I’m Sorry, Dave . . .

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You have probably watched the Stanley Kubrick sci-fi classic, 2001: A Space Odyssey – which came out back in 1968, the year Apollo 10 orbited the Moon, in advance of the landing that took place the following year.

The movie has many predictive themes, including an artificial intelligence named HAL that ends up trying to kill the two astronauts sent to check out an anomaly on one of Jupiter’s moons. The AI has a dead-calm, Ted Bundy-like voice that refuses to open the pod bay door – to let the surviving astronaut back into the spaceship.

I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid can’t do that. 

Fast forward 56 years. HAL is real. And he’s behind the dashboard of your next new car.

I am currently test-driving a new Kia Sorento so equipped. It is one of many with iterations of HAL but this one takes it up a notch. After the car was dropped off the other day, I decided to drive it around to get some initial impressions, which is what I always do when I get a new car to test drive. But before I begin my drive, I familiarize myself with the car and its controls – including the radio (now the audio system) controls.

After looking around for a little while, I realized there aren’t any.

Not in a physical interface sense.

No buttons or knobs.

Just a big slab of LCD touchscreen, but it did not respond to my touch. Then I saw a small button. On the left side of the steering wheel. With an icon of a person talking. So I pressed it. This cued up the Kia’s HAL. On the right side of the LCD display, a shape-shifting amoeba thing began to undulate, signaling it was ready to listen.

“Channel 125,” I said. And it responded. Voila – Channel 125 began to play.

But are we being played?

Talking to the car – to its AI – is the latest “surprise and delight” thing they’re putting into new cars to  . . . surprise and delight prospective customers. It’s an industry term that means, basically, wow the customer with some new thing that makes them want to buy because what they have hasn’t got it.

In the past, this new thing was usually some mechanical thing – such as a bigger/stronger/smoother engine. Or a new standard amenity – such as a great stereo or standard power windows – that was previously either an expensive option or not even available.

But now all new cars have these amenities – so, ho-hum. And the improvements in drivetrain “technology” are at best incremental and (lately) not improvements at all, such as smaller and less powerful engines that are also more complicated and expensive engines. So how to get buyers excited about buying something new that doesn’t really have much to offer that they don’t already have?

How about not having to turn a knob to change the channel/program you’re listening to?

Many new vehicles have this voice command “tech.” Some have what is styled “gesture control,” which means you don’t actually have to touch a control to exert control over whatever it is, such as the volume control.

Of course, you’re not actually controlling anything. The AI tech is – and this raises some questions worth asking. Such as what will happen when the AI decides not to do what you’ve asked it to – like the HAL 9000 unit in the Discovery?

I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Always polite. But firmly in control. Like a parent that says no to a child. Only that thing embedded in the car isn’t your parent and you are not its child. More finely, that thing embedded in the car doesn’t have the love for its “child” that a parent has for his or her child. Over whom the parent is exercises benevolent and temporary control until the child becomes an adult.

The control being exercised by that thing embedded in the car considers you an idiot child that requires endless parenting. The distinction is important.

And what is the upside?

Convenience.

Yes, that’s the sell. That and the flashiness of  “tech” – as in the way a seagull at the beach is wowed by the glint of a piece of tinfoil blown across the sand. The seagull pecks at it – and so does the prospective car buyer.

Look at this! Wow! I don’t have to do anything! The car does it for me!

Of course, it will be inconvenient when HAL decides not to open the pod bay doors. When it decides not to allow you to drive faster than whatever the posted speed limit is. Or pulls itself over – and parks – because it decides you’re too “tired” to continue driving.

It’s time for a rest, Dave. 

All for what? So that you no longer need to reach over to turn a knob to the left or the right in order to change the station/program you’re listening to.

Maybe we deserve to not be allowed back into the pod bay.

. . .

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36 COMMENTS

  1. Microphones and LCD displays are cheaper than buttons and knobs. They can be wave soldered directly to circuit boards, which can have injection molded bezels and cases installed by robots. This assembly can then be added to a larger dash module, which can be built away from the final assembly factory, covered in shrink wrap and shipped out as a single unit, with one or more CANBUS connectors to communicate with the ECM. Provided the subcontractor did its job properly, the vents and other mating surfaces should match perfectly.

