What Clovers Cost Us

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Clovers will say things like, “be patient, slow down; speeding only gets you there a few minutes faster.” What they really mean, of course, is that their time matters while yours does not. They’re in no hurry – so why should you be? They like to “drive 55” (or 65 or  35 whatever it happens to be) and thus, everyone else should, too. It’s why Clovers won’t move over – yield to faster moving traffic.  Often, they deliberately use their vehicle to enforce not just the government’s arbitrary speed limit but their own arbitrary notions as to what the speed of traffic ought to be.

Here’s a video example:

I came upon this Clover – very suddenly – as I rounded a curve on a road with a posted 55 MPH speed limit. I had to brake hard to avoid becoming one with the Clover – who was operating his car at about 35 MPH, or 20 MPH below the posted limit and 30 MPH below the pace of traffic. (Most speed limits are under-posted by 5-10 MPH, relative to the natural flow of traffic.) He never exceed 40 MPH. He slowed down for the curves. Rode his brakes constantly, for no reason. I was stuck behind him for several excruciating miles before he finally turned off.

This was not an antique car incapable of achieving or maintaining road speed. It was a Clover incapable of (or unwilling to) drive in a considerate – and yes, safe – manner.

Drive 20 MPH over the speed limit – and it’s a “reckless driving” cite. But drive 20 (or 30!) MPH under the speed limit – and it’s “be patient.”

Notwithstanding the obvious safety issue presented by such a driver. Better have good brakes – and reflexes.

It comes down to this: Clovers expect to be accommodated – never the reverse. It’s the obligation of others to “be patient,” to “leave a few minutes early” – never theirs to keep up with the speed of traffic or pull off and let traffic get by, if they can’t deal with it.

I got to wondering how much time Clovers cost us. Let’s say 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes again on the return trip home. This is an extremely conservative estimate of time lost to Cloveritic conduct – everything from the Clover  at the head of the line of cars waiting for a 30 second green who doesn’t notice the light’s gone green until it’s been green for 10 of those 30 seconds (leaving you to wait for another cycle) to the Clover who gimps along for 10 miles of no-passing zones at 15-20 MPH below the speed limit, as in the video above. But, let’s say 10 minutes per day, just for the sake of discussion.Clover 1

Leaving out weekend Clovers, this works out almost one hour per week sacrificed to the selfishness of Clovers. Four hours a month – 48 hours, over the course of a year. An entire weekend’s worth of time that probably you could have found a better use for. Clover took it from you.

And you can never get it back.

This is an important point – worth elaborating. Clovers defended the old 55 MPH speed limit – and continue to defend slow-mo driving because it “saves gas.” It never seems to occur to them that, in the first place, it’s not their gas to “save” – unless of course they paid to fill up your tank. If they did not, then the gas is yours – to use as you wish. If you value not losing 10 minutes of your day more than you value burning up the gas you bought a little bit more rapidly – well, so be it.

Only a Cloveritic mind is possessed of the effrontery to announce its intention to control how someone else will use their property.Clover 3

Which brings us back to the issue of  the time lost to Cloverdom. Not even gold can compare with the irreplaceable, non-fungible, non-recoverable value of time. Each moment comes and and goes – and once gone, is gone forever. Time cannot be husbanded and spent later. You can’t “save” it. It must be made good use of right now. It’s the only chance to use it any of us will ever have.

Clovers defraud us of our time – the irreplaceable moments of our lives. For the sake of their dawdling. Because they want to take in the scenery – at our expense. Or because they think no one ought to drive faster than they are driving – and they are going to make damn sure of it.

You have probably had the experience of a Clover frantically flashing his high beams at you – or honking his horn – because you had the temerity (in his view) to pass him. Every now and then, you’ll encounter one who speeds up – to try to prevent you from passing. It’s very revealing, as far as what makes the Clover mind tick. Your passing the Clover caused the Clover no harm. You simply wished to proceed at a pace faster than Clover’s pace. If Clover merely wished to drive at his pace, he should be relieved that you passed him – leaving him to dawdle along. But Clover is not relieved. Clover is angry. Because you dared to assert that your finite, precious time is as precious to you as the Clover’s time is to him. clover kingAnd more, that you’re damn sure not going to just sit there and let Clover waste your time.

When you blast past a Clover, you are reminding him that no man has the right to take another’s property – especially  the most valuable commodity he will ever possess in this life.

His time.

Throw it in the Woods?


  1. Eric!

    May I offer an idea? A new landing page on your website where we ‘clover hunters’ can pin up photos and videos (from our dashcams) with the abundance of clover sightings. Just experienced as ‘massive’ clover behind the wheel. Cutting off the freeway off ramp late, cutting through solid white lined lanes, no turn signals on and on!

    • Hi DipShift,

      I love the idea; the problem is I am a solo pony show and lack any computer (Word Press) powers… I have no clue how to set something something like that up … and can’t afford to pay anyone to set it up….

  2. Eric, I was screaming your name into my dashcam audio last weekend. I headed to a mountain lake travelling over paved (quite narrow, but two lane) forest service roads. 35-40 mph is acceptable (for me). I push those speeds in my ‘exotic’ ( AWD, paddle shifted gear box etc- also known as a Subaru 2.5 prem Outback) Ahead.. an effing clover sighting. Ave speed 20, heavy braking-15 mph into corners, and a conga line of 10-12 cars right behind him for miles. Plenty of turnouts, nope, kept driving. “But wait, there’s more”.

    At a park, there is a kiosk to pay a fee… I could see it coming, he pulls up, no arm stretched out of his car to pay fee, but finally then his arm comes out, takes his parking pass, then reaches out again for cash back, THEN sits in his car for over 30 seconds to get his wallet, out if his ass, put his money away, then drives off. My exchange was faster than a Seb Vettel pitstop. Rant off.

    • Hi Can’tDrive55,

      I felt your pain – today! Got caught behind a motorcycle Clover. Fat old guy on a fat cruiser bike ambling along at between 37 and 42 on a road with a 55 PSL that’s (like most speed limits) under-posted by at least 5 MPH. Luckily, I was on a bike myself and shot by the old fart at 11,000 RPM, which maybe woke him from his torpor!

