“For Your Saaaaaaaaaaaafety”

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Why is it that when you buy a new car, it’s not yours?

Your name is on the title – and you make the payments. But even when you’ve paid it off, the car still isn’t really yours – because it’s controlled by someone else. Like, for instance, whomever it was that programmed the saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafety protocol that thwarts you from pairing a phone or iPod while the vehicle is moving.

This is considered . . . unsaaaaaaaaaaafe.

Well, ok – they maybe have a point.

It probably isn’t the smartest idea to fidget with your phone while driving. But then why aren’t all the other fidget-involved apps also disabled for saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafety?

What is the difference, exactly, between fidgeting with a phone or iPod and fidgeting with the various “driver information,” “vehicle” and innumerable other fidget-involved functions that are built into the same touchscreen?

Is it “safer, “somehow, to tap/swipe/pinch/scroll through those apps? You’re allowed to do that while the car is moving?


Isn’t it like saying don’t touch the hot stove with your left hand… but it’s ok to do it with your right hand?

I’m lost.

But I’ve been told I think too much.

. . .

Got a question about cars – or anything else? Click on the “ask Eric” link and send ’em in!

If you like what you’ve found here please consider supporting EPautos. 

We depend on you to keep the wheels turning! 

Our donate button is here.

 If you prefer not to use PayPal, our mailing address is:

721 Hummingbird Lane SE
Copper Hill, VA 24079

PS: Get an EPautos magnet (pictured below) in return for a $20 or more one-time donation or a $10 or more monthly recurring donation. (Please be sure to tell us you want a sticker – and also, provide an address, so we know where to mail the thing!)

My latest eBook is also available for your favorite price – free! Click here.  



  1. Eric,
    At the end of your rant, was that another “Nanny” sign with flashing lights telling you that you were exceeding the 55 MPH “posted speed limit”? Currently I am looking at a customer’s SUV with the new Goodyear tire, named on the sidewall “AUTHORITY ASSURANCE” (ASS-YOU-RANTS). What the bloody hell? This crap is marketed in so many “unseen” ways it’s enough to make me sick.

    • BTW, “AUTHORITY” is on the tire sidewall TWICE, with “Goodyear” and “Assurance” only once. Apparently “authority” is twice as important as your assurance, or the manufacturer of the tire…….coincidence? I’ll let you decide.

  2. I shall enjoy my trip to Salt Lake City in an 86 Olds Calais late in May, unencumbered bay all o dis shi’.

    My personal stink finger to the Feds and the automobile industry geldings who refuse to put a stop to this nonsense and refuse to comply.

    A good old fashioned industry guild with some balls would be nice.

    Look at that cancerous lobby group, the IIHS, funded by the insurance industry by profits from denying claims. The manufacturers should form something similar to lobby against NHTSA, CAFE, IIHS, and every other bloated Federal abcess that’s been allowed to fester, bully and harangue the industry for 50 years now.

    Too late. Too many pod people out there equating saaaaafety with government “concern”.

  3. Eric, I’ve had enough of it too… and that’s why I vote with my wallet on these things. But obviously, car makers are not listening to what the market wants, but only obeying orders from government busybodies. When will one of these companies finally give the fedgov an overt big middle finger once and for all? Makes me want to start my own company just for that reason. All I’m lacking is $$$, business experience, etc…

    • “Makes me want to start my own company just for that reason. All I’m lacking is $$$, business experience, etc…”

      I know it, A. If I had some bologna, I’d make me a bologna sammich, if I had some bread. 😉

  4. I hear you Eric. I hate when they patronize us like that. Just a quick aside, a lot of employers have in their break rooms now a convenience store-like setup. Nothing is behind a vending machine. You grab the items you want from the cooler/shelf and check yourself out. Which is all well and good. In fact, it’s often times too convenient and people end up buying more stuff they shouldn’t. It’s great marketing. I don’t have a problem with it per se (besides the option to checkout via bio tech i.e. thumbprint) and it gives employees more options.