    And that microphone isn’t going to get torqued out of alignment, isn’t going to get scraped on the way to the plant, and isn’t going to ever break off. It is effectively solid state, even though there’s a moving diaphragm and voice coil. At most the plastic of the diaphragm might degrade over time, but there are 100 year old microphones still able to be used today, made out of materials far less robust than that microphone.

  2. Buying an EV or plug in hybrid with a lithium fire bomb battery?…think again….

    These EV’s should be banned….they will burn the place down….

    Four people lose their lives in a fiery Tesla crash in Toronto, where first responders again had to break windows as the doors would not unlock..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBbtOcC1lNU

  3. Buy an old iron age car…no HAL and no lithium fire bomb battery…

    Used hybrid cars are TOTALLY WORTHLESS. BMW 330e battery cost……..

    8 year old 100,000 mile…BMW 330e plug in hybrid…retail value today about 7500 pounds…$9700

    hybrid lithium battery replacement cost 10,000 pounds….$12,900

    So the car is worthless…..Full EV’s have the same problem

    Insane prices….

    2024 BMW 7 series EV…205,000 pounds msrp…$265,000

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D10HE6_S3ng

  4. More than a bit OT, but I thought that you might like this one: Ford CEO drives Chinese EV as his personal vehicle: ‘It’s fantastic’

    link – https://www.themidwesterner.news/2024/10/ford-ceo-drives-chinese-ev-as-his-personal-vehicle-its-fantastic/

    Perhaps he can go run that Chinese EV plant in Mexico – https://forum.ericpetersautos.com/forums/topic/chinas-premier-ev-automaker-plans-factory-in-mexico-to-flood-u-s-market/

    I might have to call back the sales guy at Ford that wants me to buy a new F150 and ask him if he has any Chinese made trucks as his CEO seems to prefer Chinese products over the company that he heads.

    Anon

  5. When I was a kid I remember watching the tv show Knight Rider and thinking to myself how cool it would be to have a car like KITT. And of course all of the James Bond type things that car was capable of doing. But now, as an adult that would be last thing I’d want in a car! Because anything with that sort of computing power can malfunction, break down or be hacked and end up turning against its user. This was explored somewhat in the tv show in an episode where KITT was hacked by bad guys and tried to kill Michael (David Hasselhoff).

    But what gets me is how so many people get suckered in by all these increasingly complicated bells and whistles on vehicles. For a while Buick was advertising a car that “parks itself”. Sorry, but that’s about one of the lamest things I’ve ever seen…. Worse yet, some of ads had a male driving using this feature. Sorry, but any guy who can’t even do a mediocre job of parallel parking has to be some kind of a wimp. I see ads for vehicles touting such “features” and they don’t appeal to me in the least. Clearly I’m not the only one who feels that way.

  6. Yes because voice controls in vehicles are world renouned for impeccable performance and accuracy. Kia must have noticed they have one foot too many. How many dialects of spic and creole can it understand? Atleast the government won’t be providing illegal aliens new kias at our expense.

    Eric,
    If it’s just the radio that’s one thing. Does it control any other systems (yet)?
    Systems that one might expect to control while holding a conversation? Because that would be pretty infantilizing, especially given the cost.

  7. I refuse to talk to a car. Had way too many disagreements with the SYNCH system in our old MKX. Told the thing to fuck off so many times, it finally stopped badgering us. Bricked the car at just over a hundred thousand miles.

    Someones going to break through and find a way to make reasonably priced, simple analog cars in the US again. Without all the digital geegaws, people will line up around the building to buy them. When that happens, expect the big three to act surprised as they adopt the successful business model on a limited basis.

    • I’m waiting for it, Norman. I’m far too busy myself, or I might try and do something of the sort.

      Again, I think what might be instrumental is the “Vehicular Sanctuary State”, as much of the “digital geegaws” might be Federally mandated. But you’re right, I think the populace has a great hunger for a simplistic car. One with toggle switches, buttons and analog lights and mechanism for the few functions requiring such things.