  3. I am sure this has been posted before and above but here is my observation.

    Clover will do everything to defend “his” right to drive as HE sees fit. Be it 10 MPH below the speed limit, or whatnot.

    This also goes for anyone passing Clover. That is not acceptable.

    Clover owns the road since he pays gas taxes, property taxes, and all the myriad other taxes (probably not, Clovers are leeches and probably don’t even own their own cars… No, they lease.) Any “infringement” of his right to drive is an offense to God himself, whom he does not believe in except when he is being “oppressed” by us.

    How many times have you passed Clover going 10MPH below the speed “limit” and then found out that the mini-van (or any other Clovermobile) can accelerate faster than you expected? Meaning, the Clover has actually used the gas pedal. To prevent a safe pass. By speeding up and preventing the pass. And this is safe? Yes, because Clover owns the road and is helping enforce some esoteric idea of safety. (Maybe “occult idea” is more appropriate, since occult means “hidden.”)

    Or better yet, when you use your judgement and decide Clover has made the pass unsafe now, so you slow down, ending the pass attempt, and then Clover slows down as you do, so that you cannot return to your lane (safely!). Now you not only cannot pass, but cannot even get back into the lane you started from. Defensive driving, and all that hogwash they “teach” in driver’s ed.

    No matter. Clover knows what is best, so deal with it.

    This has happened on numerous occasions to me. Thankfully the last time I had a vehicle with ample power to be able to say “F**K You Clover,” downshift and get the hell out of there.

    Thank you Clover for making the roads less safe in every way.

    If you want a primer on how to piss off a Clover, follow these simple instructions.

    Note, works best with cars that have vastly different performance envelopes, but all you really need is a lead foot when it comes to it.

    Find a nice highway with “reasonable” speed limits (65 or above is ideal), with 2 or more lanes, and find the vehicle going slower than the “limit” in the fast lane(s) (the lanes to the left, or the “passing lanes”).

    Pull in front of vehicle and match the speed. If no tailgating ensues, but clover does not leave the “fast/passing lane”, drop speed by 5MPH. Tailgating will most likely commence at that point. If not, and Clover does not change lanes, drop speed by another 5MPH. Cruise control is a beautiful thing for this.

    If you have a tailgater, you will not lose him. Clover may begin flashing brights, and possibly use the horn. Delicious. Bumper to bumper separation may reduce to inches. Be cautious.

    If you have a Clover who changes lanes at the drop of the speed, just watch. Keep pace. See if Clover speeds up. Probable, but not guaranteed. If so, match speeds. If speeds exceed posted “limit” change lane(s) to provide an example of safe driving.

    Good chance that Clover will return to “fast” lane and resume leisurely drive.

    If so, repeat as needed or you get bored.

    Clovers don’t learn. This is only good for entertaining yourself.

    No statements about the safety of exceeding the speed limit, or any other driving techniques are intended to imply that any laws should be violated.

    Had to put that up there to make sure no one takes this “out of context.”

    Sorry this was long, but thanks for reading!

    Happy driving.

    • One thing to keep in mind is that clovers, largely being authoritarian collectivists, see traffic as a line. Yes, like a bread line. Like a line at the grocery store. Anyone passing is to them ‘cutting in line’. Clovers love lines and queuing.

        • Not sure how insightful, it’s what they write and say frequently. They’ve done it for years in driving forums and such. Most recently the comments on stories of that woman given a ticket for blocking the passing lane had numerous clovers talking about people waiting their turn. That they were cutting in line and so forth. Furthermore they project upon faster drivers a desire to be ‘first in line’.

          What they accuse faster drivers of is telling of their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

          • I encountered a redneck Clover the other day. I had taken the Trans-Am out for its first drive in about six weeks. Heading toward town on US 221, which is a 55 MPH-posted rural highway, I rolled up behind a spavined ’80s-era Chevy Blazer. Partially primered, heavily rusted. Guy is doing 45-ish. Ok, I figure – he’s got an old, tired vehicle. I’m not angry – or crowding him. Just waiting for the opportunity to pass, which comes up about two miles after “first contact.” Open stretch, an actual legal passing zone. So, I ease over into the passing lane and begin to roll by – not WOT and obnoxiously, just passing the guy. What does he do? He guns his piece of shit Blazer and rocks up to 80. So I gunned the TA and passed him obnoxiously – all four barrels of the Q-jet sucking air through the shaker scoop. Now the son of a bitch is riding my ass at 80. Right on my bumper. I swear to god, if this had not been my antique muscle car, I would have brake checked the bastard hard. Things were getting really tense. I was beginning to think it might come down to a fistfight – or worse. Then the inbred edentulitic Clover suddenly turned off.

            I could very easily throw such detritus into the woods and sleep like a baby afterward.

          • Dear Brent, Eric,


            “Safety” is the plausible sounding pretext.

            The real motive is the compulsion to control other people, to force them to do things the way you think they ought to.

          • When did Americans become this way, Eric?

            This mewling, clawing, whining, bitchy enviousness; “I’ll show YOU for trying to get ahead!”

            We used to appreciate success; live and let live, “more power to you”. Admire excellence.

            This is what collectivism does; destroy civilization. It brings out the absolute worst in human nature, tearing down all the noble attributes and fertilizing the basest, ugliest instincts.

          • Methyl, that particular aspect is ghetto behavior. Where doing better socially is being a traitor to one’s own kind.

            The collective acts to pull individuals down.

          • @BrentP–ah, right…I just remembered the 12 monkeys story.

            It’s the fresh monkey being pulled down by the 11 indoctrinated monkeys.

          • Dear Meth,

            “This is what collectivism does; destroy civilization. It brings out the absolute worst in human nature, tearing down all the noble attributes and fertilizing the basest, ugliest instincts.”

            Hear, hear!

            Coercive egalitarian socialists ritually denounce capitalism as rooted in “greed.”

            But what about socialism?

            Socialism is rooted in ENVY — the basest, most unworthy impulse of all.

            The fact is, Gordon Gekko was right. “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works.”


