Fake and Gay

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It seems everything about American society has become either fake – or gay. Often both. Battery-powered vehicles pretending not to be is a case in point.

Like the battery-powered device Dodge calls Charger – which it kind of is, if you are willing to wait for it. It makes noises that are fake – and so, gay. The usage here is South Park – after the brilliantly written (horribly animated) cartoon show. See also Harley Fags. They are not homosexuals – at least not necessarily.

But they are fags.

Back to gay and fake.

GM is apparently working on a battery powered device with a “clutch.” In order to simulate a manual transmission’s engagement (and disengagement). The word is bracketed in air fingers quote marks because it’s fake – and gay.

The “clutch” will electronically simulate engagement and disengagement. Just like the device called Charger simulates the sounds of the engine it hasn’t got. This “new type of clutch” uses a “a hydraulic actuator to operate a clutch in automatic transmissions used in electric cars. A controller would vary the pressure of the fluid in the actuator, which in turn would move a piston that would open or close the clutch depending on what the controller determines is best in a given scenario.”

Italics added.

In automatic transmissions.

Which do not use clutches because there is no need for a clutch – in the manual transmission sense – to disengage the engine’s rotating flywheel from the transmission, so as to enable the engine to continue running when the vehicle isn’t moving. If the driver of a car equipped with a manual transmission does not depress the clutch (or put the transmission in neutral) the engine will stall as the vehicle comes to a stop because the engine can’t turn the Earth. When the driven wheels stop turning, so does the engine – if the driver hasn’t depressed the clutch (or put the transmission in neutral).

It’s true there are automatics with clutches . . . inside them. You have probably heard of them (e.g., dual-clutch automatics). These are clutches over which the driver has no control; they are used to rapidly engage (and disengage) sets of gears within the transmission for quicker shifting.

This is not fake or gay because no one pretends dual-clutch automatics are manuals.

What GM has in the works is – per above – is a “controller” (meaning, you don’t control it) that “varies the pressure of the fluid in the actuator.” In other words, a hydraulic circuit of some kind, electronically controlled. A clutch – as such – is an entirely mechanical apparatus operated by a fork that moves the clutch in (and out) and is controlled entirely by the driver’s left foot. It is true that manual-equipped vehicles made since the late 1980s typically have a hydraulic-assist device called a slave cylinder to make it less legwork to engage and disengage the clutch – but this does not change the fundamentally mechanical/non-electronic essence of what a manual transmission and clutch are – and how (and why) they operate.

Devices don’t need clutches because electric motors don’t stall. Because they aren’t always spinning – even when they are on. Try it with an electric drill and see. So it doesn’t matter that the motor is directly connected (physically) to the drive wheels. They rotate when the motor spins. And they don’t when the motor does not. 

Most devices don’t have transmissions, at all. Because they’re not needed. Because electric motors produce tremendous torque and don’t need the leverage of gears (plural) to accelerate the weight of the vehicle. Electric motors also spin faster than engines and there is little worry about the motor coming apart because it is spinning too fast. So there is less need for the gearing reduction of a transmission (automatic or manual) upshifting to the next-highest gear.

But this makes devices boring to drive because they are all the same to drive. Much the same as using a Makita electric drill is about the same experience as using a DeWalt electric drill. This makes it hard to sell devices to people who like to drive.

The solution is obvious. Offer them something they might like to drive – such as a vehicle with an engine and a manual transmission with a clutch they control.

Instead, the manufacturers think that something gay – and fake – will make them want to buy the devices they’re making in lieu of the vehicles people want to buy, in part because the latter aren’t all the same except for their shapes and colors.

. . .

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80 COMMENTS

  1. Notice how American English has become gayed-down?
    Men used to wear SWEATSHIRTS…
    Now ‘males” wear “hoodies”. La-te-da!
    Used to be, you’d see a pretty girl and POP A BONER.
    Now, you get a “stiffy”…
    You used to go into a diner and order a CUP OF JOE.
    Now you go to STARbucks and request a “latte”….
    If your kid was bad, you used to BEAT HIS ASS.
    Now if Junior misbehaves, you give him a “time out”…
    .

