Online Dating II: “KelsseysMom”

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In addition to their being Plenty of Fat (POF) online, one of the other things you will find lots of when checking out the profiles of chicks on dating sites is  . . . other guys’ kids.

Probably two-thirds of the online dating population is Single Mom.

And belligerently advertise the fact. “KelsseysMom,” “ProudMomof2,” “MykidsComefirst” – these are real profile handles I submit for your consideration.

Or, not.

A woman who has kids has to think about her kids, of course. But what about you? does she think a man she hasn’t even met yet wants to think about her kids? Before he has even said hello?

Here’s what he does know, though:

Scratch that one off the list. Next!

Mean? Selfish?

No – proactively self-defensive.

You will be third (or fourth) banana – at best.

At first.

She will not have much time for you.

Right off the bat – before you even know anything about her. Think about that.

Now, a married guy – and the father of kids – will naturally accept second or third banana-hood  as both reasonable and natural. But a single guy looking for a date – let alone a girlfriend? He doesn’t care about your kids – and never will, because he’ll never ask you on a date, if he has  any sense (making girlfriend status not likely, let alone wife status) since your profile has made it clear right off the bat that you will be second or third banana before you even got to enjoy 5 minutes of first banana-hood.

In the event you are dumb enough to click “wink” or send her a note there will not be much fun, let alone sex. There will be hassles – and bills. Bad enough when they’re yours . . . but some other guy’s?

Also: Ask yourself why they are single moms. Why there are so many of them . . . .

Modern Oprah-ized women – even women with kids – will bail on a marriage the moment it no longer “makes them happy.” Do you suppose you will succeed where the Ex failed?

If these women were not the type you absolutely do not want to get within blast radius of, they would tell you they have a kids, certainly – but not make it the fulcrum of their profile and the centerpiece of their identity. What would you think about someone who identified themselves as “HanSolo5” and two-thirds of their profile waxed on and on (and on) about their Star Wars fixation and made it real clear you’d better share that interest?

Maybe if you dress up like Darth Nihilus on weekends.

But otherwise?

Kids are a part of life. They are not the only thing in life. Not for a person who isn’t tetched in the head.

Unfortunately, lots of people are so tetched.

Many of them single moms.



  1. Since I can’t post a picture, I am including a link which will give you the picture which illustrates this discussion perfectly from the view of a single man.

    We (I and She Who Must be Obeyed) got married 40 years ago. 25 and 24 with no ex’s and no kids. I had had my belly full of dating women with kids and ex husbands. You can get some decent sex with them, but don’t expect that to continue.And even the sex doesn’t seem worth the hassle after a while.

    I believe that is one reason we stayed married and had OUR own kid. NO baggage.

    • I know this post is six years old (I saw it in the pop ups), but the note-to-my-godson is interesting reading. Some of it is funny, other parts are quite true, the rest…complete BS.

      How bored (or unhappy) is a man/woman that has the perseverance to analyze a relationship for umpteen pages? Obviously, Gerold is retired, because no working person has the time to dissect something of this magnitude (or would want to).

      Many may disagree with me, but there is no magic potion to make a relationship successful. Many will say trust, communication, respect, good sex, etc. but it comes down to both partners putting each other first. Not second banana, third banana, or fourth, but first. The spouse/partner should never come after the kids, even if they are his kids. The first priority should always be each other. If one expects to leave with the date to the dance that they arrived with that is how it is done.

  2. In China, unattached late 20s/30s no kids chicks enter an unwanted category they call “leftover women”. I assume there is a reason somewhere behind this moniker.

  3. Eh, glad I’m getting a company-paid vasectomy…I’ve seen enough kid-related misery in my parent’s lives. Petty theft, grand theft auto, mouthing off, snitching, whining, squabbling…kudos to anyone who can endure that, but no thanks for me. I’d rather have some cool cars, plenty of books and magazines, and travel the country in an old hearse.

    • Hi Crazy,


      I think I could deal with my own progeny and any attendant hassles. But inherited hassles not so much. Also, the inherited ex, who comes with the package.

      My cats blink at me in silent concurrence…

    • Even IF I liked and wanted kids…why would I want to bring any into a world where they would not be free?

      And I know that I could never provide them with the quality of childhood that I had, ’cause even if I had the patience and love and all of that, this world is just too far gone.

      But I don’t even like kids. Hmmm…maybe I should have some….THAT’D fix ’em! 😉

  4. Had the same problem when I was in my TWENTIES!!!! Every chick in her late teens or early 20’s already had at least one kid! If they weren’t welfare mamas, then they were “going to school” and working a job or two…while taking care of the kid.

    Ummmm…..when exactly do they expect to see their boyfriend? (Or their kids, for that matter).