    • Perfect.. several observations. 1.) enroll the tailgater behind you in ‘understeer school’. I used to drive a well handling euro wagon. Purposely go into tight (two lane road) corner in a fortissimo pace, round through the corner, look in my rear view mirrors, and watch that Ford F 150 plow toward the fog line. Never tailgated me after that. 2.) like you, I’ll slow down (when its safe) on the interstate when I get a tailgater, regardless of what speed I drive. It’s ‘fun’ to see how slow you can go before they jerk their head back to their rear mirror to perform a pass. Once past me, I resume my normal speed, and they have driven off at a pace well beyond what they were previously driving.

  4. I do think there is a spreading awakening happening here, at least among “Drudgers” based on some of the comments to this story Drudge picked up.

    Clover gets a ticket for going 63 mph in the left lane of a highway marked for 65 mph.

    Some of the 600 comments:
    I wish they’d give out more tickets to drivers who coast in the left lane blocking traffic and fail or refuse to move right to allow others to pass. It would cut down on some of the road rage.

    Ken Brooks · Lexington Park, Maryland
    This would indeed help with road rage. Maybe it would also help people remember the RIGHT lane is called the through lane and the LEFT lane is called the passing lane for a reason. Use the left lane for PASSING, the right lane for driving through. It is symptomatic of today’s thinking that some people will do whatever they want, and ignore anybody else’s rights or feelings – just because they can.

    R Michael Entinger · Alamogordo, New Mexico
    I believe you are incorrect sir. The left lane is NOT for traveling in. In almost EVERY city (this one included) there are signs that say “Keep right EXCEPT to pass”. That means unless you are passing someone, you are breaking the law. The rest of your comments seem to be centered on attacking anyone who disagrees with your selfish ideals or has an avatar you personally don’t like.

    Michael Soldano
    They should ticket people more often for this. You can’t “cruise” in the passing lane without passing. If you’re not passing, you should move —–>.

    Rich Kelly
    Hey Pedro, who’s the idiot here…let me help you out, it’s the one not obeying the stay right law…idiot

    C.a. Cavanaugh · Fredericksburg, Virginia
    Slower traffic is supposed to stay to the right. She failed to do this.

    Matt Shaffer
    Perhaps you have missed the signs that say “LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY”

    Scott Gross · Channel Competency Manager at Siemens Industry, Inc. – Industrial Automation
    Or “Slower Traffic Keep Right”.

    Chris Bunn
    people want to be a traffic cop. so they “regulate” traffic themselves. this CREATES aggressive driving conditions. THAT is a safety concern. if you want to drive “SAFE”, cool. but, follow the signs. “SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT”.

    Mike Young
    That is so true I have seen people block left lane traffic just for that reason.

    Tom Schilperoort
    Chris Bunn. You, sir, have hit on exactly the reason for most loly-gaggin’ left-laners. They’re self-appointed traffic regulators, and are probably the cause of half the road rage out there on the interstates. MOVE OVER, MORONS !

    Steve Smeltz · Top Commenter · Lancaster, Pennsylvania
    I’ve seen it as well, Mike. Especially coming up to merge points at construction sites.

    Lou Stennes · Top Commenter
    Great! They should post a picture of the ticket with personal info removed and broadcast it everywhere. These folks are very dangerous on a highway and cause cars and trucks to change lanes to get around this dumbas.

    -Clovers Are Being Exposed For Their Psychopathy-

    • Look at all the clovertastic comments on that article. All those people arguing they have every right to block the road because of the allmighty posted speed limit. Which of course is set well below a reasonable flow speed.

  5. I recently had a HILARIOUS encounter with what had to be a member of the Clover royal family. I was driving about 70 in the left lane of I77 and as i rounded a curve I see a white Nissan also traveling about 70. I was driving my 27 year old hot rodded chevy that is very LOUD. This must have offended him as he pumped his brakes down to 45 or 50 and went from lane to lane preventing me from passing. I downshifted and let loose all 450 horses and blew past him as he flashed his lights and layed on his horn. But the best part was when I took my exit and stopped at the first traffic light, he came squealing up beside me and yelled “who do you think you are driving like a madman?” I smiled and reminded him that failure to yield is technically a moving violation. He replied “well….still……f&%k you!” and RAN THE RED LIGHT, almost getting t-boned by a large SUV. When the light turned green I passed him and yelled “nice one mr. safety patrol!”

  6. He slowed down for the curves.

    Hey! In a trick I learned from my father, I accelerate during curves (tight ones, anyway) because it improves handling, and precisely in order to have the margin to do that, I slow down for curves – but in advance, not during.

    • I forgot to tell you: you’d better drive this fast when you’re overtaking cars this way in Germany, because acting like this without a really fast getaway means the drivers you overtook just call the Polizei and you find yourself being pulled over miles down the road and fined for at least 600 euro (price level ten years ago).
      Do I drive this way? No I don’t, but you would expect Germans to pay close attention driving on the Autobahn, which means move over!

  7. Clovers add about 10 minutes to my trips until I can get to my passing zone. Only once has someone sped up when I passed them.

    I don’t see clover post here anymore. Where’d he go? His posts are kinda funny at the cover cam site.

  8. “What they really mean, of course, is that their time matters while yours does not.”

    Well, in my case it isn’t just my time but my fuel and therefore my money. For me to use fifth gear I have to be able to maintain the “double-nickle” at a minimum. Running at 45 – 50, I have gear down and run 500 rpm hotter than I do at 60. At 60 I run around 1600 rpm in fifth and at 50 about 2100 rpm in fourth. So “clover” wastes not only my time, but my fuel (and therefore my frn notes) as well.

    [rant on]And I can’t help but comment on my “favorite clover”, The Waffle. These are the individuals who have no one in front of them for as far as one can see and vacillate between 45 mph and up to 60 mph in a posted 55 mph zone usually with a dozen cars right on their bumper (when the second clover in the pack won’t pass everyone is screwed – consider it a clover cluster f***). Getting in a string of these clovers means constant shifting. I mean really – don’t these bozo’s know how to use a mirror or cruise control?? Usually, some blue-hair (and I’m not too far from the blue-hair state myself) or a fat broad in a mini-van. [rant off]

    • Let me ask if you’ve run into one of these yet. Picture your average slow-witted, doe-eyed, cloverish individual who just got himself a brand-spanking-new BMW 650 with all the options. What’s the first thing he does when he gets out on the interstate? That’s right, he sits in the hammer lane, letting the radar cruise control do all the work for him, easing the strain on his poor, tired brainstem, and allowing for other leisurely pursuits such as yammering on the phone or texting out his masters’ thesis. All the while, he is leading a mile-long parade of other drivers, all of whom are trying to get past him and into the mile-long gap of empty road ahead of him.

