The Gay “Muscle Car”

By
eric
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127
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Not in the homosexual sense. In the South Park Sense. As in, Harley Fags – and if you haven’t seen that episode, you’ve missed out on one of the best. A bunch of fags making brrrrmumahbrummbrumuhaaa sounds everywhere they go – even in the bathroom.

Like the sounds made by Dodge’s replacement for displacement, the battery powered device that they’re calling Charger and a “muscle car,” which is like calling Rachel Levine she.

“The new Charger will be the quickest and most powerful muscle car you can buy.” No. It will be the quickest and most powerful battery powered device masquerading as a muscle car you can buy. Just like Rachel Levine is masquerading as something he isn’t. 

It is neither here nor there how quick – italics for a reason, bear with – this new device is. A Tesla S Plaid is similarly quick but would anyone style that device a “muscle car”? It is a performance device. And so is this device. Both devices being like each other and nothing like the V8 powered muscle cars Dodge used to sell.

But Dodge hopes the look will sell. And also the sounds – which are as faggy as the sounds made by the Harley Fags in the South Park episode. Because they’re not real. Because this device being marketed as a “muscle car” does not have an engine. It has a battery and a pair of electric motors (which brings up another reason why it’s a not a muscle car, the latter being rear-wheel-drive rather than all-wheel-drive and muscle car engines don’t send power to the front wheels or all four).

And motors and a battery pack don’t make engine sounds, which is a defining attribute of a muscle car.

So, instead, it has devices that manufacturer the sounds of the engine that’s lacking. A sickly bravura substitution-homage to what’s no longer there. As if the substitute will be sufficient. How about a cup of Victory Coffee, comrade?

“Hellcat levels of intensity,” says Dodge – with a straight face. Just like your Gameboy, with the audio turned up to full-loud and piped through a set of high-powered speakers.

Also the sensations.

This device shakes and vibrates – just like the hot-shoe video arcade driving games some of us played with back in the ’80s.

None of it real – which is exactly the point.

Dodge is trying hard to give buyers what they never asked for – a device masquerading as a performance car. A device that isn’t even very fast. Dodge touts how quickly the new device – which will be available in both two-door and four-door versions – can get to 60. All devices tout such quickness. But they almost never tout their fastness – probably because they lack it.

And cannot sustain it.

Even the “Scat Pack” iteration of this device – which is a Scat Pack in the same way that a Porsche Taycan “Turbo” has a turbo – tops out a comparatively slow 134 MPH. Contrast this with the last of the V8 muscle cars Dodge made, such as the ’23 Challenger Hellcat Black Ghost I was privileged to test drive (review here) had a top speed of more than 200 MPH. Not because it had more power.

Because it carried less weight.

This new device that looks like a muscle car weighs just shy of three tons (5,838 lbs.) empty. which is about the same as a current 1500 series crew cab truck weighs. All that weight makes it hard to go fast, as the power needed to do so increases geometrically with speed. And, of course, if you drive this device at all fast, you won’t go very far.

Just 260 miles for the “Scat Pack” device.

It’s true the muscle cars Dodge was forced to stop selling didn’t got very far, either. Driven fast, a Hellcat Black Ghost Challenger would run empty in less than 200 miles. But it didn’t matter because its tank could be refilled in less than five minutes, whereas it’ll take at least 33 minutes – according to Dodge – to put about two-thirds of a charge back into this device.

Work that one out. Two-thirds of a charge works out to about 200 miles of charge after a 33 minute wait. This assumes it’s not cold out – in which case your wait will vary as much as your range, neither in the direction you’d like.

But never mind all of that. It’s what devices do. Everyone is aware of this.

Dodge – Dodge! – seems to have forgotten that a device can never be a muscle car – even if it is the quickest and fastest thing on the road. It can only pretend to be – and sound and shake – like the thing it is desperately pretending to be and hoping you’ll pretend it is, too.

Just as Rachel Levine insist we all pretend he’s a she.

There is some light at the far end of this dark tunnel. Next year, apparently, Dodge will offer a version of the Charger with an engine. It will be a very powerful one, too. But it won’t be a V8 – and that means that whatever they want to call it, it won’t be a muscle car, either.

Those are all gone now – though you might still hear one in the distance every now and then.

And remember what the real thing used to sound like.

. . .

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127 COMMENTS

  2. Hi Eric from Australia after many years.

    This Charger – in I6 turbo guise – is actually really exciting and is the best thing I’ve seen released in an increasingly boring car world in a long time. You will recall us Australians lost our car industry in 2017, and with it affordable muscle cars that handled with GM and Ford V8s, and the mad XR6 Turbo Barra I6. American cousins, keep Dodge alive as long as you can, even if you have to crowdfund a rescue from Stellantis!