    All because they didn’t have the character to say no, and wait. No…it’s the instant gratification generation. Let us know how THAT works out ya, bitches!

    Women are stupid.
    Women are socialistic.
    That is why we don’t swee any women posting here.

    I hate socialists; and I don’t enjoy the company of stupid people. Is it any wonder I’ve been MGTOW most of my life?

    There is nothing out there…at any age. Girls today are ruined before they’re 15.

  5. The best part of single moms is if you live with one for a year or so. Then when she dumps you, you too get to pay child support for those kids. Because inequality, don’t you know?

    • Not sure where that law is but the government always seeks to attach the nearest male wallet to a woman and her children and lack of biological relationship does not seem to be acceptable legal grounds to stop it.

      • Read Warren Farrell’s Father and Child Reunion or Stephen Baskervile’s Taken Into Custody: The War Against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family for the horrific details on just how violently the family court system abuses men.

  6. I don’t do internet social bs so it was news to me till just recently when I started getting this singles stuff in my email. I finally figured out employment sites were selling my address to anyone.

    I opened one of these one day(a few actually, since there were a few delivered). Since most of them have my age I got the 50 and above crowd for the most part. It was depressing.

    Things I love; long walks(naw babe, you don’t take long walks and carry that much extra), going to church, etc. etc. I dote on my 40 year old crackhead children who can’t wait to meet someone they can steal from. I love listening to my music, esp. Frank Sanatra.

    It goes on and on this way. Here’s where our sick society comes in. If they are simply willing to show you a good time for cash or barter we(they)might be getting somewhere.

    What I find hilarious is how pissed women are that the Donald simply buys a new wife and gets a no-contest divorce when he’s ready for a new one. In that respect he may be the most honest prez we ever had. Who cares if they’re Russian? He probably prefers women with some grip on the real world.

    Now you’d think I wouldn’t be an expert on Hollywood’s beautiful young divorcee who claims to not want a man for her children who’d be grown if they’d been born when she says as they cheat a good 20 years on their own age but the wife returns now and then with one of these things, always meant to be a comedy but turns into a love story and MARRIAGE by the end.

    I’m still waiting for a man to buy one of these and so is Hollywood. And they wonder why we watch fishing, hunting and gearhead shows. Dang ma, did you see that string of fish in the back of that Duramax that was still smoking the tires when the passenger managed 10 hits on that stop sign with a 13 round mag? No no, that was a Bloody Arm flag on his roof and Molon Labe on the endgate. What’s Molon Labe? Hang on……now read this…’s not long. Why would you have a bloody arm on a flag? Didn’t you say you were raised in Waco?

  7. Eric, you are right on script. Next you’ll report on women who look so bad they’d make a freight train take a dirt road (rare but at least they posted an honest pic) followed by a few who look real good right down until they mention the catch, say, genital herpes. Well, that’s what I would have reported 20 years ago when I was late forties, divorced and exploring online. During the nine years between divorce and re-marriage, I did meet many good women friends thru a hiking club and thru my service engineer job that took me to a lot of different companies. It was one of those friends who did a great job matching me up with my current wife. Finally, as a practicing stepfather, I’m going to opine that your eliminating divorced women with kids from consideration may turn out to be one of the biggest mistakes you never realize you made.

  8. Could be worse. She could be really into her cats (MrWigglesworthComesFirst).

    Most women in our age range are going to have kids. As you say, as long as they don’t make a big deal out of it, shouldn’t be too bad. Older kids would be better, grownup kids best (although I guess these days they might still be in the house). I’m fine with dating a woman with kids, but not all that interested in marrying one. As long as there’s something other than popping out a poop factory as an accomplishment. I get it that biology and instincts make it so that you’re naturally proud of your kids. But if that’s all you want to be known for, that’s all you’re going to be known for. Of course I feel that way about all “those” parents. You managed to convince someone to f*** you! Wow! And now you managed to bring a pregnancy to term! Unbelievable! Call me when your belly fruit is receiving a Nobel prize and I’ll be impressed.

    And no matter what you’re the third wheel, and I’ll bet if things get serious bad dad will be planting seeds of discontent on his visitation weekend. So now you not only have to put up with awkward teenage version of the consequences of unprotected sex, you also have angry sperm donor (assuming it was his fault for the divorce which would almost be a given if I’m dating you) and his fully-developed dick-ability to contend with.

    I’m actually almost looking forward to dating in the next few years, if only because in my “age group” her kids might be grown, she’ll likely have a net worth of something instead of nothing, and maybe she’ll be interested in companionship not a relationship. I doubt it, but one can dream, right?

    Or maybe that 25 YO at the gym likes guys with greying hair…


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