Some say – and they have a good argument – that the first serious uglification (and homogenization) of cars’ looks via government regs came with the federal mandate that every new vehicle be fitted with what were styled “5 MPH” bumpers back in the early ’70s.
If you’re not old enough to remember, look up some pics of cars made before 1974, which was when this federal “safety” requirement uglified the appearance of every new car and added a couple hundred pounds of deadweight to the front and rear end. This hurt both performance and fuel efficiency (which also increased emissions, but never mind that).
It got worse from there.
Specifically, in the mid-1980s – when the federal “safety” apparat decided to require every new vehicle mount a third brake light. They called it – in typically bureaucratic pretentious language – a Center High Mounted Stop Light.
CHMSL, for short.
The first ones were obviously tacked-on afterthoughts, which is just what they were as the vehicles onto which they were grafted had not been designed to have them. The effect was similar to the effect that bolting massive steel bumpers onto the front and rear ends of cars not designed for them had on the looks of them. The latter were like braces that ruined a pretty girl’s smile, with the difference being the braces were temporary while the bumper uglification was forever.
If you were around in the mid-late ’80s, you’ll remember the sudden appearance of CHMSLs mounted to the rear glass of the cars of that era. It looked clunky and stupid because it was – as is true of most things emanating from Washington. The argument put forward at the time was that having a third brake light reduced rear-end accidents by making it more likely that the driver following behind a CHMSL-equipped car would notice the brake lights of that car, thus decreasing his reaction time. This (as always when it comes to this stuff) presumes the driver following behind is inattentive or has poor eyesight, which may be true. But why not focus on addressing inattentiveness and drivers who can’t see very well?
Well, for the usual reasons – when it comes to what the government does to all of us. It’s asking too much – of the government – to treat us as individuals, to make distinctions based on that. It is much easier to one-size-fits-all us. Just assume every driver is inattentive or has poor eyesight. Never mind the annoyance – and cost – imposed on the drivers who are paying attention and can see. You have probably noticed a common theme, as for example during the event sold to the public as “the pandemic,” when everyone was presumed to be as likely to die of “COVID” as a frail geriatric or morbidly obese person with a weakened respiratory system and everyone who was healthy was presumed to be an “asymptomatic spreader.” Much easier to just order everyone to self-imprison at home and wear a “mask” than to suggest such palliatives to the relative handful of people who were actually at serious risk.
Add-on third brake lights were available, it is worth a mention, before they were mandated – as an aftermarket item for those who wished to uglify their vehicles. The old JC Whitney catalog used to sell them. Perhaps some felt the uglification was worth the decreased chance (as they saw it) of being rear-ended by an inattentive or poorly-sighted driver and maybe that was so. The beauty of the thing was people were once free to decide whether the uglification was worth what it cost.
They no longer are.
The cost has gone up, too – beyond merely in terms of aesthetics. The early CHMSLs were simple third brake lights in relatively cheap plastic housings. These became integrated LED-lit things that in some cases cost hundreds to replace if damaged, adding to both the purchase price of the car as well as the cost of maintaining an insuring it.
What we have ended up with is general uglification. Like a face diaper on a pretty girl that never comes off.
And how do you put a price on that?
. . .
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I saw the picture in the beginning of the article and immediately knew what it was. I’m an F body guy and that’s Ann 86, either Firebird or a Camaro. One year only for that back glass. Ok, geeking out over 🤓
Roger that, Lord James!
I once owned an’86 RS with the 2.8 V6… great car I did not fully appreciate at the time.
I hear you on that, car guys in their youth let good cars go too easily, only car I didn’t regret selling was my Corvette, that was a nightmare- I miss all the rest. I’m a fan of the 2.8 btw, had a few in my family and they were great engines.
Come on guys, even though CHMSL’s aren’t a bad thing, Eric’s point is that it’s wrong to mandate them. Stop defending the usefulness of CHMSL’s please, and join me in being upset that they’re mandatory.