  2. Most things today can be called fake and gay. K-12 (and not just the public schools) and colleges/universities are especially gay and retarded, big corporations, fancy restaurants, restaurants that don’t accept cash, most adults in western societies, women, airlines, banks, hospitals, doctors and nurses, anyone going to medical school or in medical school, Trader Joes, Whole Foods, Starbucks (Duh!), Hollywood and Netflix but that’s too obvious, pro sports, the WNBA, ESPN, and EVs especially Tesla. No man should ever drive a Tesla.

  3. Before EVs were a thing some higher end cars were pumping fake engine sound into the vehicle through the radio sound system.

    This was to make up for not engineering a satisfying engine and exhaust note.

    It starts small.

  4. Thousands of fans come to watch these hillclimb monsters….they are loud…pure emotion….you can see, feel, smell and hear these ice powered monsters….

    If they were EV’s…few would come to watch…because EV’s are dead….designed to make people hate cars….

    in video @ 6:50 1600 HP Nissan GTR….

    in video @ 7:33 700 HP Lancia Delta Integrale

    in video @ 9:52 840 HP 5 cylinder Audi Quattro

    in video @ 11:08 1030 HP V6 Toyota MR2

    in video @ 12:15 940 HP BRZ

    in video @ 15:18 1026 HP 5 cylinder Ford Fiesta

    in video @ 16:50 1100 HP Mitsubishi Lancer Evo….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKGvdLmNhM4

  5. Fake and gay: Communist News Network (CNN) —

    Maryhope Howland gave birth to a baby she thought was a boy. But at 6 years old, the child asked her questions such as “Mom, am I a boy? How do you know I’m a boy?”

    “Once I clued in, I said, ‘The doctors make a best guess based on your body … but only you can know, and we love you no matter what,’” said Howland. Her daughter came out as nonbinary at age 8 and transgender at 10.

    ‘When your child tells you they’re trans, your first response should be to thank them for sharing and learning about their experience, trans woman Nova Bright-Williams said. Learn about transness [sic] by doing your own research. Don’t rely solely on your child to guide you.

    ‘Jocelyn Rhynard’s son, then 15, told his family he was nonbinary by frosting a cake he’d baked with the phrase “I am NB.” “I was like, ‘That’s awesome. Congratulations,’” she said.’

    https://www.cnn.com/2024/06/02/health/transgender-children-parenting-advice-wellness/index.html

    How can a Lügenpresse stenographer write about an NB ‘boy’ frosting a cake, without telling us whether it was pink, with a rainbow on top? I ask you …

    • Gay lives matter!

      Pink is a color, even if a man wants to be pink, man. lol

      Trans lives matter!

      Ukraine lives matter! Since when?

      Russians kill Ukrianians, Ukrainians kill Russians.

      IDF kill Hamas, Hamas kill Israelis.

      Hezbollah kill Israelis.

      Israelis kill everybody.

      Kill them all, the credo.

      Kill all Israelis!

      Kill all Palestinians!

      Kill all Russians!

      Kill All Americans!

      Kill all Canadians!

      Kill all Mexicans!

      Kill all New Yorkers!

      Kill all Washingtonians!

      Kill all Michiganders!

      Kill everybody!

      Kill the KKK!

      Kill for Peace!

      Vitamin K to the rescue!

    • Morning, Jim!

      The fact that a six year old would even ask such a question strikes me as absurd. Absent encouragement. Absent coaching. Absent grooming. And “non-binary”? An absurdity. Male – or female. Maybe a male who likes other males (or males and females). But you’re one sex.

      • My thoughts exactly. Who put this in his head? He didn’t come up with it on his own.

        I’d tell the boy that if he chooses to go down this path, a path against God and nature, he can expect a life of mental and physical anguish. Then I’d pull him out of school and homeschool him.

        What a sick world.