    You are all raging at the loss of the Hemi V8, but from 2002 to 2016 we experienced the XR6 Turbo and F6 Typhoons that blew the V8s into the weeds. Today American tuners have discovered the things can be boosted to 1000+hp, so strong are their internals…

    See what you can do with the I6 turbo Hurricane motor. At least you still have a choice.

    I loved the styling too, there were some definite 1971 Australian VH Valiant styling cues in the new Charger’s sides, looked great especially in the bright orange colour. A practical 4 door sedan with a bright colour with the hot turbo variant – what I’d give to have a new car choice like that in 2024 here in Oz. Our market is now completely bland and ruled by ladder frame chassis dual cab utes with diesels, and a plague of SUVs.

    Look up the 1971 Australian VH Charger – completely different car to yours, completely different motor with the 265 triple carb Hemi 6-pack – and the E38’s and E49’s racing history here down under at Bathurst… Yes we had Hemis, but they were 6s, believe it or not.

    Betcha we have no chance of getting the new Charger down here. Sigh.

    • Hi Jack,

      No question, the new I6 makes impressive power (and can be made to make more). But it’s not a V8. And without a V8 – a large one – a car is not and can never be a muscle car. It is a performance car, certainly – but that is a different kind of car. V8s make a sound that an I6 can’t make. And – again – not that there is anything wrong with the sounds an I6 makes; some make great sounds. But – again- they’re not V8s. The new Charger I6 would walk away from the ’71 GTX 440 (same as a same-year Charger) owned by a high school friend of mine. But the GTX is a muscle car, without doubt. The new Charger is a performance car.

      Also, AWD is another “muscle car” fail.

      Performance cars can be AWD; indeed, AWD is an asset in purely “quick” and “handles” way (obviously). But (again) that is beside the point as it’s not how quick a car is or how well it handles that defines a muscle car. Muscle cars are big, rumbly things that do burnouts and slip sideways when you punch the gas from a dead stop.

      The cars you had down under were cool! And the new I6 Charger is in its own way, too. But it’s not a muscle car. It’s a performance car trying to look like a muscle car!

      • And in more recent yearsn on the blue oval side, here’s a Barra turbo going 1163hp and glowing red on a dyno, looks pretty stock ay:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eWHNSaSZU

        And here’s a North American expat in Perth, Ross Reviews, going over the very last FGX XR6 Sprint:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muIcDfx1JLU

        Don’t get me wrong, our family have 2 V8 muscle cars, but you can really muscle up a 6 and have a lot of fun, nomenclature aside! We had many years of the debate in the 2000s about V8 vs 6, and the Barra turbo prevailed on its merits after all was said and done. You guys have lost the Hemi V8 but as of writing there’s still quite a few in your Dodge yards (buy them and put them away!) but at least you will still have something to buy that isn’t an EV. I guess I’m saying the glass is still half full in the US, it’s empty here sadly.

        Re: AWD, we also did an AWD Barra turbo in the Australian designed and made Territory SUV, and people have boosted these into quarter mile weapons as well, the AWD destroys lighter cars that don’t have the grip.

        • Hi Jack,

          Yes – and that’s fine – but (again) it’s missing the point. A six is not a V8 and a car with a six – however potent – is not and cannot be a muscle car. It is a performance car. There is a big difference!

          This new Hurricane six-powered Charger will certainly out-perform my old V8 muscle car. But that is not the measure of things. If it were, then a Tesla S Plaid is a muscle car and that’s just silly.

          When I fire up my Trans-Am, the 7.5 liter V8 shakes the whole car. The sounds unique to a big V8 emanate from the twin-splitter dual exhaust, one side for each half of the V8. A six cylinder powered car cannot produce the feels and sound of a V8. There is also the intangible but wonderful knowing you’ve got that big (7.5 liters, in my case) V8 under the hood – as opposed to a 3.0 liter something or other.

          Bigness is necessary here, just as a key attribute of a battleship is that it has at least 11 inch main guns. Anything less and it’s not.

          • Hi Eric, thank you for your replies. I haven’t convinced you – at least you guys still have the Mustang V8 and a Camaro too. If so Dodge will suffer. But you never know, you might get some performance car enthusiasts push the limits with the Hurricane and eventually become accepted, if not in name but in smiles. (I think they can toggle to RWD too from what I saw online.) It remains the first new car anwhere I’ve seen in a while I actually want!