      I figured out what was going on when I passed him and slid over right in front of him. Oddly enough, instead of honking, flashing headlights, or tailgating me as the indignance of a wounded sense of entitlement would surely demand, I watched as his car gently faded back to a distance of several car-lengths. My curiosity piqued, I moved to the center lane and saw him slowly pick up speed until he was about a car-length behind me and I swept over in front of him again. Again, back to the preset distance of several car-lengths with no reaction at all. Interesting.

      I grew bored with this game after a few more rounds, coincidentally when my exit appeared up ahead. Still, the Flying Dutchman (Deutsche-man?) sailed on.

      In neighborhoods that have a ridiculously under-posted speed limit as well as having stop signs scattered about like a bad case of octagonal herpes, you may have had the extreme misfortune to be trapped behind one of these: The especially irritating type who will rigidly obey the speed limit, up to the point of going a few under, but at the same time, they will roll right through a stop sign. I don’t know about you folks, but I guess I have my choice of habitual violations ass-backwards. Instead of having gotten all those pieces of payin’ paper for constantly going over the arbitrary number like some demented game of highway ‘Price is Right’, if I had just redirected that habit into blowing through stop signs, I’d have several thousand dollars extra burning a hole in my pocket.

      • Because of being selectively enforced upon I will be the one rigidly following the absurdly low speed limit… but then again, I also did today, with all the snow…

        The clovers largely stayed home today so driving in the snow was actually a little fun.

          • Depending on circumstances (usually when I’m doing five-plus miles over the posted limit in the far right lane and some asshole is stilltailgating me) I sometimes do so just to prove the point that the arbitrarily-set limit is ridiculously low.

          • I do get some relief now with my sedan. It’s invisible. I can drive it over the limit like everyone else on surface streets largely without fear. My other cars, limited access highways only. Although my newest one doesn’t get much attention. Probably because it’s new.

            I just got tired of being hassled. I would rarely get tickets. Just pulled over, papers checked, hassled. Jedi mind tricks usually worked. It isn’t me or how I drive but what I drive that mattered. It’s all profile. Once pulled over and they found I didn’t fit the profile for the droids they were looking for it just depended upon the cops’ need to make performance objectives or not that determined if I got a ticket.

            I slowly eased into it, but when the cops pulling me over started doing things more suited for occupation of the territories, acted like gangsters, and the PTSD roid rage cop that is the reason I run a camera, I had enough. Every interaction with these people was a threat to my life. I still didn’t get tickets from these cops, but they were getting rather scary so I just cannot afford to interact with them. That’s how life changing events happen.

      • “Let me ask if you’ve run into one of these yet. Picture your average slow-witted, doe-eyed, cloverish individual who just got himself a brand-spanking-new BMW 650 with all the options.”

        This guy drives me to spittle-spewing fury – then depressed resignation.

        Every day, I encounter one – a guy (or gal) in a new or nearly new high-powered, high-end car… that’s barely keeping up with traffic. Which will accelerate from a light no faster than the car in the next lane, creating a rolling roadblock. Which can’t hold its lane in a curve, performing sweeping arcs across the white line onto the shoulder, then half a car width across the double yellow… while never exceeding the speed limit and usually going slower.

        I am convinced these people buy the car for the status and never use even 60 percent of the car’s capabilities. Most of these dopes would never notice if the 400 HP V-8 (or 300 hp V-6) were replaced with a K-car four, provided it was quiet enough.

        • My ex-girlfriend worked at a VERY high-end retirement home and I will never forget the man with a brand new Mercedes CL65 AMG who bragged that he has NEVER driven it faster than 40 MPH!!!! I almost threw up. 600hp V12 and it may as well have been a Prius.

          • Did I ever tell the story of the aston martin vantage I out accelerated with…. my bicycle? Yeah, no excuse for that one. I encountered that same guy when driving my maverick…. I out handled him.

            • I believe you!

              Because I routinely run away from new/nearly new performance (especially luxury-performance) cars in my 15-year-old, four-cylinder truck with 130k-plus on the clock. They get up to speed more quickly – “speed” being just barely the speed limit. But then I pass them. And few even try to keep up in the curves – and I’m not talking Nurburgring speeds/Gs here, either. I’m talking about taking curves posted at a granny-friendly 35 MPH at 50.

              That’s enough to lose 95 percent of them.

          • Yup – seen that (or very similar).

            I think it is a function of the expense of these cars. The typical owner is older – old, in fact (Ben Affleck, etc., is the exception – not the rule). Maybe Dan Gurney and Bob Bondurant continued to feel the need for speed after age 60 – but in general, most people that age appear to have lost it. They like the idea of a fast (and expensive) car. But to them – and to most Americans – that means a furtive run up to 90 MPH or so on the highway every once in a while.

            A Camry would be more than sufficient.

            I’d love to see telemetry from every car sold within the past decade that had/has the capability to exceed 150 MPH. I would bet not 5 percent have ever seen the far side of 120.

            A Prius can almost do that.

            I know – because I have done that!

        • eric, “I am convinced these people buy the car for the status and never use even 60 percent of the car’s capabilities.”

          Of course they buy it for the status. It is just like those status seeking DINKs who bought Hummers but never drove them off road.

          Or the Harley owners who only ride once or twice a summer but just want to be able to say they have a Harley.

          People are free to do what they want with their own money but I do not know who they think they are impressing.

          • America is afflicted with poseurism, a cousin of Cloverism – or subsidiary and related condition. It’s the triumph of Edward Bernaise (sp?) and cradle-to-grave Mad Men-style marketing. You must look a certain way, live in a certain kind of house, drive a particular kind of car – this constitutes your identity, your self. But you are hollow inside. An empty suit. A debt-slave to a McHome and living someone else’s conception of your McLife.

          • The worst Clovers, in my experience, are the ones driving new/late model SmmoooooVeeeees or AWD “crossovers.” They buy them because they love how “safe” they are. But they have no clue how to use their capabilities, or just don’t care to.