    But the vending company will have a sign posted that says “For your safety we’ve included cameras in this area.” Give me a fucking break. Everyone knows why the cameras are there as they should be. The cameras are there to protect your investment and prevent theft. So just say so. Don’t patronize us by saying they’re there for our safety.

    • Me too. Ticks me right the heck off when a company lies to me about why it’s doing something. I know you’re suspicious of me and have every right to be but how stupid do you really think I am?

  5. You own nothing in this new world of ours. Your home / skool taxes must be paid or your evicted. Your vehicles must be licensed and inspected or they cannot be driven and thus useless. Any money you have can be confiscated by the new legal robber barons. In Oklahoma they could even empty your bank account via your debit card. (Believe that has been temporarily suspended until the ‘legality’ is settled). Any money in your bank belongs to the bank to do with as they see fit. Your children belong to the skools and they dictate requirements. Even your animals have to be licensed in many places. You don’t own any device that uses software. You sign a EULA first then you have to buy a ‘service’. Same with the automobiles. They own the software in the ECU/PCM, BCM and other computers used to control the various systems. To replace a PCM requires not only the PCM itself but it has to be loaded with the OEM software with that VIN usually at a dealer.

    Nope, they pretty much own us,,, lock, stock and barrel.

  6. Meanwhile, this happened in the Rat Colony:


    Because the driver was arrested for vehicular homicide I’m sure we won’t hear anything until the trial begins, which will be long after everyone has forgotten about the incident. But who wants to wager the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road? Or that if there was a problem with the truck the trucking company will just throw him to the wind and say he signed off on the CDL daily inspection?

    Interesting that someone was live-streaming to his YouTube channel at the time and managed to capture the semi flying past. Will the YouTuber be fined for reckless driving?

    • “Authorities are investigating, however, whether the tractor-trailer lost its brakes coming down from the mountains.”

      Don’t know how they could hold him for assault and vehicular homicide if in fact the brakes failed. If they did fail and he is still tried for those charges I don’t see rational truck drivers continuing their career.

      Have to wait and see…..

      • Another cammer recorded the trucker driving recklessly on the last part of an upgrade, just prior to peaking and heading down hill. If that wasn’t enough, the truck brakes were clearly burnt out and was picking up speed as he intentionally bypassed a runaway-truck ramp. In fact, the trucker kept trying to maneuver to the far left, as all available escape routes to the right hand side when whizzing by! It’s in only one of about 2 dozen vids, and I can’t remember which one, now, but keep looking. The parts of the vids that make me sick isn’t so much the crash site, but the Fat-Ass “Public Information” slob that wasn’t even telling half as much as you could see with your own eyes……I hate these lard-ass bureaucrats!

        • Oh, also, the dirtbag driver made a statement afterward that he intentionally plowed into the stopped cars to avoid overturning the truck on the shoulder embankment and injuring himself or the semi. This pantywaste is a spineless coward in addition to being a totally incompetent shithead.

          • This same sort of thing happened up in northern Saskatchewan about a year ago. Foreign truck driver ran a stop sign and bus hit the second trailer and killed 16 or 17.

              • I quit a job over no brakes. Not a new thing since it was that way when I started. Air leaks to the point I’d have to downshift every time I got to 1700 rpm and never touch the brake. When I’d get on site, I’d have to stop and back up and before I could get into 1st gear both buttons would pop and I’d have to keep it on 2100 rpm till the compressor blew off and then try to back up fast enough to not have it again. The last run I made I used only gearing on major highways to stop. I got it back to the yard and refused to run it anymore.

                This is pure bullshit and companies that do it will through you to the wolves when something bad happens. It’s not like I wouldn’t have fixed it, I just couldn’t stop long enough to do so.

                The same owner had a driver roll his truck because the operator on the site lured him up on a spot with most of the dirt dug out from underneath it. He stopped, the entire thing collapsed and then when the driver was hurt, he just turned his back on him. I couldn’t get the guy to sue even though he should. He was months convalescing and then went back to that same guy. Well, I guess he deserves what he gets now.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here