            • Hi Jack,

              Dodge may find buyers who like the looks of the new Charger – and the performance of the six. There’s nothing wrong, per se, with either. I’m just trying to make the point – which I think is inarguable – that this isn’t a muscle car. It’s a performance car – and the distinction matters. A BMW M with an inline six is a brilliant performance car, too. But would you say it’s a muscle car? Of course not! Well, I hope not!

              The other thing is the cost of this thing – which is apt to be well over $40k for the version with the six and over $50k for the device (with the battery and motors). In other words, another expensive toy for the very affluent.

              Muscle cars were once cars that average, middle and working class people could afford – and Dodge (and Plymouth) made some of the most memorable.

              • The Australian ‘Carsales’ website has a few of the final Challenger Hemis for sale over here, converted to RHD – asking prices are between 350K and 550K AUD, that’s with an AUD being worth about 0.65 US.

                Working class fun they are no longer…

                In 2016 we could get the final XR8 Sprint with the ‘Miami supercharged version of the Coyote, and XR6T Sprint, for about 55k AUD.

                • HiJack,

                  Terrible. And terribly sad. As a kid, I watched the original Mad Max. The last of the V8s. Remember? And here we are – and it’s not a movie anymore. I care for my old muscle car as an icon of the past I hope survives this age. Not unlike the Medieval monks preserved the literary works of antiquity.

                  • Heya Eric! That’s inspiring stuff – do you know I took my young fella for L plate driving before his P’s on some of those very roads – including the one with the bridge? Had him rowing through the 5 gears on our manual V8 and he loved it! One of the roads out that way is ‘Anakie Road’ which sounds a lot like ‘Anarchy’ and is really apt when you put yourself into the post apocalyptic mindset. The roads are wide and open for the most, twisting in places and the farmers’ fields are still there… it still looks similar to the movie.

                    It’s funny you mention the monks preserving things, I reckon the situation will be like Cuba if you like muscle cars, just keep them keeping on.

                    • Thanks, Jack!

                      I maintain that these monsters in human form can be beaten; the hardest and most necessary first step toward that end being the coming-to-terms with the realization that there are such people out there. It is a thing that is hard for most psychologically normal people to understand because it is so alien. But it is real, nonetheless.

  3. Scifi writer Cyril Kornbluth predicted these cars in his novelette “The Marching Morons”.

    “The psychist climbed down into the driver’s seat and did something with his feet. The motor started like lighting a blowtorch as big as a silo. Wallowing around in the cushions, Barlow saw through a rear-view mirror a tremendous exhaust filled with brilliant white sparkles.

    “Do you like it?” yelled the psychist.

    “It’s terrific!” Barlow yelled back. “It’s—”

    He was shut up as the car pulled out from the bay into the road with a great voo-ooo-ooom! A gale roared past Barlow’s head, though the windows seemed to be closed; the impression of speed was terrific. He located the speedometer on the dashboard and saw it climb past 90, 100, 150, 200.
    …..
    They seemed to be traveling so slowly, if you ignored the roaring air past your ears and didn’t let the speedy lines of the dream-boats fool you. He would have sworn they were really crawling along at twenty-five with occasional spurts up to thirty.
    ….
    Barlow stiffened as he realized the rush of air past his ears began just a brief, unreal split second before the car was actually moving.”

    The future sucks.

  5. If it were available with an I6 or any I.C.E., it would probably sell well. As an EV, it will not sell well (just another toy for a few rich hipsters). It’s that simple

  7. So I assume all of the road pirates (cops) will be driving these soon? Please, someone invent a handheld EMP device.

  8. MBA/Blackrock Fucktards – DEI Incompetents – Union Parasites.

    Who would even think about buying “American” ? They will probably market this with the Bud Lite MaleChick.

    • Hi Allen,

      Another aspect of this not touched on in the article is the likely price of this device. Note that the affordable V6 version is gone, leaving an “electrified” version of what was the R/T. Add the 30 percent premium for the battery and you are probably looking at a device with a base price in the neighborhood of $50k.

      Who can afford these things – let alone wants one?

  9. Car people like sports/performance cars because of the sound…that is 60% of the experience…the smell, the emotion and the feeling they get from a high performance street or race car…..

    EV’s have none of that…they are dead….

    The EV pushers are starting to realize that…

    So they are installing fake sound…that just made the cars worse….100% fake bs…..they don’t have the smell thing figured out yet…incoming….the emotion….they will never figure that out…never happen…..the feeling….they are trying to use fake shaking now…lol

    they are getting desperate…..car people will never like their dead ass EV’s…..they are a bad joke….

  10. That’s a pretty good-looking device, actually.
    The whole ‘synthetic audio’ thing is excruciatingly fake and gay, beyond embarrassing. Shame on Dodge for cucking.