    • Remember, these are the same, liberal reports that think you need to ask your baby for “permission” to change his/her diaper. Apparently, a new born or infant is going to sit in a dirty, wet pile of you-know-what until he/she is old enough to rip the damned thing off. So it is no surprise they are “going there” with regards to (IMO) this satanic, transgender stuff. If you cannot kill them in the womb, vax them to death if they manage to crawl out of the womb and see the age of 18, chop their genitals off and chemically castrate them. Lord, what an evil country this is…and to think that one is called evil and wrong for just wanting to be left alone.

    • If the kid asked “how do I know I’m a boy?” she should quote him the line from the 5 year old in the movie Kindergarten Cop – “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina”. Period

    • Gilbert thinks that hotrodding is about “cockpit layouts” and “coachbuilding”. Hotrodding IS engine building. With EVs, there is no building of engines. Customizing body panels and interiors is not hotrodding! What a clown.

      • “There is admittedly a sentimental attachment to the sound and behavior of a conventional ICE-powered car, but the simulated transmission and soundtrack of the Ioniq 5 N proves that even this can be reproduced in an EV for a full sensory driving experience. As for the smell of gasoline, there’s always Dior Fahrenheit, the cologne that smells like a fresh tank of premium unleaded.”

        Bloody hell.

  6. The Tesla Roadster that is circling the sun is a good start. The Roadster has to be toast by now.

    Starman, the virtual driver, is the space test dummy. Gamma rays galore up there in space. Starman must be radioactive toast, no doubt about it.

    Roadster, toaster, at this point, what difference does it make?

    A coney bun at the top of a toaster is just right for the open slots to toast the bun purdy much just right.

    Takes about two minutes or less to toast a hot dog bun, but you have to charge the battery for the toaster for 8 hours to have a toasted hot dog bun in two minutes.

    The only electricity you are allowed to buy and use is from charged batteries.

    Too bad, so sad. Got fished in hook, line, and sinker.

  7. Just wanted to say thank you for embracing the current terminology of our era. Fake and gay is indeed where we are and it is why I use and amplify this phrase often. You must name a thing what it is. Ridicule is the only real weapon these ‘people’ respond to, so call things as they are, not as people like to pretend them to be. ✌

  8. We also have fake “wars” in which the main guns from battle tanks:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkava
    and self-propelled artillery are used to blow up women and children, although sometimes they simply crush the victims with tank treads in order to save ammunition.

    The tank operators are thought by their commanders to be “Brave Heroes,” along with their brothers in arms in the Air Force who drop bombs on hospitals and strafe ambulances. You have to admit, it requires a unique sort of “courage” to kill people who are unable to fight back.

    • Funny you should mention that little west Asian regime. Remember ‘Russian election interference’ in 2016? Now there’s new big dog in town:

      ‘Israel organized and paid for an influence campaign last year targeting U.S. lawmakers and the American public with pro-Israel messaging to foster support for its war in Gaza.

      ‘The covert campaign was commissioned by Israel’s Ministry of Diaspora Affairs. It allocated about $2 million to the operation and hired Stoic, a political marketing firm in Tel Aviv, to carry it out.

      ‘At its peak, it used hundreds of fake accounts that posed as real Americans on X, Facebook and Instagram to post pro-Israel comments. The accounts focused on U.S. lawmakers, urging them to continue funding Israel’s military.

      ‘ChatGPT was used to generate many of the posts. The campaign also created three fake English-language news sites featuring pro-Israel articles.’ — NYT

      https://archive.ph/u3mPT#selection-709.0-729.182

      When real Americans do this, it’s called astroturfing. When foreigners do it, it’s called a felony.
      Presumably ‘attorney general’ Beria Garland is lining up a special prosecutor to dismantle this flagrant election interference.

      HA HA HA … just kidding, folks! I must be on drugs or something. Instead of prosecuting this flagrant lawbreaking, Speaker Mike ‘Judas’ Johnson has invited its mastermind to address a joint session of Clowngress — though, sadly, there won’t be any scantily-clad cheerleaders slinging batons during the halftime show.