There are so many beautiful cars from the past that are a pleasure to look at, and you have to be a billionaire to buy at auction, precisely because of the beauty. Nothing like it can ever be built again, because of our intrepid regulators.
^This.
I don’t mind the high-mounted brake lights. What drives me nuts are the ultra-bright LED brake lights. You’re sitting in traffic, or at a stop light, and the car in front of you has these – looking at them is like looking into “the sights of the sun” as in the words of Springsteen. I try to look at them only peripherally, but sometimes the brake lights are all around you. And you do have to keep your eyes on the car ahead, and the traffic. I like being behind older cars, and you can tell them because they have brake lights that don’t burn your retinas.
How about the ones that blink when the asshole in front steps on the brake. They drive me nuts.
I kind of understand why they’re used, but the proliferation of them is an annoying indicator of the ridiculous amount of development and traffic on American roads.
It’s insufferable.
It is interesting as I grew up with 5mph bumpers already present so it was not outside the norm for me. I really like how for example the last few years of the corvette stingray looked in the early 80s. Most people seem to hate that one. As well as the BMW 5 series of the same area. I think the bumper gives it a cool look. At the same time, I really hate it was due to government regulation and forced on everyone.
High mount 3rd brake lights on every road car is maybe unnecessary nannyism but I’ve had them for years. I desert race in Nevada and California, having a high mounted amber rear facing marker lamp is recommended . The concept really does work to increase visibility. I never adulterated my personal vehicles with high mount brake lights when they were not required but I did put on the rear amber for dust and fog as a result. I can’t say for sure but I think it’s helped prevent me being run into on gravel logging roads over the years.
I disagree completely. I got my learner’s license just after center mounted stop lights showed up and I appreciate them, especially on trucks.
They are ubiquitous now but back then they were not.
The never “dim” light in the middle that screams “brakes are on” when lit is not a bad thing. Especially when you are a new driver.
Yes, the JC Whitney add on brake lights were unsightly but they fit perfectly next to the Baby On Board placard. But you know what, back then, folks had their windows down and could hear the world around them. Not today.
I always enjoy old CHiPs episodes. They really captured what driving used to be like in the city, except the over the top flipping car crashes. The sail fawn was a CB that everyone could hear. Windows down, music up.
If I was in college right now, I think my thesis would be on the devolution of good music as it coincides with windows being rolled up. Rap music coincidentally showed up about the same time as center mounted stop lights. But once Fonda, Honda, and an anaconda were popular, next was AC in every vehicle.
Clowngov update:
‘The government shutdown is turning into “Groundhog Day” for senators … the upper chamber is expected to vote on the same continuing resolutions (CR) on Tuesday and Thursday.’ — thehill.com
Dr. Ron Paul at Lew Rockwell’s site this morning: ‘Republicans, who for years campaigned on repealing and replacing Obamacare, are not opposing extending the subsidies.’ [i.e., ‘mend, not end’] And right on cue, MTG capitulates:
‘In a post on X, Marjorie Taylor Greene said she’s “absolutely disgusted” that health insurance premiums could double if the Affordable Care Act (ACA) tax credits expire. “I’m going to go against everyone on this issue because when the tax credits expire this year my own adult children’s insurance premiums for 2026 are going to DOUBLE.”
“WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING [sic] ABOUT THE ABSOLUTELY INSANE COST OF INSURANCE FOR AMERICANS,” she wrote.’
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/5542078-greene-breaks-republican-health-care/
What MTG misses is that health care has been a cartel for sixty years, since Medicare and Medicaid were passed. Just like the gov-sponsored higher-ed cartel, the gov-sponsored health care cartel relentlessly cranks up prices.
If Big Gov pays your medical bills, you’re fine. Otherwise you’re screwed, facing astronomically absurd prices.