  12. Just the headline alone, Eric, was awesome! I gave a loud chuckle at work when I saw it. A small white pill might be on the horizon. You have The Rock on WWF television calling people gay and telling every female in attendance they want to sleep with him. Then you had Shane Gillis on SNL calling himself gay for being friends with his mom when he was a kid. In just the not-too-distant past, these things couldn’t have happened, let alone couldn’t have happened on live television.

    • My pleasure, Logan!

      It’s long past time to stop being polite to those on whom such is wasted. These people do not want civility/tolerance. They demand obsequious affirmation. They won’t get it from me.

  13. I don’t hate the design. I can kind of see the 2nd and 3rd generation Charger in there. Just wish it wasn’t pussified. Uh, electrified. Neutered.

      • Imagine what it could be if government had no say! I bet Dodge could manufacture high horsepower muscle cars for Everyman like they did in the past.

        Screw all government parasites!!

  14. I was never going to look at it, but seeing they’re sticking with the breeze engine there and giving it awd rather than a next gen hemi with rwd, I’m also certain they dug their own grave and will slit their own throats upon receiving word they won’t be bailed out

    What a shame, used to be badass company, now they sold out. Who’s gonna take Jeep though if they do go belly up?

      • Oh boy, just what Jeep needs, even more subpar build quality and shoddy worksmanship

        My friend said her YJ was the last real Jeep, soon JL’s and JT’s will be saying the same about their’s

  15. Stellantis – Where car companies go to die.

    Dodge died the second Obama stole Chrysler from it’s owners and gave it to Fiat along with 3 billion in US taxpayer money.

    • Help is on the way for gay muscle car designers:

      ‘The National Institute of Health (NIH) has awarded over $200,000 to researchers to create a “transgender voice training” app that aims, in part, to help trans women sound more feminine.

      ‘Forty trans women will be randomly assigned to either an experimental group that will use the researchers’ software or a control group that will use a generic voice analysis app. They will meet once a week with a speech-language pathologist for remotely administered GAVT (Gender Affirming Voice and Communication Training).’ — Fox News

      https://tinyurl.com/565kyn8e

      First homework assignment: pretend you’re a Dodge Chargette. Now try to raise the pitch of its ‘vroom, vroom’ noises to sound more feminine. Your Adam’s apple should not move.

    • Indeed, Sam –

      I feel bad for Tim Kuniskis, who I know loves and understands cars – and probably despises these devices. But what’s he going to do? At the end of the day, he’s an employee and must do what his employer says – or quit.

      I know what I’d do.

  16. Hope for Dodges sake, that there is room for a real HEMI under the hood. They will have to bring it back if they expect it to sell. Hopefully this will be a short lived mistake, but that is likely a fantasy.

    I am guessing the hurricane engined ones for 2025 will be way more expensive then the outgoing entry level charger V6’s. Those gas engined ones are likely going to inhabit rental fleet lots, because that will likely be the only buyers of them.

    Current owners of Chargers and Challengers will have no interest in an electric one.

    And I agree, the recorded engine sounds are so STUPID.

  17. Timely article Eric:

    Our company has several products launching on the Challenger/Charger BEVs this year.

    Stellantis projects to sell about 50k of these BEVs per year. When the ICE vehicles launch for 26MY, they expect to sell 75K per year of those.

    The SRT BEV also launches in 26MY.

    I expect the ratio of BEVs vs. ICE sales to be more in line with ICE F150s vs F150 Lightning sales ratio. ICE F150s outsell Lightnings by several orders of magnitude.

    Time will tell. We shall see.

    • Thanks for this info.

      ICE F150s outsold F150 Lightnings by one order of magnitude in the most recent quarter — an event I claimed for years would never happen.

      I suspect last quarter was an outlier, though, with the cat out of the bag that EeeVee inventories are piling up. Time for a ‘tragic battery fire’ to clear the decks.

    • Chargers sold 70-100K per yr averages with some outliers.
      They’re on crack if they think 50K EV’s. Maybe 10K first yr. to enthusiasts, then drop like a rock.
      And as Richb said, there will not be a lot in line to get the straight 6TT. It’s performance is admirable, but it won’t sell.
      Now, if they announced a V6 replacement, which I haven’t seen yet, like a good 4T or use the old V6, then those will sell, quite a bit.
      Just my crystal ball.

  18. Back in October 2020 I purchased a 2009 Challenger R/T that had only 13k miles on it and am beyond glad I bought it when I did. Told my wife that Challengers would most likely be illegal within 10 years and very much think I will be correct. What kind of man would ever purchase a fucking electric muscle car? A very very faggy one, that’s who.