      I’d like to see AIPAC members in the House gallery throw out baskets of hundred-dollar bills, just to watch our sordid solons scrabble like starving rats to grab their take. Democracy! 🙂

    • Well Publius, if you did not know there is a booming business making adapters to power cordless tools with a different manufacturers batteries. Readily available on any site from Amazon to Temu.

  9. Nothing new under the sun.
    Or, “it takes a French man.”
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digesting_Duck
    >The mechanical duck appeared to have the ability to eat kernels of grain, and to metabolize and defecate them. While the duck did not actually have the ability to do this…

    I once read a parody which touted fictional “improvements” to Vaucanson’s design, including the “Hydraulic Duck,” the “Electromagnetic Duck,” and, yes, even the “Magnetohydrodynamic Duck.” As we all know from watching movies, MHD is a “nearly silent propulsion system,” so no doubt, the MHD Duck had to fake its quacks via a separate sound system.

    Unsupported hypothesis: the latter may be one reason why incompetent medical doctors are referred to as “quacks.” Just a thought…

    • I rather prefer the French appellation, Canard Digérateur.

      And I heartily endorse Voltaire’s observation in 1769 that ‘Without the voice of le Maure [operatic soprano] and Vaucanson’s duck, you would have nothing to remind you of the glory of France.’

      Ah ha ha ha … ‘without the voice of Taylor Swift and the lethal crashes of ‘self-driving’ Teslas, you would have nothing to remind you of the glory of the United Snakes.’

      Got ‘vaccines’?

      https://ibb.co/N2WcTCc

  10. <I can drive better than that moron

    <I can drive better than that moron

    Oh yeah, what you got going on?

    Woody Grant, Billings, Montana car mechanic, from the movie Nebraska

    Hows abouts fake gay? How does that work?

    It is all getting really old.

    The auto manufacturers will eventually experience some ennui.

    • I can drive better than that moron

      I can drive better than that moron

      Fixed the obvious mistake.

      Looks like Berkshire Hathaway is stuck in a liquidity trap and the price is down a good 18,000 dollars per share in two days of trading.

      It could be his EV investments are not doing so well.

  11. This fake and gay phase will not last long. Things will get back to normal. The good thing about all of this is the more brazenly fake and gay things get, the more “regular” people will see through it and reject it. We come pre-programmed to recognize and reject abominations of nature. Re: the uncanny valley. I think it’s built into our DNA.

        • I’m not. It’s more dull than I ever would have guessed. Turns out libertine depravity is quite lame.

          But that SP bit about the bikers is still one of the funniest things I’ve seen!

  12. I suppose this is to make up for the fact that fewer and fewer have any interest in getting an EV? What about the dealer lots full of EVs that aren’t selling that don’t have this “clutch”?
    Still making EVs? Sucks to be you.

    • Amen, John –

      It’s embarrassing. Or – rather – I would be embarrassed to drive such a fake and gay vehicle. Imagine it. A grown man in a device that emits fake noises. I grew out of that when I hit puberty.

      • I know…I mean, I did that as a kid playing with toy Tonka Trucks, making my own, “vroom, vroom” noises, but to have to do that in a real vehicle is akin to walking around in public naked and having not bathed for months on end. And yet some would still be proud, and that is the real kick in the head…

      • Hey Eric,

        When we were kids we put clothes pins and playing cards on our bikes. They’d flap against the spokes and make a cool noise. We were kids, it was fun for a little while. Imagine an adult doing that to a car. Ha, ha.

        Cheers,
        Jeremy

  13. “no one pretends dual-clutch automatics are manuals.”

    Au contraire Oh Great One.

    My neighbor bought a new-to-him Hyundai SUV. He bragged about how it was a “manual” transmission. Why? Because he could put the gear selector in “+/-” mode and “shift” the gears. And, yes, it is consistent with his overall personality.

  14. Gimme the “Black Widows” from Clint Eastwood’s “Every Which Way But Loose” (1978) and “Any Which Way You Can” (1980), if you want a gaggle of phony bikers. At least they were funny, and in the end, made peace with Eastwood’s protagonist, bareknuckled boxer Philo Beddoe.