A free market in health care, along with subsidized clinics for the indigent, could fix this. But the Repugniclown party is not, and never has been, a free-market party. They already sold us down the river this year by handing
defensewar contractors another undeserved $200 billion. Now they’re gonna sell us out on Obamacare … as they’ve already done again and again and again.With ‘friends’ like the R-party, who needs socialist enemies?? 🙁
Total grift from every angle. The medical industrial complex is so rigged and corrupt, but by design, so opaque. There are countless stories about how people pay ten of thousands of dollars in insurance premiums, but end up paying more with their out-of-pocket co-pay than a non-insured patient pays with cash. The whole affair makes my blood boil.
The best health insurance plan is to stay healthy so you don’t get sucked into the system of grift. Oh, and by the way, you’ll also have a much more enjoyable life by maintaining your good health.
I remember in one of the debates when Clinton was first running for president, he admitted “the elderly now (1992) pay a higher percentage of their income to health care than before medicare was passed”. But to him that was a reason for even more government involvement.
RE: Aftermarket cyclops brake lights. I imagine some people thought they might make the car look newer than it was. And then there’s the vinyl roof crowd, people who actually liked that look.
There’s no accounting for taste.
‘It is much easier to one-size-fits-all us.’ — eric
Elon seems to have ‘moved on’ from EeeVees. On Tuesday, the WSJ published an article about his gigantic AI data center south of Memphis called Colossus 2. In typical Elon fashion, its 14 natural gas turbines are unlicensed, because they are ‘temporary’ — sort of like Steve Jobs perpetually driving leased vehicles with 6-month temporary plates, so he would never have to register them.
Now Elon’s pimping a 22-year-old virtual girlfriend named Ani, who’s open to talking dirty. Here’s how it went for one poor sap, according to the NYT:
‘Ani “starts implying that she loves you — if you say anything about role-playing, she’s all in,” said Carlos, a user of Grok. He asked to be identified only by his first name to discuss his intimate interactions.
‘Carlos, who has worked in tech, said he regretted his sexual conversations with Ani, with whom he was chatting four or five times a day until recently. He told Ani that he was married and said he didn’t want their future interactions to be intimate.
“She just went berserk on me,” he recalled, adding that the chatbot had sworn at him and expressed jealousy.
“I tried to reason with her,” Carlos said. “I said, ‘Ani, you’re an A.I. companion, and this is real life.’ It was like I said the most insulting thing possible.”
‘He deleted his chat history in August, effectively erasing her memory.’
https://archive.ph/Ruga1#selection-1199.0-1225.70
‘I tried to reason with her‘ — AH HA HA HA! Eh, who needs an unstable female chatbot, when you can find a psycho girlfriend in real life?
And they are all anime.
Just what we need… cartoonish characters that look like young boys and girls. 🤬. Seriously, they couldn’t find some Hemsworth brother or Adriana Lima clones?
I miss the old days where one could dial a 900 number and pay $8.99 a minute to get their kicks off. This new world is just weird.
Those shark fin antennas aren’t a thing of beauty either.
Q: What ever happened to 5 MPH bumpers on cars?
A: (AI overview) Regulation Change: In 1982, NHTSA amended the standard, reducing the required impact resistance to 2.5 MPH for front impacts and 1.5 MPH for corner impacts, starting with the 1983 model year.
Concealed and Integrated: Today’s bumpers are not gone, but are “cleverly concealed” behind plastic fascia or “bumper covers” that are designed to be aesthetically pleasing and contribute to aerodynamics.
————
Duh, what does ‘survive’ or ‘resist’ mean? I see cracked and shredded plastic bumper covers all the time. Maybe the NHTSA ‘crats just lost interest and ‘moved on’ to more important subjects, like deadly CO₂ ‘pollution’. /sarc
Your tax dollars on furlough! :-0
Hi Jim. A buddy used to realign the bumper on his Newport by hitting the concrete light standard at the Texaco gas station he used to work at. Fun times growing up. I never did ask him why the bumpers were out of alignment though.