        • “I am convinced these people buy the car for the status and never use even 60 percent of the car’s capabilities.”

          Speaking of.. reminds me of Audi’s early 90s internet ads. (Following BMWs Guy Richie ads.) ‘Meet the Beckers’


    • In re “the waffle” Clover – amen!

      I deal with them regularly. The repetitive slowing and picking up of speed for no reason at all (beyond the Clover’s inability to drive smoothly) is enraging.

      As each new generation of dumbed-down drivers enters the mix, the quality of the average driver falls lower and lower.

      Idiocracy on wheels!

    • I feel yo’ pain, 3D. In my aging PT cruiser 5 speed, a cruising set for maximum fuel efficiency is 2500 rpm. That’s 35 in 3rd, 50 in 4th and 65 in 5th. These goobers who can’t hold a steady speed and won’t allow passing just burn my gas to no good effect.

      The local Porky loves to write tickets for speeding, but they are oblivious to dangerous passive/aggressive drivers. This is a farming county which means we have loads of old, overmedicated subsidized farmers driving new pickup trucks at 40 mph on all the main 2 lanes. The 2 lanes have had all the passing zones eliminated for maximum revenue enhancement, apparently.

      • “This is a farming county which means we have loads of old, overmedicated subsidized farmers driving new pickup trucks at 40 mph on all the main 2 lanes. ”

        Christ, Ed – you too?

        I thought that species of Clover only grew here!

        • Lord no, eric. Anywhere the farm subsidies land, you’ll find Pawpaw in his 2013 F350 dually, blitzed on his meds, hogging the centerline on the county’s main 2 lane blacktop.

          He’ll likely have a Tea Party tag on his truck, too. Those imbeciles got together and inflicted a fat old retired State Trooper on us as sheriff. The first thing he did was order some cool new Chargers for chase cars and hire several young skinhead deputies to turn the county into a speed trap.

          He’s the darling of Pawpaw and the TP’ers. We have the new deputy skinheads in all the public schools as ‘resource officers’ (say what?), making drug busts, which is another of sheriff Trooper’s main agenda items.

          Livin’ in the sticks ain’t what it usta be.

  9. This seems like a good place to bring up two things I have found to be true and are repeats for the regulars.

    The clover has no patience for those slower than him. I have found this out from many years of bicycling. On occasion clovers will accelerate so slowly it is painful for me to remain behind them on a bicycle. So after the entire left lane has cleared, I would move into the left lane and pass them. This is perfectly legal. A bicyclist may use the left lane if he is passing traffic to his right. In each case where I did not quickly turn from the road the clover became angry to one degree or another. One tried to crush against the curb, one tried to run me off the road, others just screamed and/or threatened me with their vehicles.

    But that’s not all. Clovers also pass me when I am bicycling and then slow down to make me slow. These clovers also become enraged should I make any gesture or voice any objection to their behavior. If I try to pass they will move to block the pass or act as those I described in the previous paragraph.

    As to speed limits and driving. Clovers cost us far more than a few minutes here or there. They are responsible for a great deal of congestion. A limited access high way has two flow rates, the number of vehicles entering and the number leaving. So long as qout equals or exceeds qin the road is fine. But, clovers, in their low speed driving and lack of lane discipline reduce the rate of qout. Others who obey the underposted speed limits keep qout lower than it should be as well. When it falls below qin the road starts filling up. When it’s full, it’s a bumper to bumper crawl.

    Now some of course would happen even with out the low speed limits or clovers, but there would be less of it. It would start later and end sooner every day.

    Today it is snowing where I live. Thanks to the needless fearmongering about snow in the media these days vast numbers of clovers stayed home. Probably vast numbers of people sick of dealing with clovers as well. How can I tell? I am driving somewhere different than I normally would, today’s traffic is what it used to be… 15 years ago. I haven’t see this route this unpopulated in the morning and afternoon commute times in ages. So all I had to do was deal with the snow coming home for the most part. It’s much more pleasant to deal with snow, to deal with nature, than it is with clovers.

    • Oh yes, I love snow days for that very reason, BrentP. [Plus, it’s fun to drive in the snow!]

      Pushy and Shovey (cousins of clover) don’t go into the stores much then either and the shopping is a much better experience.

      Also, BrentP’s example of bike ridding in traffic is why I ride mine on the sidewalks much of the time.

      “One tried to crush against the curb, one tried to run me off the road, others just screamed and/or threatened me with their vehicles.” <- That_is_just_nuts!

      • side walk riding has so many near misses. I even read the crash type manual and found it is the most dangerous riding. However it does avoid the angry drivers.

        I don’t pass the clovers any more unless I am turning so they won’t catch back up. But I still have the ones that pass me and slow down to teach me a lesson for using their road or something….

    • Dear Brent,

      “The clover has no patience for those slower than him. I have found this out from many years of bicycling.”

      As a life-long cyclist, I’ve had the same experience.

      Shows you that the clovers’ real concern isn’t “Everyone must obey the same rules!” Their real concern is that everyone obey them.

      Clovers prattle on about how champions of the free market are “selfish.”

      Actually clovers are the living embodiment of undiluted selfishness.

  10. Man, Oregon must be Clover-central. The posted limit on most roads is 45, but I’m lucky if I can get my van up to 40. Everyone here drives 5-15 below the limit. Everyone. It drives me insane.

    The absolute worst are the motherf**kers who drive 15 under through a no-passing zone, then speed up when you hit the passing lane, they punch it. Them, and the pricks who pace even with the car in the right lane. It’s not only rude and fascistic, it’s very dangerous.

    • Ghost: amen for posting this. It happens to me DAILY. People are so oblivious when they are driving. I drove past a clover looking at 3 different pieces of paper, while driving 40 mph in the PASSING lane. The morons who box you in, speed up, name it, I get them ALL!!

  11. Clovers cost us well over half our lives.
    Majoritarian slavery to Clover Consensus prevents peaceful enjoyment of the small remainder of our time we retain.

