Clover Can’t Stay In His Lane

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Another day, another Clover. clover lead

Here’s one who can’t manage the challenge of keeping his car in his lane. He swerves wide onto the shoulder – god help any pedestrians or bicyclists who happen to be in his way. And then swings wide the opposite way, crossing over the double yellow into the path of oncoming traffic.

I see Clovers of this variety almost every day. Is it really that hard to keep your car in its lane? Or are they just too busy chirping/tweeting (or choking the chicken)?

Of course, they’re not considered “impaired.” And this isn’t “reckless” driving.

But doing more than 20 over is (legally/technically) even if you keep your car in between the lines – and under control – at all times.

So long as you’re sober, it’s ok to weave and wander.

Or so says Clover.

For more videos of cretinous Clovers, see   … also, we welcome your Clover videos. Send ’em in and we’ll publish them – and (hopefully) shame some Clovers along the way.

clover lead


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  1. Our road is quite twisty and I observe this behavior on a regular basis. In fact the problem is so bad that the DOT used that grinder-thingy that cuts “notches” into the center of the road so people will hopefully notice when they’re taking their half out of the middle. I’ve been towing my utility trailer (6.5′ x 14′), loaded with my tractor, following a CTS at about 5 over the limit. The CTS used both 3′ of the opposing lane on every left-hand bend and 3′ of the shoulder on every right-hand bend. Meanwhile, I maintained the same speed, in my Jeep, towing a trailer wider than his car, all the while staying in the lane. Simply no excuse.

    You can constantly hear the cars come around the bend at the corner of our property using part of the opposing lane. Thump-thump-thump-thump. Occasionally somebody like me takes offense to meeting them halfway through the corner, in their lane, and lays on the horn.

    I’ve read previously that most drivers “comfort level” with cornering grip is about 0.3 Gs. At that point, the average driver feels as though they’re about out of grip and ready to slide off the road, even though the typical passenger sedan these days is probably in the 0.8 G range. I think this is probably a natural tendency to compensate for that feeling since they’re increasing the turn radius, though they all turn-in too early and end up dialing in more steering input at corner exit anyway. (Which is a natural tendency on the track too, especially with first-timers) That and I guess they leave themselves a little more run-off room, in case they find themselves sliding toward the ditch…

  2. This person looks like a very inexperienced driver. One common error that new drivers make is that they perceive themselves as driving in the very center of the road instead of slightly on the left side of the road (where the drivers’ seat is). Usually drivers orient themselves correctly after a while with a little practice, and it’s no big deal. The clover in the video either never learned or doesn’t care.

    I was a driving instructor back in the 1980’s for a while. One tactic that we sometimes used when trying to convince parents that their uncoordinated child needed more instruction was to strap them into the back seat of the car (on the passenger side, of course), then have their kid drive down neighborhood streets. Usually a few close passes to parked cars was enough to get them to agree to sign on for a few more lessons.

    • Hi Dan,

      I was unable to get a good look at the driver. Could have been a kid.

      Unfortunately, though, I suspect it could just as easily have been an “experienced” driver. That is, someone who has been “driving” for years – but never did learn how to drive.

      I encounter them literally every day.

  3. Yesterday on the way back from town in an 80km/h zone of Highway 5, I had an oncoming (southbound) Toyota Echo cross over into 1/2 my lane. Instinct (from driving a Golf) made me swerve to the shoulder but I quickly got centered in my lane again as I realized I was driving a F350 Crew/long lifted on 35s. Echo would go right under after being hastily converted into a speedster. (yeah, I probably would have crashed too, but it may have been worth it)

    Stupid 20 something girl looked up from texting at about 150′ feet, drivers side on the grease strip in my lane. She swerved back into her lane and onto her road shoulder, almost losing it. I’ll give her +1 for saving a sideways Echo, -1000000 for stupidity that required the save.

    Apparently learning nothing and clearly with a ‘more important than her life or the lives of others’ text to send, in my mirror I saw her do the same thing again within half a mile.

    Later in the day I heard of a massive crash on Highway 5 south of here. I hoped it was a single vehicle accident and the only victim was a power pole or large boulder…..

  4. Two points: 1, are you sure “he” was a “fella?” I know it’s considered a cliché but most of the time these are women drivers on cell phones.

    second point: almost certain to be using a cell phone, likely a touchscreen device.