  15. If you want a deep dive into French philosophy, Jean Baudrillard’s argument in “Simulacra and Simulation” is that’s it’s all fake now:

    “Baudrillard claims that current society has replaced all reality and meaning with symbols and signs, and that human experience is a simulation of reality.”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulacra_and_Simulation

    My Maverick hybrid with a CVT makes fake “shift point” sounds when you put it in “Sport” mode… it doesn’t do that in any other drive mode.

  16. I have a better idea: How about we keep the six and eight cylinder engines, the manual transmissions and to hell with this fake, gay crap?? Or leave this fake, gay crap for those who want to virtue signal all day long and drive these stupid vehicles? I mean seriously? Fake manual trans sounds? Fake clutches? And how much does some stupid bastard get to pay for all this fake crap? Probably way more than it is ever worth.

  17. These so-called “brilliant” engineers think they’re the first with this novel idea of adding enhanced noise to EVs that doesn’t make noise; they’re not. We as children, Gen-X and before was doing that with our bicycles with cloths pins and baseball cards! And just to think of the possible valuable cards that were lost too!

    • We used to smash an aluminum soda can against the back tire and the bike frame. It made a hell of a noise while riding.

    • Our Traxxas RC blazer and bronco 4x4s and slash models have sound, lights and other neat options!
      Even as adults they are a lot of fun to play with.. for about 20 minutes. Then you better have a stack of expensive batteries on hand if you want to make an afternoon of it. 😋

  18. At least the “Baker” electric car was simple enough to understand how it worked, the new EVs not so much. Considering the weight of current EVs it makes you wonder what the surge amperage is getting them to start moving VS running amperage when they are at speed.

    An example of this is that I’ve got a motor that can pull 27.5 Amps under full load on startup but doesn’t blow a 15 amp fuse. The surge amperage is only around for a split second but unless the power is available the motor will never get up to speed or even turn.

    • Want to keep tabs on your small town antics celebrating Mental Health Month using YOUR tax dollars, central WA used to be conservative but the Seattle tech bros and broettes have infested local government – local city council voted 5-1 approving this derangement:

      “$2000 to Helen House & Trans Rural Lives for a Rural Trans Elders Conference to help cover costs for transgender elder attendees”

      “$500 to Trout Unlimited for a free fly fishing clinic for women, LGBTQ+ and BIPOC community members”

      The justification for the Trout Unlimited is the worst, “Historically fly fishing has been a white cis-male dominated industry …”. And on it went including “feeling unsafe or unwelcome, hostile anglers not wanting to share”

      No, this is not from Babylon Bee, this is modern small town WA state.

      • Historically automotive maintenance has been a white cis-male dominated industry. But EeeVees are Office of Civil Rights-certified to be lgbtqqip2saa* friendly.

        *Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Pansexual, Two-Spirited, and Asexual.

        Just drop your wrenches and back away from that greasy engine with your hairy paws in the air, and no one gets hurt.

  19. When I read a ‘news’ article about a patent application, Job #1 is to look it up at USPTO. Why would I trust some fake, gay ‘reporter’ who majored in Gender Studies, interned at Jalopnik, and now impersonates an engineer, to interpret it for me? Read GM’s patent application here:

    https://ppubs.uspto.gov/dirsearch-public/print/downloadPdf/20240159280

    Figure 5 explains why this application was filed. Evidently, shifting an EeeVee into second gear in GM’s high-tech Dynaflow 2-speed transmission (or whatever GM calls it) produces motor speed fluctuations (labeled 506 on the left side of Fig. 5). BAD!

    Now, insert an intervening controller with multiple feedbacks (pressure, temperature, torque and rotating inertia). Et voila! The Dynaflow shifts into high, the fluid clutch compensates on the fly, and motor speed (labeled 516 on the right side of Fig. 5) drops to a stable level.

    Fluid couplings and feedback controllers have been around for close to a century. Using them with an electric motor instead of an ICE is a new application that requires different tuning to avoid a lurching effect. But is this really non-obvious? That is, is it patentable?