    Make a list and tally up all the time lost due to Clovers and their zonings and their laws:

    We can’t grow crops and keep animals on our own land.
    We can’t extract minerals and energy from our own land.
    We can’t practice our trades in our own neighborhoods.
    We can’t socialize and celebrate in our own neighborhoods.
    We can’t buy and sell goods in our own neighborhoods.
    We can’t care for and instruct our children in our own homes.
    We can’t treat and care for our own sick in our neighborhoods.
    We can’t settle our own disputes.
    We can’t build and maintain our own utilities and improvements.
    We can’t determine our own criteria for neighborhood residency.
    We can’t determine what property is allowable on our own land.

    We are forced to buy and fuel expensive vehicles driven long distances on expensive roads to superfluous and unwanted giant warehouses owned by a master class we are forced to patronize and transact with.

    We are forced to pay exorbitant prices for minerals, fuel, food and animal products.

    We are gouged by countless middlemen and offered few or no choices as to who we purchase goods and services from and what they charge.

    We are forced from our neighborhoods to eat, to drink, to socialize, and to enjoy entertainment.

    We are forced to pay for roads that carry us to unnecessarily far away locales to do things we’d rather do close by. We’re forced to carry insurance to do this traveling. We’re forced to pay a predator class of hunters and robbers who accost us and make a gauntlet out of these roads we are forced to pay for.

    We are forced to pay for public indoctrination building and instructors. We have no authority over these things that we are forced to pay for.

    We are forced to pay outrageous markups to lawyers and judges who are unaccountable to us. We’re forced to pay for their buildings as well.

    We are restricted to using grossly overpaid and underqualified strangers who provide us with healthcare. We pay for their institutions of learning. We pay for the scientific advances they profit from. We pay for their hospitals. Yet they are wholly unaccountable to us in anyway. We are forced to buy outrageously expensive insurance which covers very little in case we try to use these things we’ve already paid for.

    We are forced to travel long distances to work under corporate taskmasters.

    We are told we must allow any and all people to live among us, no matter how objectionable we find them to be. Even if they are rank violent savages and thieves with no respect for private property and civility whatsoever. Even if these people openly proclaim they wish to harm us or that they want us dead.

    We are told what we can and cannot have on our own property and persons. We are told exactly how what we are permitted to have must be used, and labeled, and what characteristics it must have. We are made to pay for all manner of brutal overlords who beat us and steal from us at our whim.

    We are forced to pay for jailers, and keepers, and surveillors. We are forced to pay for administrators, and evaluators, and planners, and spies, and restrainers.

    We are forced to send money to bring this inhuman treatment to the entire world. To be responsible for the tyranny and subjugation of all seven billion current humans and any new humans as yet unborn, for all of eternity and in perpetuity.

    In short, Clovers have cost us nearly everything, and will never rest until they have taken all, and control all.

    • Don’t forget all of ‘our’ troops so valiantly fighting to preserve all of this ‘freedom’ we have.

      Ain’t it wonderful?

      • We are forbidden to procure or construct weapons to defend our lives, liberty, and property.
        We are forbidden to act as our own protection agents or to hire specialists to defend our lives, liberty, or property.

        We are forced into permanent debt to pay for standing armies and expensive weaponry that has never once been used for our own benefit.
        We are forced to develop and buy superfluous and unwanted weapons systems that serve only to enrich government and cronies of government, governments and cronies we never wanted anything to do with in the first place.

    • That sums up the depressing nature of this Clover society we live in and makes me think of the scenario presaged by O’Brien during the torture scenes in ‘1984’ – how the Party won’t accept anything less than the complete eradication of free will, individuality and empathy, along the complete control of all thought, speech and action; a world in which people constantly spy on one another and the only permissible emotions are reverence towards the Party and the lust that comes from exerting authority over others. A stifling, oppressive world of coercion and surveillance, where concepts of individuality and freedom are seen as lunacy and heresy that must be stamped out.

      ‘Everything will be dead inside you. Never again will you be capable of love, or friendship, or joy of living, or laughter, or curiosity, or courage, or integrity. You will be hollow. We shall squeeze you empty, and then we shall fill you with ourselves.’

      • Yes–and THAT’S why we should revel in all those things every day–it drives the psychopaths frothing mad with rage!

        Love your friends, cuddle your kids, play with your puppies, feed your bird papaya. Pay a nice complement to the schlub bagging your groceries. Read a sci-fi novel and actually BELIEVE we’ll reach the stars.

        Break several meaningless “laws” on your way to work while exercising your good judgement; then revel in that, too!

        I think we’re going to win this thing. I also think it’s going to be hellish for a while.

        But here’s how we’re going to win–we’re going to out-live the psychopath PTB…and by “out-live”, I mean one way, and/or the other; chronologically or with joie de vivre.

        Fuck their sour countenances, their dead-eyed reptilian stares; their miserly cuntliness and the dried miseries between their flabby legs. I mean, LOOK at them! Kissinger. Clinton-female-thing. Feinstein. Reid. Pelosi.

        They’re a JOKE, guys! They have as much vitality as a caved-in Halloween pumpkin on a December porch.

        How can we possibly fall to these people? We WON’T. Even if we die in the not-falling, we’ll out-live them.

        Ya’know, I was at the range teaching my wife how to use an AR on Sunday*. But just for sheer joy, I believe I’ll go again this weekend and bring a friend who’s been wanting to learn…to share the joy.

        * Do NOT do this, men. Having never shot a rifle in her life, she put twenty rounds in a six inch circle at fifty yards through iron sights. I now know how fast, and how far, I have to run if I piss her off one day. Dumbest training I ever did.

        • Dear meth,

          “* Do NOT do this, men. Having never shot a rifle in her life, she put twenty rounds in a six inch circle at fifty yards through iron sights. I now know how fast, and how far, I have to run if I piss her off one day. Dumbest training I ever did.”


          She may well save your life when Armageddon rolls around.

          You did the right thing.

          Having said that, you must now learn to become a more sensitive man. If you know what’s good for you.


        • meth, “Break several meaningless “laws” on your way to work while exercising your good judgement; then revel in that, too!”

          That is my hobby – ignoring as many idiot regulations and petty laws as I can whenever I can. And it is a hobby the whole family can enjoy!