      • Fucking amazing, underwater blue with the black R/T stripes alongside the hood and black leather interior. Had one owner before me and I happened to meet him one day when I was out driving, turned out that he’s a mechanic who owns his own shop so he kept my baby in tip top shape. Love driving her and love the sound she makes, definitely wakes up the neighborhood when I start her up in the morning.

  19. “But Dodge hopes the look will sell”

    Hope in one hand, shit in the other…

    Leave it to Stellantis though, to be the last one off the EV hamster wheel.

  20. I’m waiting for the article on the new VW international harvester “Scout” that supposed to be all electric. Same issue as this ‘muscle car’ and they act like the previous buyers will be into it. Sure! I” take a new computer into the wilderness where it cant charge and may be needed for a survival situation.

    • Not only is VW’s Scout EeeVee plant in South Carolina a monumental white elephant … but also, South Carolina taxpayers are being euchred out of $1.3 billion to pay for it.

      “I believe in the free market. Go woke, go broke. But, unfortunately, we’re using taxpayer money to subsidize them coming in here,” said state Rep. R.J. May, a Lexington Republican and vice chairman of the conservative freedom caucus. “We shouldn’t be subsidizing the destruction of South Carolina values.” — The State

      https://tinyurl.com/2p9npm2d

      Gov McMaster, the log-rolling RINO who authored this outrage, should be arrested, deported to Commiefornia, and chained to a sewer drain in a San Francisco gay dungeon, wearing a leopard-print Speedo and nipple clamps.

    • Soon there’ll be massive forest fires where there are never forest fires because some douchebag poser takes his EV into the woods and punctures the battery offroading or it just overheats and explodes

      This EV nightmare can’t end soon enough, it’s Autistic AIDS on steroids

  21. Subaru actually advertised for gay customers specifically for lesbians with their Outback.

    “Although it was easier to get senior management on board with making ads for hikers than for lesbians, the company went ahead with the campaign anyway. It was such an unusual decision—and such a success—that it helped push gay and lesbian advertising from the fringes to the mainstream. People joke about lesbians’ affinity for Subarus, but what’s often forgotten is that Subaru actively decided to cultivate its image as a car for lesbians”

    That’s why the Outback was known as the Lesbian car.

    BTW the Pontiac G-6 was known as the Oprah Winfrey car because she gave away 276 cars to her audience.

    “On September 13, 2004, TV talk-show host Oprah Winfrey gives a brand-new Pontiac G-6 sedan, worth $28,500, to everyone in her studio audience: a total of 276 cars in all.) Oprah had told her producers to fill the crowd with people who “desperately needed” the cars, and when she announced the prize (by jumping up and down, waving a giant key ring and yelling “Everybody gets a car! Everybody gets a car!”), mayhem–crying, screaming, delirium, fainting–broke out all around her”

    “the gift wasn’t really from Oprah at all. Pontiac had donated the cars, paying the hefty price tag out of its advertising budget, because the company hoped that that the giveaway would drum up some enthusiasm for its new G-6 line”

    I never got a free car as I had to pay for all my cars with my labor/toil.

    Cue up “Don’t cry for me Argentina” Ha ha ha

    • Lesbaru! Was/is a big hit in the Seattle area. Gal in our Harley group bought one, I was suspicious but she did show up with a new boyfriend last summer. He’s suspicious since he rides OTH (Other Than Harley).

  23. That’s gotta be one of the most pathetic things I’ve seen in a long time! It isn’t just gay but also childish….reminds me of when I was a kid. I’d be sitting in the back of my mom’s Pinto, holding onto handle of the ice scraper (one of those long ones) and moving it back and forth every time my mom shifted gears. In addition, I’d also make “vroom-vroom” sounds to accompany my “shifting”…
    But pretending and fantasy are second nature to kids. Speaking of pretending, perhaps this new Dodge would do well at a Comic-Con. An EV device pretending to be a muscle car from days of yore….
    But at least with a Comic-Con, people are dressing up as characters that don’t really exist (or only existed in history). ICE engines exist, so there’s no reason to try and pretend here.
    Maybe one day if Dodge starts making real muscle cars again, they can market them (like Coca-Cola) as the “real thing”!

  25. Well, Ford has its self-proclaimed ‘gay’ pickup, one of the others was advertising their ‘gay’ car, and so I guess Dodge had to join all the other fudge packers and do some just as ‘gay’ if not saying so outright. This country has mentally ill ‘leaders’, executives, and bureaucrats, like the aforementioned sicko queer ‘surgeon general’ they appointed, which should be a huge indicator of the mental & social diseases that ail this country presently.
    I don’t give a rat’s ass what people choose to do in private, but parading their psychosis around like some Nobel Prize award is absolutely bat-shit retarded. Same goes for the auto industry pandering to that crap.

