Clovers will say things like, “be patient, slow down; speeding only gets you there a few minutes faster.” What they really mean, of course, is that their time matters while yours does not. They’re in no hurry – so why should you be? They like to “drive 55” (or 65 or 35 whatever it happens to be) and thus, everyone else should, too. It’s why Clovers won’t move over – yield to faster moving traffic. Often, they deliberately use their vehicle to enforce not just the government’s arbitrary speed limit but their own arbitrary notions as to what the speed of traffic ought to be.
Here’s a video example:
I came upon this Clover – very suddenly – as I rounded a curve on a road with a posted 55 MPH speed limit. I had to brake hard to avoid becoming one with the Clover – who was operating his car at about 35 MPH, or 20 MPH below the posted limit and 30 MPH below the pace of traffic. (Most speed limits are under-posted by 5-10 MPH, relative to the natural flow of traffic.) He never exceed 40 MPH. He slowed down for the curves. Rode his brakes constantly, for no reason. I was stuck behind him for several excruciating miles before he finally turned off.
This was not an antique car incapable of achieving or maintaining road speed. It was a Clover incapable of (or unwilling to) drive in a considerate – and yes, safe – manner.
Drive 20 MPH over the speed limit – and it’s a “reckless driving” cite. But drive 20 (or 30!) MPH under the speed limit – and it’s “be patient.”
Notwithstanding the obvious safety issue presented by such a driver. Better have good brakes – and reflexes.
It comes down to this: Clovers expect to be accommodated – never the reverse. It’s the obligation of others to “be patient,” to “leave a few minutes early” – never theirs to keep up with the speed of traffic or pull off and let traffic get by, if they can’t deal with it.
I got to wondering how much time Clovers cost us. Let’s say 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes again on the return trip home. This is an extremely conservative estimate of time lost to Cloveritic conduct – everything from the Clover at the head of the line of cars waiting for a 30 second green who doesn’t notice the light’s gone green until it’s been green for 10 of those 30 seconds (leaving you to wait for another cycle) to the Clover who gimps along for 10 miles of no-passing zones at 15-20 MPH below the speed limit, as in the video above. But, let’s say 10 minutes per day, just for the sake of discussion.
Leaving out weekend Clovers, this works out almost one hour per week sacrificed to the selfishness of Clovers. Four hours a month – 48 hours, over the course of a year. An entire weekend’s worth of time that probably you could have found a better use for. Clover took it from you.
And you can never get it back.
This is an important point – worth elaborating. Clovers defended the old 55 MPH speed limit – and continue to defend slow-mo driving because it “saves gas.” It never seems to occur to them that, in the first place, it’s not their gas to “save” – unless of course they paid to fill up your tank. If they did not, then the gas is yours – to use as you wish. If you value not losing 10 minutes of your day more than you value burning up the gas you bought a little bit more rapidly – well, so be it.
Which brings us back to the issue of the time lost to Cloverdom. Not even gold can compare with the irreplaceable, non-fungible, non-recoverable value of time. Each moment comes and and goes – and once gone, is gone forever. Time cannot be husbanded and spent later. You can’t “save” it. It must be made good use of right now. It’s the only chance to use it any of us will ever have.
Clovers defraud us of our time – the irreplaceable moments of our lives. For the sake of their dawdling. Because they want to take in the scenery – at our expense. Or because they think no one ought to drive faster than they are driving – and they are going to make damn sure of it.
You have probably had the experience of a Clover frantically flashing his high beams at you – or honking his horn – because you had the temerity (in his view) to pass him. Every now and then, you’ll encounter one who speeds up – to try to prevent you from passing. It’s very revealing, as far as what makes the Clover mind tick. Your passing the Clover caused the Clover no harm. You simply wished to proceed at a pace faster than Clover’s pace. If Clover merely wished to drive at his pace, he should be relieved that you passed him – leaving him to dawdle along. But Clover is not relieved. Clover is angry. Because you dared to assert that your finite, precious time is as precious to you as the Clover’s time is to him. And more, that you’re damn sure not going to just sit there and let Clover waste your time.
When you blast past a Clover, you are reminding him that no man has the right to take another’s property – especially the most valuable commodity he will ever possess in this life.
Throw it in the Woods?