        • ” I mean, LOOK at them! Kissinger. Clinton-female-thing. Feinstein. Reid. Pelosi”

          Exactly,methylamine. That’s how I see it. I simplylet these turds be the ugly, hateful turds that they are. In the end, I get to be me and they’re stuck with being who they are.

          Fuck’em and feed’em fish heads.

    • I recently had a debate with some folks on GMO. Two argued that if I didn’t like it and the FDA regulations that hid it from me that I should just grow my own food. When I mentioned the zoning laws that made it illegal for me to grow food on that scale or keep animals they told me I was just making excuses for being lazy. No recognition of how the government stands in the way of new food businesses especially those that do not use the industrial processes either.

      This attitude is quite common among the control freak set, a refusal to even recognize the alternative of do-it-yourself has already been made illegal. Not that the illegality of a natural right would stop me for something I could hide, but growing crops on all one’s available land isn’t something that could be hidden. Nor is growing it one’s basement thanks to electric consumption monitoring for the war on some drugs. Although I do find some humor in being raided for tomato plants.

      On one side of the argument they argue that if we want to escape their edicts we should suffer a breakdown of the division of labor while on the other hand making it illegal for us to do exactly that.

      • DEFY them Brent. We do. Nine fruit trees just in the front yard, with sweet potatoes and melons on the lawn.

        Don’t like it? Don’t look in my yard. It’s MINE you fuckers!

        I’ve turned a new leaf, guys: it’s time for open defiance, and it’s even better if you can do it with a smile and a hearty laugh.

        Laugh at them while you defy them. I’m not advocating going to jail, that sucks and it’s a waste of a good libertarian.

        But defy them in every small and large way you can without wasting yourself before the big fight…and the big fight may never have to happen.

        De-legitimize the State; and remember the one thing a psychopath cannot stand is being ridiculed.

        • I’ve tried… I’ve just failed to get stuff to grow. Plus the way I have things I can’t tend plants daily which is an issue too. If I make a change in my realestate situation I’ll make a stronger attempt at it.

          I also like using the law as an argument with those who demand people follow the law.

          • The trick is to find out what grows in your area. I’ve been gardening a few years, and tried all the things I like; now I’ve discovered that subset of things I like and that work in my area.

            Once you find them, they’re like weeds. Fig trees, for instance, LOVE Houston; ditto citrus. Vegetables seem to thrive differently block-to-block, they can be very finicky.

            Don’t fight it; just ask around and go with what grows.

        • “De-legitimize the State; and remember the one thing a psychopath cannot stand is being ridiculed.”

          Oh, lawdy, there is something I’m just itching to post here but for obvious reasons, I can’t. But, let’s just say I amen your statement, in theory and practice!

          • Oh no, you cannot do that Eric!

            Perhaps you can think of something similar a friend did, and post what your friend did?

            That way you can keep your anecdote private while allowing us to enjoy a friend’s similar experience.

        • “De-legitimize the State; and remember the one thing a psychopath cannot stand is being ridiculed.”

          I have found that subtle mockery and simply just not taking their authoritah! seriously are the best ways to ridicule the swine.

          Be lighthearted while ignoring their “command presence” and act like they do not exist. Always remember you are smarter and more moral than they are. Put them in their place by always going to a higher place yourself.

          • I wonder how “not-so-subtle” mockery would go over.

            One of my recurring fantasies is to lead a carnival parade that features donut-juggling clowns in front of a swine funeral.

          • liberranter, I have been toying with the idea of disrupting one of those cop funerals – you know, the ones that shut down traffic for hours and makes the evening news ad nauseum about how one of the city’s finest has fallen. But I have not been able to come up with a successful plan yet. Any ideas everyone?

          • @skunkbear:

            Depends. With or without being tazered/beaten/shot?

            Just a good old-fashioned mooning comes to mind but risks all three of the above.

            How about arranging with a dozen like-minded people to do a fake crying, screaming, rending of the clothes act–like the North Koreans did for Dear Leader when He died? Three days of that crap–and a severe jail sentence if you weren’t sufficiently heart-broken.

            They can’t punish you for being TOO sad about a Fallen Exalted One, can they?

          • Dear meth,

            Over the top, chewing the scenery “grieving” that the clover cops can’t prove isn’t utterly sincere.


            After all, if we’re going to emulate North Korea, we might as well go all the way.

          • meth, “How about arranging with a dozen like-minded people to do a fake crying, screaming, rending of the clothes act–like the North Koreans did for Dear Leader when He died?”

            Now that is what I am talking about – something that is obviously a barb yet cannot be prosecuted. Acting oh-so-scared to sleep at night because officer porky is no longer there to keep me safe. Oh what is a poor mundane to do?

            • “How about arranging with a dozen like-minded people to do a fake crying, screaming, rending of the clothes act–like the North Koreans did for Dear Leader when He died?”

              Guys – this is genius!

              I’m in, if anyone wants to organize such an event!

          • What I did was to flip the bird to several who were standing at ‘attention’ in their black BDUs. They pretended not to see me, but then, they were ambulance attendants.

            Cops may have chased me down and shot me, who knows?

      • No, Gil –

        It is this: Assert the moral-ethical illegitimacy of all non-defensive violence. Assert the moral-ethical legitimacy of self-ownership and all it implies and that flows from it.

          • Not biting, Clover.

            Your awkward, fumbling attempts to egg people on – to get them to make violent, actionable statements – aren’t getting much traction.

            Getting people to think… working to de-legitimize the cult of violence that is Cloverism .. that’s hardly “doing nothing.”

          • Talk about metaphors:

            A doctor might tell a patient with cancer to undergo destructive chemo and consume deadly pharmaceutical drugs which do more harm than good, this is the clovarian position.

            The patient might decide to stop consuming sugar (which is likely toxic) avoid carbohydrates, nitrates and other additives, while opting for other truly beneficial solutions.

            The clovers of the world would scoff at that and call it “doing nothing” while aiding and abetting things such as:

            The Day the FDA Took a Cancer Cure Away

            Or worse, a clover would turn a blind eye to the truth even going so far as to assist in hiding the truth from The People:

            Are Cancer Cures Being Hidden From the Public?

            Clovers have a real twisted mind.
            I pity them.