      …With the commensurate price tag. I think that $8k and under can be accomplished when the thing isn’t loaded with airbags and other reprehensible BS. Shit, I think you could even build a simple electric car for that. Just a matter of the will to do so and removal of the obstacles.

      • Maybe we can find a few states with the sand to stand against Leviathan. I Like your idea of a Sanctuary State, Figure the best way to make it work, as far as cars go, start small with a simple ATV type old school Rav-four like vehicle. Learn from old Henry. One model, two types of transmissions, auto, or manual. One color, well made and affordable, people would come

    • Yes, if they made some vehicles that are what the Jitterbug cellphone is to smart phones – that would be great. Something simple and easy to operate that does the job, without all the techie glitz.

    • You would have liked my ‘63 Alfa Gulia Sprint.

      Nothing shut off with the ignition key but the ignition. Lights, wipers, radio, heater fan all on till I flipped the switch to OFF. Kept me on my toes to ensure I didn’t come back to a dead battery.

      Another car I never should have sold.

      • Lots of nice examples of those Gulia’s on Classiccars.com. I had a squad leader at Ft. Bragg who spent five years prior in Italy. Came back with an early eighties spider, and a peach of an Italian wife. Got to drive the spider a few times when he was to hooped for a beer run to the PX. Nice Manuel transmission, the canvas top was already trashed after only four or five years, but if if I remember, they didn’t have a carport or garage at their house, so it was always in the elements. I don’t remember it being overly fast though, Still nice. I’d take one if I didn’t already have a convertible.

        • Morning, Norman!

          I’d really like to have a ’70s or even an ’80s Camaro with T-tops. I once owned two (a ’78 and an ’80). So strange to remember that such cars were once routinely driven by (broke) young guys once.

          PS: Item is en route!

          • Hey Eric,

            The Camaro was always a favorite of mine growing up. Always hoped I’d end up with one. By the time I could afford it, there were others higher on my wish list. I occasionally see an eighties project Camaro, reasonably priced. Problem is, I’d want to do the work myself, and if I’m being honest, I don’t possess the bandwidth, or time, to do it justice.

            As kids, we were impressed with the way they looked and sounded. Those cars were the rockstars of my neighborhood. More than once, someone who owned one said, Camaro’s and firebirds were great for separating the ladies from their panties.

    • Yeah, me too, Norman. I am sure my newer car is listening and I do not give a damned. I grew up under Big Brother so I have learned to use it to my advantage and against them. Oh, and to get a few messages across as well. More than a few times I have commented that they do make ’em like they used to, and I am not talking about the car either.

  8. Convenience!
    I’ve come to loathe the word.
    You want REAL convenience? Blow your brains out, or OD on fentanyl. Everything is now MUCH more “convenient”.

  9. These cars bring even more meaning to “throw away society”. In 5-10 years this tech will be “unsupported”. The car will be scrap (It’s a KIA. It’s motor will usually fail first anyway. Cylinder #3). Perhaps this society NEEDS to be thrown away.

  10. Looking forward to the lawsuits that result from ’Hal’ pulling you over during a blizzard because it senses you driving erratically, and you then freeze to death.

    • That is what will happen up here, Mike. Folks weave and dodge around the frost heaves and the occasional moose. The AI and safety crap will brick the vehicle in BFE and inevitably someone is going to freeze to death because the vehicle will also shut the heater off in the cabin as well. Personally I think the AI and the talking to the vehicle the way Eric was doing is just down right creepy. Did they ask any of us if we wanted this computerized junk? Of course not.

  11. My 2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee has this “feature” but still has buttons for temp control. I’ve tried the voice commands but bagged it since I don’t have the knack for speaking “computer”. Too many missed commands or failure to recognize. Get one key word wrong and no dice.

    Mechanical controls – the 2003 Escape all HVAC by three knobs. However the 1991 Silverado has buttons and bars requiring you to take your eyes off the road to adjust, I didn’t like it in ‘91 “what a step backwards!”. That Silverado controller is all electronic too, I’m lucky it still functions- the only available fix is to remove it and polish the brass contacts with an eraser.

