildly). Graham,  on the other hand, was a member of that species of “conservative” who pretended to be an admirer of what “conservatives” like to call small government. A grotesque hilarity. Something like Bruce Jenner in high heels and a dress as a “woman.” It makes you laugh and want to puke at the same time.

Graham was especially puke-worthy. He was a smarmy little man who never shied away from a war that others would be sent to fight. Having no kids of his own, he had no dog in the fight. He did have a lot of money in it, though. He was the faithful tool of the interests that love war because it is profitable. These interests financed Lindsey Graham’s political career and Lindsey got rich and powerful in return for advancing their interests, in a disgusting reach-around that cost ordinary Americans their lives, limbs and billions in tax dollars, too.

Like many pusillanimous people, he was belligerent in safety. He was not the sort of man who would personally pick a fight he’d have to fight. He picked fights that would be fought by others. He was dogshit, in other words – and not even that, since the dog can’t help and needs to shit. Graham didn’t have to be a whore for the “defense” industry and its adjunct, the Israeli lobby. Yet he was, gleefully and vociferously.

He was also something than men generally consider to be particularly despicable. He was both a back-stabber and an ass-kisser. At one time, he excoriated Trump (and Trump, being cut from the same smallpox-laden cloth, excoriated him at one time). When it became expedient, he lauded Trump – just as Trump, when it became expedient, lauded him. Graham was “one of the greatest people and Senators I have ever known,” said Trump in a Truth Social post. “He was always working, and was a true American Patriot. Lindsey will be greatly missed.”

It echoes of the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact, which was of course a deal between Hitler and Stalin to carve up Poland between them. The two men loathed one another while also admiring and back-stabbing one another the moment it became expedient.

Richard Nixon – famously eulogized by Hunter Thompson – was “scum,” in the words of the Doctor. But Nixon had a few admirable qualities.  He wasn’t entirely loathsome. Just mostly. Graham, on the other hand, had all the good qualities of a tick that attaches to your back where you can’t get at the bastard. He sucked his state and the country of more blood and treasure than all the ticks that have ever latched onto every American who ever lived – and the tick is a natural thing that’s only doing what nature designed it to do. Graham was an unnatural homunculus, a thing in human form conjured by evil spirits that arose from the muck to perform evil. A thing without conscience or mercy or shame, lacking any of the decent feelings that make a man human.

Yet he will be accorded a North Korean-style funeral, with pomp and circumstance. As if something sad had happened. As if someone has passed who will be missed. By whom? Graham had no family and his “friends” were all transactional. The truth is he was despised by all though useful to some. Nevertheless, there will be kabuki. A grand send-off for the greatest, most vicious political whore America has produced, a man who Nixon – if he were around – would have been appalled by and that is saying a lot.

Flush twice. It’s a long way to Washington.

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