There are two problems with the Holy Jab – beyond the risks (including of death) people assume when they receive their Anointing.
The first is that many are not being Anointed – probably because they lack Faith in the new religion of Sickness Abiding and are reluctant to trust pharmaceutical companies with a huge financial interest in Anointing everyone and little, if any interest, in what happens to those Anointed – being immune from responsibility for anything bad that happens as a result of all these Anointings.
Neither of these two extremely pertinent facts are mentioned much by the priests and priestesses of the Sickness Cult, who holy roll their hosannahs that even babies must be Anointed and certainly all children – notwithstanding the also-pertinent fact that almost no children have died of the putative physical sickness that serves as the Christ Child of this strange new religion.
Nor can they “asymptomatically” spread it, either. No one can.
It raises questions about the true intentions of the Anointers – or at least, it ought to.
It has raised them, in the minds of people who never got sick – calling into question the actual (as opposed to hystericized) threat of this sickness. Others did get sick but recovered from it and are now immune to this sickness and for that reason have decided it would be both pointless and unwise to assume the risks of an Anointing – and so elect not to assume them.
It is hard to know exactly how many have declined to be Anointed – because it is hard to know anything when everything you hear on TeeVee and radio is not meant to provide information but rather to inculcate doctrine. But it appears to be at least 30 and perhaps as high as 40 percent of the population. It might be more than that, depending on the state/part of the state you happen to live in – where it can be as high as most everyone.
Which brings up the second problem: How to get these “hesitant” people to submit to an Anointing?
Carrots, first. In the form of donuts. And “special deals.” Lottery winnings. Being allowed to travel again. But most of all, by allowing those Anointed to remove the outward expression of their devotion to the new religion – the Holy Rag. The Anointed have received the inward blessing of the new religion.
But how to identify those have not received it?
These apostates are receiving the benefits of the Anointing – without having received it. They are also free to remove the outward expression of a religion they do not believe in. This is unacceptable to the Believers, notwithstanding their belief that their Anointing has saved them.
Everyone must be “saved.”
As by the sword.
Or rather, the app.
Everyone will be expected to establish their state of grace via electronic presentation of their baptismal certificate, carried with them everywhere they go inside their cell phone. Perhaps preparatory to being carried within themselves (so much more convenient than having to fumble with a phone at the door to every store).
But that still leaves a final problem.
Some will still refuse; some don’t have cell phones – or will decide to get rid of them, for the same reason an abused dog that manages to get away from its tormentor will chew off his collar.
These must be punished for their disobedience. Enter the stick . . . the elimination of money. Or rather, the transformation of cash into an app. Your money will become your baptismal certificate – by rendering it their money, digitally. You will be allowed to buy and sell so long as you remain Faithful.
So long as you are obedient.
So long as you accept your Anointing. Stay “locked down” when so ordered. Keep quiet, as ordered. If you disobey, your electronic chain will be yanked – by an abusive master you cannot escape or even see.
No need to bar you from entering a store when you are unable to purchase anything within the store. No longer able to tap/swipe a payment for your power bill – so as to keep the lights (and heat) on within your home.
No gas for your car; no electricity for your electric car.
Nothing for you – unless you recognize your sinful ways and seek to be restored to good standing within the Faith. As by receiving your Anointing. As by receiving future Anointings. As by never questioning in the slightest the tenets of the Faith.
May the blessings of Landru be upon you. Peace and joy. Amen.
. . .
Got a question about cars, Libertarian politics – or anything else? Click on the “ask Eric” link and send ’em in!
If you like what you’ve found here please consider supporting EPautos.
PS: Get an EPautos magnet or sticker or coaster in return for a $20 or more one-time donation or a $10 or more monthly recurring donation. (Please be sure to tell us you want a magnet or sticker or coaster – and also, provide an address, so we know where to mail the thing!)