  26. Who will be stupid enough to buy one?

    When the Charger is being charged, you are also being charged.

    When it is plugged in at a charging station, there can be a digital sound of gas flowing into a gas tank. The sound of gas flowing from the pump to the car’s tank will last for more than six hours. That’ll really help sales.

    Since it is all gay, maybe rump ranger Yuval could be heard moaning for six hours, an added feature, Harrari getting charged for six hours is probably normal, the new normal.

    With any luck, the Charger EV pictured will be the only copy in existence, or will be after the current supply is in the junkyard.

    By 2012, the Arctic Ocean was supposed to be ice-free according to the holy gospel of Owl Gore, master climatologist, the soothsayer of global warming. Knows it all, always did.

    The Arctic Ocean is still covered with pack ice 12 years later, that’s today.

    The EV push, nothing more than a shotgun wedding with dot gov aiming the white shotgun at you, is failing, demand rules the game.

    Arctic Sea Ice Extent

      • Actually Dodge wishes they had thought of this glorious ‘sound of liquidity’ flowing in … which is actually the sound of your bank account getting drained.

        Surely an over-the-air update can install this ‘soundscape upgrade’ — along with a Doberman snarl when some punk clones your key fob.

        It is to laugh, comrades. We’ve broke on through to the other side, as ol’ Jim Morrison used to incant. But it’s gay as hell …

  27. Nice hood misfair and what’s with the Star Trek logo on the “grill”? For a couple decades automakers finally figured out fit and finish, now it’s back to the ‘70s misfit panels and trim. 2018 Grand Cherokee in my driveway with subtle touches of mis aligned window trim, and that year whoever was hanging the LH front fender was using the A pillar as his fitment tooling, jam it up there and bolt ‘er down. I’ve seen many in this condition. My ‘05 GC was perfect, maybe the Mercedes mgmt folks enforced some assembly discipline back then.

    • LOL, your comment, Mark, reminds me of the quote from Mel Gibson in the movie “Conspiracy Theory”. When he remarked that the new, $100 dollar bills had Franklin looking like “The love child of Fred Mertz and Rosie O’Donnell”, ha ha.

      • There’s a few memes out in the wilds that are associated with old Ben

        “That look your mother has when she still loves you, but is disappointed with some of your choices.”

        “Every time you spend $100 on dumb s*** Franklin be looking at you like…”

        • Ha ha ha! Now that I think about it, ole Ben does have that look. One of my favourite comments was from him: “He was so learned, he could name a horse in nine languages. So ignorant, he bought a cow to ride on”.

  29. Only the EV version will be avail for 24, then the gassers for 25. But all they mention is the new Hurricane strait 6 TT, which is currently avail in SO (420HP) and HO (500HP+). They make no mention, that I can find, about a replacement for the very popular v6 (300HP) engine.
    At least they were smart enough to build the car capable of gas engines, very smart.
    What will remain to be seen is will all of these new variants sell even remotely close to the old versions? My guess is no, they will not, not even close. Unless, they put the old V6 in it or a pretty decent 4T (not the mild hybrid version).

    • “Hurricane strait 6 TT”

      The problem with that is it has very little cool sound….

      The BMW new turbo inline six’s have the same problem….so BMW and others have to pipe enhanced sound into the car to give the driver some cool sound to hear….the cool sound is 60% of the experience in a performance car….

      Bring back na V8’s and V12’s……the coolest sounding engines….

      Supercharged engines were fine too….it didn’t affect the exhaust sound….

      Even high revving na sixes and fours a long time ago, had a cool sound, until government regulations forced all the the cars to be quiet….that is what killed one of the best sounding engines….the air cooled 911’s…..if you want one now….you pay a lot off money….

      Motorsport is being ruined too….no more 19,000 rpm F1 engines…..the greatest sound…..

      Gordon Murray knows this, so his new T50 super car has an na 12,000 rpm V12…with a stick shift only…a pure driver’s car…..

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd6CR8PMsk8

      • Hi anon1, no question sound is VIP.
        Here’s a V6 that sounds great, which surprised me. My wife has this car and it is better in person, and with the push of a button it goes from fire breathing dragon to quiet cruiser. suspension too, race car stiff to cruiser.
        Not sure if these ‘sounds’ are partially artificial or not, but I don’t think so.
        The one thing for sure that happens is we giggle, every time.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nkt0IO85i1I

  30. ‘How about a cup of Victory Coffee, comrade?’ — eric

    How about a cheap fob cloner, comrade? Another gay muscle car technology gets taken down:

    ‘Thefts of Camaros have shot up by more than 1000% in L.A. this year, with 90 vehicles stolen.