          • “A.k.a. do nothing and hope the cancer will dissipate with time. Whatever”

            Genius idea, Gil. Maybe you can demonstrate it for us. When you die, I promise not to laugh.

            • “Gil” is almost certainly a government shill. His clear intent is to goad people into leaving posts urging violent lashing out – in order to de-legitimize what we’re trying to do here (at the least) and also, very possibly, establish the pretext necessary for the government to take action against this web site due to its “extremist” and “violent” members, etc.

              He’s a loser – and no one’s falling for it.

          • ““Gil” is almost certainly a government shill.”

            Yep. I know it. You remember when the Chimp was emperor? Back then all the trolls were more likely to be heteros. With the Kenyan as emperor, the trolls are mostly queers like ol’ Gil.

            These queer trolls hired by Bama’s little crew are way funnier than the internet tough-guy trolls that W’s gang used to hire. FR was the training ground for the Chimp’s trolltards. DU is the sandbox for Bama’s little simps. They’re as stupid as the ones who worked for W, but funnier.

            Gil can kiss my ass, if he can reach it.

          • I just caught this:

            “These queer trolls hired by Bama’s little crew are way funnier than the internet tough-guy trolls that W’s gang used to hire.”

            Too funny!

    • Dear Tor,

      Yes, but…

      If tomorrow all the things were gone,
      I’d worked for all my life.
      And I had to start again,
      with just my children and my wife.

      I’d thank my lucky stars,
      to be livin’ here today.
      ‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
      and they can’t take that away.

      And I’m proud to be an American,
      where at least I know I’m free.
      And I wont forget the men who died,
      who gave that right to me.

      And I gladly stand up,
      next to you and defend her still today.
      ‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
      God bless the USA.


      • “‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
        and they can’t take that away..”

        Ah yes. The Tea Party national anthem. I cracked up the first time I heard that retarded song.

        • Dear Ed,

          How anybody can sing that song in 2013 with a straight face is beyond me.

          Country music songwriter Lee Greenwood wrote the lyrics in 1984. Yup, 1984. How’s that for irony?

          By then it was already way too late for words like that.

          • “How anybody can sing that song in 2013 with a straight face is beyond me.”

            Me too, Bevin. ‘Course maybe it depends on what you mean by ‘straight face’. ahaha

            I remember when the song came out in the 80s. I laughed at it then, and I now laugh at the deluded assholes who think it’s a GREAT SONG.

            The whole phony assed patriot thing has always been comical to me.

        • Oh why did you have to bring up The Oprah?! Truly THE icon of the dolt breed who walk among us.

          But I have to disagree with the “welfare Moms and deadbeat Dads” thing.

          It was idiot middle-class soccer mom White women who put the bazillions of dollars into that salespig’s bank account. (Love the salespig tag, btw).

          Someone else here posted it best with something along the lines of The Oprah being every White soccer mom’s “imaginary best Black friend”.

  12. This is dead on. I lose so much time to clover drivers. I run into them every morning, and 5 minutes one way is a good estimate. And that’s only on 20 minutes of driving!

    I’ve had the speed up guy. I was coming home late from a football game, and the guy in front of me was going 35 in a 55. So I said screw this- and tried to pass him. He spend up to 70!!! What an idiot.

    • “carrying a firearm means giving up the luxury to be angry.” – something I read at teamgunblogger.com

      So, what do you do to not get angry with clover at times like these?

      Myself, I make a game of it. If they irk me, they get points.
      I don’t give out points. Pretty simple game.
      I tell others: don’t let them get the satifaction of gaining points. I often get a puzzled or “forget that” look for suggesting that one.

      Or, if there’s two clovers involved, you know, side-by-side. Then I play a song in my head, “When clovers meet in the night. Ships passing… blah blah blah.” and then I try to laugh.

      …Or, “Red clover, red clover, just move the hell over.” Followed by, “Some-day, over the rain, er over the next hill?”

      If that fails, I try to imagine it’s not clover-like driving rather it’s John Gault having a really bad day, cut ’em some slack. … That almost never works for my better half, but it works for me,… sometimes.

      • One can out-clover the clover. If he aggressively forces you to drive 30 in a 55, get ahead of him when you get a chance and slow to 25. Be safer than safe!

        For anger management, I use this Queen song:

        Snowball Gets Down 2 – Another One Bites The Dust

        !!!Machine Guns Ready To Go!!!

        • You just sent me down a 20 minute YouTube hole watching that amazing bird!

          We have a small Quaker parrot who loves music too…those creatures are utterly amazing. I don’t know how they do so much with such a small brain.

          • meth,

            Where IS consciousness? The extant theory for a very long time has been that consciousness IS IN our brains. Yet, “science” cannot locate it, or even DEFINE it, really. The field theories of modern physics include the postulate that consciousness exists within a field that is similar to the fields of gravitation, electromagetism (including “radio”) and such, and that our “brains” are simply receivers, like organic radios. I like the idea, and if the postulate actually describes reality, these amazing birds’ receivers might be small, but they work well enough to give them consciousness beyond what consiousness-within-brain would expect. Reductionist/Materialist science cannot explain to any degree the miracle of consciousness.

            So: I’d say Snowball and your Quaker parrot are just connected to the field of consciousness. Little radio, but amazing abilities.

          • @JuatnMatus:

            That is an excellent explanation…and very much along the lines of what I’ve been thinking lately, that the whole neurons-axons-chemicals-make-us-human is crap.

            There is NO WAY the brain is a deterministic computer…and evidence (search the site for posts on Penrose) is piling up that consciousness is a quantum field.

            Love your idea that they’re a better “receiver”!

          • Dear meth,

            “I don’t know how they do so much with such a small brain.”

            Conversely, I don’t know how clovers and sheeple do so little with such a large brain.

      • To not get annoyed, I have to imagine that there is no person in the car, that it’s a rolling object. You can’t be mad at an inanimate object. So,for me it’s a video game and the point is to get as far away from the rolling obstructions as possible. 😉

        • I hear you. What I do is force myself to stay back a few car lengths and then surprise pass at the first opportunity, double yellows or not. I’m going! I even turn my clover cam on for when I get a ticket I can show the judge the whole damn thing.

          • The problem is the judge is going to likely be a clover or the kind of person who knows that cloverism his a key part of how he makes a living.


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