    OT: back when I had Blackberries and Nokia phones (devices with keyboards/pads), I had little to no problem dialing and keeping my eyes on the road. I could even search the N95 for songs, without looking at the display, and have a pretty good shot at picking the right one. Now that I have an iPhone for work and Android phone for home there’s no way I can use the things while on the road. Voice commands help, but are a long way off from being as reliable as typing/T9 by touch. I can’t imagine using touch screens for controlling the car.

    It’s really a shame the black glass slab was voted to be the “best” way to make a cell phone. there’s a lot of times I could use tactile buttons. There’s no way I could have typed out this post as quickly as I did with an on-screen keyboard. But with the real keyboard on my PC it’s a piece of cake.

  5. Heh..

    “Is it really that hard to keep you (sic) car in its lane? Or are they just too busy chirping/tweeting (or choking the chicken)?”

    Yes.. yes it is. At least for clover.

    A clover years ago took issue with me cutting corners within my lane well in front of him. Some just don’t get it.

    I don’t mind so much what they do providing they don’t impinge upon me or anyone else. The best thing that could happen is that clover to screw up badly and run him/herself off in to the trees.

    • LOL!! Wish I ‘d had a steering wheel, brakes and accelerator for those games. Many times I had trouble keeping a 6′ wide car on the whole damned road at the triple digits I often drove when going around sharp curves. We(my best friend and I)started this game in high school(actually, in grade school but perfected it later)of trying to do twice the speed marked on curves. We were the only ones in the entire county as best we could figure in the early sixties who “took” the ranch truck, drove to large towns(at 12 yrs old)and raced our Chapparals and other track cars. It was great fun, esp. buying really sophisticated controllers, experimenting with traction chemicals for the tires and replacing 12 V motors with 6 volt motors made to lots better specs. Talk about going offtrack so fast the car would fly 40′ across a room to hit the wall. I still have a red “see-through” controller that was the envy of many a model car racer. I can’t throw it away. It was just so far out there back in the day. It’s neat to look at too. A few years later when I figured out how to make my dream car(911 Porsche) look slow with a Chevy I was well on my way to not being able to keep a 6′ car in a 12’ lane. I never pretended that my Malibu wouldn’t corner with a Porsche but Texas ain’t all sharp curves. Ask Jim Hall, my only hero to survive the early sixties. I never met the man even though he lived down the road from me. That wasn’t my best move in life. If I could do it all again, I’d probably still be sweeping the floors where Chapparals were built. Hhmm, wonder if he needs a part-time sweeper/trucker?

      • This Clover was not “cornering,” Eight!

        He was gimping along at about 5 MPH below the posted limit – and nowhere near speeds at which one might need to take liberties with the painted lines to apex the curve.

        These dicks simply can’t drive. They are sloppy, inattentive – and always slow. They brake early – and late. They accelerate erratically. They steer jerkily – and excessively.

        If this county had the sort of filter they have in Germany – a real driver’s test before you’re licensed – I have no doubt that at least 40 percent and perhaps 60-plus percent of currently licenses American “drivers” would be walking.

        Not that I advocate state testing.

        I just resent the state harassing people who can drive – using dumbed-down laws designed (if you give them the benefit of the doubt) for the typically inept Clover-driver.

        • eric, I totally agree. Growing up there were specific vehicles you looked for or looked out for because their drivers were so bad they’d cause accidents left and right.

          Nowadays there’s a big problem in this state of laws that force drivers to constantly be breaking arbitrary laws and go to jail, exacerbating their problems even further. So, no, I’m not much for state testing and less for enforcement. Mostly, those drivers I related to ended their lives peacefully but they left countless “nearly” victims in their wake. Many of them did leave victims and sometimes resulted in collusion of several people to get them removed from the road. That’s always a tough call and esp. for elderly people who live in the middle of nowhere. No easy answers here but that particular clover is the one I’m speaking of, totally oblivious of everything around them and seemingly unconcerned/unaware to the harm they cause others. They will be removed but it likely won’t be pretty. The elderly man I nearly ran over this year, a pedestrian, nearly took both our lives and felt like he took years off mine. It’s not rocket science to look at a big rig and ascertain fairly closely the centerline of the mass of that load in terms of height.

          I recently hauled a load of tubing. I kept thinking how nice it would be to haul something with that low centermass daily. When I haul something like I often do, a water truck with it’s front tires on top of the deck and a steel wheel packer on the end, I wish I had a very large, flashing sign that shows a car under the packer as a semi overturns with it. It would probably be worth the cost. What’s not to understand? The classic example of the tail wagging the dog.


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