    ‘The device is essentially a hand-held computer that enables the user to create a replacement smart key — using a new key fob — that can unlock Camaros and other vehicles, bypassing the vehicle’s existing security system, investigators said. Once the user punches in the make, model and year of the vehicle into the computer, it is then able to reprogram the car’s ignition system and generate a new or universal car key.

    ‘Technology to clone key fobs is commercially available, and with a little bit of tech wizardry even a high school yoot can become a skilled thief of technology-dependent cars. Investigators say that thieves can generate replacement keys in less than three minutes with the right program and hardware.’

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/chevy-camaro-thefts-skyrocket-more-033626959.html

    Old-fashioned keys coulda stopped this crime wave. But no-o-o-o-o … auto makers had to replace tried-and-true physical keys with insecure wireless gimcrackery.

    A class-action suit by aggrieved owners could reap billions, maybe even bankrupt these bozos. Death to the useless-eater auto industry!

    • Unfortunately mechanical = more money and that’s the golden rule these days, just let the cheap chips do the work! Plus modern America loves the gadgetry and here we are.

  31. The fake exhaust and rattling / shaking is literally the gayest thing I have ever heard of.

    If there was a sane person in charge of marketing, they would actually lean -into- the whisper quiet nature of the EV, not agonizingly and comically push against it. There was a time when 600HP that made no noise getting it would have been a selling point, particularly on a luxury vehicle like a Bentley / Rolls / etc.

    This to me is a more sophisticated (and just as lame) version of the teenage kid or beaner that puts the giant fart can exhaust on his 110 HP Honda Civic. If I rolled up to one of these at a stop light and it started “gunning the engine” my reaction would be like Cartman in that clip.

    In other news, Europeans all drive manuals. They don’t have the ‘need for speed’ like ‘Mericans but they all know how to drive 4 and 5 speeds still. Several have commented that automatics feel very weird and unnatural to them, like being disconnected from the road and riding on a train. You can also buy CHEAP used cars here. It is like time is frozen in 1990. You can get running ICE powered used cars and the majority of them are 5 speeds.

    So there is hope for Europa on the car front.

    • Useranon99: “The fake exhaust and rattling / shaking is literally the gayest thing I have ever heard of.”

      To be totally over the top it will need to make a sound like a Chrysler gear reduction starter when you press the start button.

  32. The new Charger does look good. So do a lot of Clay-buck concept car styling exercises. Both have a similar level of utility. I remember when the Gen-5 Camaro came out. I was doing track days back then, and the local hot shoe made the comment “how can you call something that weighs 4000 pounds a sports car?”. 4000 pounds is now “the good ol’ days”.

    My cars were getting really old about 4 years ago, so I replaced them with new ones. I have a Dodge Grand Caravan that has no driver aids and is not a connected car. It’s a 2019, but is circa 2013 in terms of it’s electronics, which is a good thing. I also have a 2019 Camaro, which has too much, but nothing like what you will get now; no driver intervention, but it’s prone to panic if it thinks I’m approaching the car in front too fast. This year I bought a 2023 all-wheel drive Charger for my wife (and yes, I wanted her to get a Hemi, but she really wanted the all-wheel drive), It has no “driver aids” at all. It is more “connected” than I would like. I can’t see us ever buying anything new again. I expect the rise of businesses to keep old cars going, just like how Cuba responded to their commie government. Of course, the government, if left unchecked, will put it’s boot on the neck of that (fuel restrictions and taxes, etc…)

    • Cuba and old cars…

      It is very strange that the communist government there is more open to letting the old cars drive around, Venezuela the same thing….then the milder?….. communist governments in the G7……

  33. Eric, this is why you got fired from the Wall Street Journal, you were supposed to say that this is stunning and brave, and that all of the Maga knuckle draggers are just gonna have to swallow this medicine, and like it! The C&D, Motortrend articles on this will make you want to vomit, these same writers cheering it on will be wondering why it is being cancelled in 5 years due to no sales…

  35. ‘This new device that looks like a muscle car weighs just shy of three tons (5,838 lbs.) empty. which is about the same as a current 1500 series crew cab truck weighs.’ — eric

    BZZZZZTTTT! Disqualified!

    How the eff did this jiggling lard bag ever get into a muscle car swimsuit competition?

    Dodge — Dodge! — evidently has not heard that the EeeVee positivity movement is OVER. We’re not accepting EeeVee trannies, attempting to pass as real cars.

