Re-promising The $5k Checks We Already Didn’t Get

Since almost everyone seems to have forgotten Trump’s earlier promise of $5,000 DOGE – does anyone remember DOGE? – rebate checks, Trump last night re-promised them. “If the Republicans win, you win with us and you get $5,000,” he said. He also said “This has been the most successful two years – financially and every other way – in the history of the presidency.” Chudley says amen!

How many will fall for this – again?

Maybe if they play the Lee Greenwood song extra loud.

A new precedent has just been set. It is an old Roman precedent. Caesar – the original one – bought the plebes to win office. It is what Roman would-be leaders did, as routine. They also bought their muscle – the legions – by promising them plunder as well as direct payments, in the form of coin.

Well, Trump just did that, didn’t he?

The difference is Trump has no intention of paying the Chudleys who will fall for it again. Caesar was a more honorable man, chiefly because he – and other Roman leaders – had to be. It was dangerous to not pay off the plebes (and the legions). In America, it isn’t – because the plebes are Chudleys and because the Chudleys are taxed to support the legions, which they do not object to because they love the legions.

Cue the Lee Greenwood song.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. That is, whether the Chudleys really are that “low IQ” – to use a term Trump favors.

Of course, it would be nice if Americans got back even some of the money they’ve been effectively forced to pay at the pump – and the grocery store – on account of Trump’s starting a catastrophically stupid, evil war he can’t figure out how to end (having lost it). By the end of this year, the average American will already have paid around $1,000 more for gas and probably another $2,000 extra at the supermarket, so even if Trump delivers what he’s re-promised (this assumes enough people can be bribed by the lure of a post-election payout) they really aren’t going to get much.

They’re likely to get worse – because if the GOP does manage to not lose control of Congress, it will embolden Trump to try to finish the war he’s already lost, perhaps with ground troops. Possibly with nukes. A GOP win would likely be taken as a mandate by Trump to go full General Turgidson (from Dr. Strangeglove) which – given his AI imagining of himself suited up as a general – isn’t hard to imagine.

If the GOP manages to not lose control of Congress – which seems as likely at this point as the Dirty Old Turtle doing bench presses on live TeeVeee – it will be interesting to observe the coping mechanisms of the Chudleys when their re-promised $5,000 checks fail to appear in the mailbox, again.

How many of Trump’s cheap promises have they already fallen for and – more to the point – how many of these betrayals have they swallowed down and said mmm! mmmm good!? The nebish from Office Space who was promised cake had more dignity than Chudley.

What was it The Chimp said all those years ago?

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.”

Cue the Lee Greenwood song.

Again.

. . .

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