Where’s the Beef?

Have you been shopping for beef lately? For steak, specifically? I just did that yesterday – but I didn’t buy any, because the price seems to have almost doubled to – according to my informal survey – about $12 on the low end for a small, not-prime-cut steak that cost around $8 a few months ago.  The decent-size ribeyes were $16 and up each. Some were over $20.

Trump – in his usual low-rent way – promises that beef will be more affordable soon because he has approved the tariff-free importation of “300,000 metric tons of lean beef trimmings” from undisclosed sources. These “trimmings” – meaning, probably, the parts and pieces left on the floor of the slaughterhouse that they sweep up – will have to be sold 25 percent below current market prices for the next 90 days. That’s three whole months! It all ends just in time for the mid-terms, too.

Curiously, Trump’s official proclamation is headlined: President Donald J. Trump Further Ensures Affordable Beef for the American Consumer.

“Affordable”? Hasn’t Trump been arguing that there is no “affordability” problem? That it is all a hoax and Democrat talking points, like the Epstein Stuff? Someone call Humpty Dumpty, who was the first to elaborate the doctrine that “When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.”

Nor anything at all.

Humpty Trumpty’s proclamation goes on:

“Since returning to office, President Trump has moved swiftly to restore affordability, fight to reverse the Biden Administration’s inflation crisis, and strengthen America’s farmers, ranchers, and food supply.”

Italics added. No explanation necessary.

“Under President Trump, even after accounting for higher prices, real wages grew by $822 in 2025, putting more money in the pockets of hard-working Americans, with more savings on the way from further deregulation.”

Even if true, every cent of that gain (and then some, for most of us) has already been lost at the pump, courtesy of the War Tax we’re all paying.

Back to the beef. According to the White House, “Today’s action reflects The Trump administration’s continued focus on driving down costs for all Americans.”  Let’s translate that into non-Humpty-ese: 

Americans will get temporarily less expensive slaughterhouse sweepings from God-only-knows-where. In Humpty-Trumpy’s own words. Or at least, the words of his scribes:

“This temporary action will increase beef supply by roughly 10% over current projections – an amount that will deliver economic relief to American consumers, will only compete with cull cow markets, and will not significantly impact the fed cattle market”

Italics added.

What is a “cull cow”? It’s another way of saying a downer cow – as people who raise cows refer to cows on their last legs, who can barely stand on them anymore and that often have to be dragged or (via a front end loader) scooped up and hauled to the hamburger mill.

Note: There will be no reduction in the cost of steaks – like the prime ribeyes that are no doubt served au jus to the diners at the White House, for whom the cost of beef is as much a concern as the cost of gas.

Welcome to the Golden Age!

. . .

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