    See the little faggot with the earring and the make up
    Yeah, buddy, that’s his own hair
    That little faggot got his own Dodge Charger
    That little faggot, he’s a millionaire

    — Dire Straits, Money for Nothing

  36. Is it just me, or has it seemed the past few years that there’s been an assault on TRUTH by the globalist/ technocratic elite? They’ve peddled all sorts of bull$@!+ about stuff for years, from climate change to face diapers to COVID, abortion, Trump being the modern day Hitler, COVID vaccines, the demented idea that men can become women, censorship, Net Zero, etc., and people on “The Left” have been buying it. I suppose next they’ll also buy the even more demented/ evil idea peddled by technocrats that humans merging with machines (ala The Borg from Star Trek) is a GOOD thing.

      • Kalifornicate has the market cornered on psychosis. They are also planning to pump CO2 into underground depleted oil wells. I don’t think it possible but if they were to succeed and eliminate CO2 from the atmosphere most life will be dead. From what real scientists can understand, CO2 is at its lowest point ever. Also you can buy HCFC 22 (R22) online. Just like R12 Gov has put a tax on it making it cost a thousand FedBucks. It’s the old Ozone hole crapola now included in the Globull Warming scam.

      • At the rate this country is sinking, Helot, even farting will be considered illegal, because you are emitting “a green house gas”. I mean, some countries want to put bags over cows butts to keep them from cutting wind. Which just goes to show how insane the environmentalists really are.

    • Yes, there is a full blown assault on truth. It is also a siege on reality. They’re going to lose, but it sucks to live through it. We were in deep trouble before the installation of Obama, now the enemy is inside the gates and the fighting is hand to hand and with melee weapons.

    • Speaking of men and machines, John, there is a book titled “The Singularity Is Near”, by Ray Kurzweil. In his book, Kurzweil mentioned merging with machines and thus, “living forever”. He did admit to the bothersome, soul and spirit aspects, and what happens to those in a person when merging with machines. All-in-all, it was one….very interesting read. Who would have thought such a book might have been a preview of the future.

  39. Upside is it’s back to being a coupe. Downside is it’s now a device. Hopefully it doesn’t sell.

    Of course if they painted it Hemi Orange with a Confederate flag on the roof and have Bo and Luke Duke jump it I’d watch that video.

      • Boss Hog had too much class to be seen in a car like this. Rosco I suspect had to settle for the castoffs from the auctions.

        • I’ll give you that you’re prolly right, Boss Hog did come across as a bit classy at times.
          In the re-make though, Rosco is rolling in civil asset forfeiture cash, he’d have a whole fleet of EV Trannies.

          • I only watched the original show and any of the movies they were in. Was the remake worth watching? Lets not forget Catherine Bach’s portrayal of Daisy Duke a class act all the way.

  40. There must be someone sane at Stellantis wondering how quickly they can shelve these “device” variants and start running the ICE versions down the assembly line in Brampton.
    If not, I envision these EVs will pair nicely collecting dust next to the sale-proof Hornets.

    • I think you’re right Flip. Any biz would. I feel sorry for the workers at the Brampton plant.
      One problem is they basically shelved the hemi a little too fast, since the new I6TT production isn’t ramped up enough to even supply the Ram’s.
      It could be ‘lines’ at the engine plant which I believe is in Mexico and they are being very prudent. Not sure.
      Can’t see many wanting the new I6TT in these cars. Even in the truck, they are going to lose some percentage of sales w/no v8, not sure how much. We’ll see.
      Personally I need late model trucks for work, so I will be buying the new I6TT in the Ram, probably next winter.

      • Morning, Chris!

        Here’s a possible old timey analog: Some may remember that, back in the late ’60s, Pontiac offered an OHC “Sprint” six (with a 4 BBL carb) in the Firebird; it was a very sophisticated engine for the era. Pontiac didn’t sell many because people who wanted a performance Firebird wanted a V8. I think that’s the nut of the problem Dodge doesn’t yet appreciate it has. The EV is a certain fail. But the six is not likely to succeed, either – because it’s a six and this car must have a V8 to be what the people who like cars such as this demand.

        Besides: Having already caved to the geeks who are ruining everything, do they really think they can “get away” with making an engine – at all – for long?

  42. “People don’t want EVs.”

    “Did you tell them they don’t have to visit the gas station?”

    “Yes, and they still aren’t interested!”

    “Did you tell them they’ll save the environment?”

    “Yes, and they said that they’re powered by coal!”

    “Did you tell them that they’d be helping fight against big oil?”

    “Yes, and they didn’t seem to care!”

    “Hmmm. Must be a styling problem. Let’s make it look, feel and act like a muscle car.”

    “You mean like a RealDoll™?”

    “Yes, exactly!”

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