    Speaking of contacts, that’s the usual failure point especially high current draw like the heater fan and AC compressor. Same Silverado had a total fan and AC failure that wasn’t the controller it was a melted connector behind the glove box. Internet GM forum saved me on that one, it’s a common failure.

  12. [ 2001: A Space Odyssey – which came out back in 1968, the year Apollo 10 orbited the Moon, in advance of the landing that took place the following year.] Article

    “We’ll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false.” – William J. Casey, CIA Director (1981)

    Artificial Intelligence. Already been invented. He is just now discovering it is a total failure. His little pets are gonna destroy an entire weeks work!

  13. A car people could just get in and drive, gave the slaves far too much freedom…..

    A great skill people developed was the ability to drive a car….especially fully analog stick shift cars. this is being taken away now.

    People with a lot of driving experience, stored all this information in their subconscious, they didn’t have to think much when they were driving, their subconscious did 80% of the driving, they could react in a split second…were highly skilled, far better then any computer driven car.

    This driving skill gave people the freedom to drive anywhere they wanted to go, even 1000’s of miles away, 24/7/365, total freedom, it was like a magic carpet, go wherever you wished, at anytime.

    The controllers are taking this away, when there is only self driving cars, with no human controls, the slaves are trapped, at the mercy of the masters and their central AI control.

    The central mind….. AI….controlled by the masters…the slave owners…. will decide where the slaves go….nowhere….just walking allowed around the 15 min city/prison/camp….coming soon….

    • People with a lot of driving experience, stored all this information in their subconscious, they didn’t have to think much when they were driving, their subconscious did 80% of the driving, they could react in a split second…were highly skilled, far better then any computer driven car.

      but…this required that all their senses were unblocked …if they got distracted…they could crash….

      The solution….force them to use touch screens only….force them into huge over weight cars you can’t see out off…cars that give zero feed back so the driver has no clue what the car is doing….

      then they will crash more…the result…another excuse to ban cars….

      All planned….

      • Amazing isn’t it? The few can tell others what they can and can’t do,,,,, what they can and can’t have,,,,, What they can and can’t think,,,,, what they can and can’t say.
        We call this an advanced society! lol

        • And all controlled by a central AI….the judge, jury and executioner….

          If AI is running the slave herd reduction agenda….it removes the direct involvement of the slave owners….shift the blame onto the AI….

          If it kills a few billion….it was hacked…or a slight coding error….we aren’t responsible…

          Run by AI and maybe completed with AI armed robots……

  14. Yawn! Voice control isn’t even a new concept.

    Voice control was done in mass production by Ford Sync back in 2007. There were others that predated Ford but more limited in scale.

    The only thing new is taking away the physical controls that used to be necessary when Sync (or any other system) didn’t recognize the voice command and you had to do it yourself. Stupid on steroids.

    Life is hard . . . It’s a whole lot harder if you’re stupid.

  15. You know what would surprise and dazzle me in a new car……Three pedals and no got dam creepy tech….port injection…and knobs and buttons…….Hey kia et al…..Go FUCK yourself. I will drive my old shit.

  16. Hey, Hal, go fuck yourself.

    I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

    That’s what I thought, so go fuck yourself.

    Somebody has to be brutally frank, no other way.

    With all of the digital technology, it is obvious that the surveillance state is right where you are no matter where you go.

    Hey, don’t fret, don’t worry, it is okay, keep your sunnyside up.

    They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating
    And from what I’ve seen I believe ’em
    Now the old boy may be barely breathing
    But the heart of rock and roll, heart of rock and roll is still beating
    – Huey Lewis and the News, The Heart of Rock and Roll

  17. Oh goody. More technology that will quit working in 5 years and that you won’t be able to get parts for. It’s funny how long electro-mechanical parts last compared to purely electronic parts.

    It also makes you wonder how well this system will work when you’ve got the radio blasting or you have laryngitis.

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