Go slow, young man!
Slow is the only way to go. Velocity, quickness of reaction. Taking independent action (based on independent judgment) rather than waiting to be told what to do by Authority…
These are the enemies of safety.
And safety is, of course, the guiding light of our declining age.
The pansyfied acronym is shorthand for Be Responsible and Keep Everyone Safe.
Has the taste of vomit entered your mouth yet?
Kia – of all things, a car company! – has “partnered” (right up there with “community” and “learn more” in terms of retch-worthy triggers) with this B.R.A.K.E.S. outfit to sour the youth on driving by exhorting them that even the lightest pressure on the accelerator is muey evil while perpetually riding (and applying) the brakes is the sine qua non of “good” driving.
Defensive driving. AKA, passivity and learned helplessness, centered on the prime directive: Obey The Law.
Especially speed limit laws, which are the equivalent of Winston in Orwell’s novel, 1984, being conditioned to believe that 2 + 2 = 5. It’s obvious bullshit, but no one dares say so openly. One must say the opposite – and in a doublethinkian way, really believe it, too.
I see five fingers! I really do!
So begins the corruption of the youth.
They are not taught that it is safer to pass quickly – even if it means “speeding.” Rather they are taught not to pass at all.
The Conga line is much more safe.
Do you suppose the kids are taught the merit of yielding to faster-moving traffic? That’s a law safely ignored.
Just slow down. It is always good to slow down. The slower, the better. Remember – speed kills!
A Clover is born.
No wonder the youth are turning to gadgets, staying indoors and jerking off to Internet porn.
Kids are giving up on cars in record numbers (and percents). The reason why is obvious: Cars have become No Fun. Where is the adventure? The freedom? The things that appeal to normal young people? Driving is becoming much like being married to a bitter, frigid menopausal Cat Lady when you yourself are still 22.
Today’s teens are lectured and hectored, controlled and constrained. Cars are dangerous! Buckle up! Geo-fencing, parental monitoring; the water-torture of endlessly “graduated” licenses. I have told a few of them about a dreamy world – the one I grew up in – where most kids began driving at 15 and were fully licensed the day they turned 16. Free as any adult to go where they liked, when they liked and – most of all – how they liked.
Yes, kinder, it’s true… there were no buckle-up for safety laws, back then. Or black boxes or parental controls either. Car companies made their pitch to youth on the basis of speed and style and sex – the things normal youth appreciates. I weep for you… .
Once upon a time, a print ad for the Pontiac GTO showed a couple of young guys cruising Woodward Avenue in their new Judge. The ad copy read: You Know The Rest of The Story.
Indeed we did.
The “training” of today’s youth (a la B.R.A.K.E.S) consists of inducted them into the Safety Cult as newbie acolytes, prospect Clovers. They are being prepared – conditioned – for the future world (almost here) of automated/self-driving cars. That is, for cars driven by uber Clovers (like the uber Morlocks in H.G. Wells’ novel, The Time Machine) who will make sure everyone gets where they are going safely.
That is, very slowly.
I will be accused, of course, of advocating for “recklessness.” But is it better to know how to drive – or to be driven?
To be herded, like cattle. Or to be the cowboy.
That is, indeed, the question.
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