    Beats me. But I will note that patent no. US6368227B1 was granted for:

    ‘A method of swinging on a swing, in which a user positioned on a standard swing suspended by two chains from a substantially horizontal tree branch induces side to side motion by pulling alternately on one chain and then the other.’

    AH HA HA HA — we’re the ones getting our chains pulled, comrades!

  20. For car lovers the sound of the engine was 60% of the experience. V12’s, V8’s, inline and flat 6’s, Audi inline 5 cylinder engines, all made great sounds…NA was best, turbos muffle the sound…..this is absent in EV’s…they have no sound…they are dead….a boring experience…

    The EV pushers knew the car lovers would hate EV’s so they pushed the 0 to 60 mph times…in every ad….to try to get car lovers to like EV’s….they failed…

    • More great sounding Alfa’s….

      550Hp Alfa 155 GTA Vs 12.000RPM Alfa 155 DTM

      Alfa Romeo 155 ITC-DTM,

      the Legendary Touring Car built for the German DTM series in the 90´s, with this particular unit seeing many special evolutions being performed specs-wise , with its 2.5 litre V6 being developed to produce over 500Hp at a staggering 12.000Rpm.

      550 Hp Alfa 155 GTA….

      The GTA here campaigned by Roberto Di Giuseppe was originally prepared by Jolly Club for Touring Car racing in the 90´s, and this machine uses all internals from the Lancia Delta Integrale…the championship winning, famous, Lampredi 4 cyl. twin cam hemi…. that was so successful on the World Rally Championship which after some fine tuning made them a competitive machine for the circuits.

      Very few units were built (less than 20 if rumours are to go by) and 2 of them later in their life found great success on the Italian Hillclimb Championship. Most notably with Roberto Di Giuseppe, who we see on the footage. Many Class wins and a Championship were won with this Monster that on its later stage of evolution was producing around 550Hp to all four wheels and capable of a 0-100Km/h sprint in less than 3 seconds.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PieQmGvoYzo

      • 550Hp Alfa 155 GTA….

        powered by a Lampredi 4 cyl. 2 liter twin cam hemi….550 Hp ….weighs about 2300 lb…0 to 60 under 3 seconds…

        5000 lb… 1000 HP EV…. 0 to 60 in under 3 seconds…

        One little 2 liter, 4 cylinder, from the 1950’s…as quick as a 3 motor. 1000 HP EV…..and far quicker on a race track….5000 lb cars will never be quick on a race track….

        The ice powered car sounds better, is far, far quicker on a race track, gets better fuel economy and doesn’t need a $20,000 battery replacement at 100,000 miles…

        When the battery dies the EV residual value is zero….

        The 550Hp Alfa 155 GTA….probably won’t depreciate….or will rise in value….because it is fast, rare, pure emotion…a work of art….

    • It’s not just sound, it’s the “rumble” which includes VIBRATION. What gave cars that “seat of the pants” feel. Can’t be replicated with digital fakery, sorry.

      What’s next, “fake” food? Or even “fake” PEOPLE? As the future Captain Montgomery Scott quipped, “Synthetic Scotch, synthetic (Lt) Commanders”.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVYA3tqdQaE

      • >What’s next, “fake” food?
        We already have that.
        Ever taste a “tomato” sold at a “super”market?
        It might look like a real tomato, but if it doesn’t smell like a tomato, or taste like a tomato, it ain’t a tomato. Grow your own, or buy direct from a real farm, if you wish to eat the real thing.

        >“fake” PEOPLE
        We have those, too, both literally and figuratively.
        Not to get too explicit, but if it doesn’t smell like p*ssy, or taste like p*ssy, it ain’t real p*ssy. Personally, I will only eat the real thing.

      • Actually, yes. Bill Gates is experimenting with fake meat that bleeds fake red “blood” that is not blood. For meat is bad for you, and cows farts are bad for the earth, too! And, the globalists are saying that we WILL eat insects, because they are simply going to stick it in all our food and not tell us, and then laugh as we eat it without knowing about it. Between the sh** in the vaccines and the food-that they also want to lace with messenger rNA, is it any wonder that Americans are overweight, sick, and unable to think?

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