The war has diverted attention away from the disappearance of the Dirty Old Turtle, Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky. Just as it has diverted attention away from what is colloquially styled the Epstein Files, the contents of which are probably why we’re at war (at the behest of Israel, which was probably running the honeypot operation using Epstein as its willing front man).
The case of the Dirty Old Turtle is remarkable in its own right because it is unprecedented – at least in the modern era. In another era, the public was kept in the dark about President Woodrow Wilson – who’d been incapacitated by a stroke. His wife became de facto the president, signing laws by guiding her crippled husband’s essentially lifeless hand, which held the pen. The mind had no capacity to understand what the hand was signing. As now, while this was happening, it was known to everyone in the immediate circle of the president because such as thing cannot be hidden from close advisors and associates for more than a few days at most. It was, on the other hand, easy to hide it from the public because – a century ago – there was no 24/7 news coverage and what news there was could be very effectively controlled (and was). Another example of this being the fact that few Americans had any idea that President Franklin Roosevelt was a wheelchair-bound cripple. Photos of him standing were shown and so most people believed he could stand – and walk, even. 
It is harder to pull off such shenanigans today, even though the “news” is even more controlled now than it was back then. The difference is the public has other means to suss out what’s going on. As for example the identities of the people who have to know whether the Dirty Old Turtle is alive. Or alive but brain dead. They are his staffers.
They may also be criminals. It being a crime to conceal a death. It being fraud to be complicit in the telling of consequential lies pertaining to the public’s business. These people – Terry Camarck, the Dirty Old Turtle’s Chief of Staff and Robert Steurer, the Dirty Old Turtle’s Communications Director, and Melissa Bennett, the Dirty Old Turtle’s Director of Operations, as well as Senior Advisors David Popp and Dylan Vorbach – know the truth but are deliberately suppressing it, by omission at the very least.
These are people on the taxpayers’ dime. Does anyone remember that silly line about the government working for us? Here – as if anyone needed more – is evidence of the degrading preposterousness of that line. Imagine you disappeared and had not been in to the office for a month and your co-workers (who knew you were dead or brain dead) told the boss you merely recovering from a “minor” fall and a bout of pneumonia but were fine, fine fine and not to worry. Do you think the boss would buy it? Do you think – when the boss found out your co-workers had been lying about it – that those co-workers would not be fired?
Yet nothing happens – when the lying is performed by our “servants” in the government.
Nothing happens, of course, because nothing happens. There is never accountability for our “servants” in government. Has a single one of these “servants” been served – as with an indictment – over what they did to us during the COVID affair? Has Trump been brought to heel over embroiling this country in a war of aggression, which is on the face of it a war crime and also a blatant, shit-in-our-laps violation of the Constitution’s requirement that Congress rather than the president declare (and vote in favor of) going to war?
Maybe this Dirty Old Turtle business will come back to bite the GOP – and this war, too. Of course, the alternative – the Democrats – is no better and will probably be worse. The Romans probably felt a little better after Nero was disposed of.
But Galba wasn’t much of an improvement.
. . .
If you like what you’ve found here please consider supporting EPautos.
We depend on you to keep the wheels turning!
Our donate button is here.
If you prefer not to use PayPal, our mailing address is:
EPautos
721 Hummingbird Lane SE
Copper Hill, VA 24079
PS: Get an EPautos magnet or sticker or coaster in return for a $25 or more one-time donation or a $10 or more monthly recurring donation. (Please be sure to tell us you want a magnet or sticker or coaster – and also, provide an address, so we know where to mail the thing!)
If you’d like a Baaaaa hat or other EPautos gear, see here!











Lindsey Graham has a question about Mitch:
https://image.cagle.com/309594/980/lindsey-graham-reaches-neocon-afterlife-ahead-of-mitch-mcconnell.png
Alive or dead, he’s still not a human being.
Where is today’s Robocop?…
“Alive or dead, you are coming with me….”
Ditch McConnell is almost certainly dead, like bibi satanyahoo….
But the khazarian mafia grinds on and on, with its endless wars in the mideast and on the citizensof the US and the world….
Modern medicine can keep body activity going indefinitely. Technically alive, at least.
Many of us recall the Terri Schiavo case. Back when the media was more about meddling in people’s lives than reporting on war atrocities and political crimes, the Schiavo case was considered to be a perfect story because you pretty much had to have an opinion one way or the other and depending on that view either side was good or evil. Right about that time I turned off the television news, because they clearly didn’t want me as a viewer.
That technology was just an Ensure drip. But even then they could go to great lengths to keep someone alive with different chemical concoctions, mechanical breathing devices and the AED. That and sensors that generate gigabytes of telemetry that’s monitored round the clock. Imagine what an important person gets access to today.
Just FYI the AED is to stop your heart, to be restarted by mechanical cpr.
But they CAN pump the blood externally and force enough air in and out to keep the meat fresh indefinitely.
I still plan to be shot by a jealous boyfriend, just to keep it quick and keep the quacks’ meddling to a minimum.
Good plan!
Better yet, how about shot by all the boyfriends of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders?
No one begrudges Mitch McConnell his life. The issue is that those who are not competent to continue in office in the Congress (or White House) should resign (same as how people who are not competent to drive or their families should see that they no longer do). Those in office who have sworn to uphold the laws and constitution of the U.S. should also not obstruct/manipulate U.S. election process to get candidates they want in office.
We were always told “the process works,” but it is quite obvious the process is no longer working. Those in charge wantonly and blatantly starting with President Trump don’t follow the laws or the constitution. It is a question of honesty, honor and integrity. It is why the American people have lost respect for their system of government.
Amen, AJC –
Ordinarily, I’d feel sad about McConnell – because it’s sad to see a man become old and frail. But when a man is despicable, it is hard to feel sadness, for me at least. If he’s dead or incapacitated, the people have a right to know. Period. For the truth to be withheld is a despicability. It shows contempt for the people who are forced to pay this man’s salary as well as the salaries of his entourage.
Gone or not, it matters not, cause
“Its turtles all the way down…”
Saw somewhere there’s no need to worry about it. He’s just on eternity leave.
Morning, Steve –
As usual, there will be no accountability or consequences when it is (at last) revealed that the Dirty Old Turtle is dead or incapacitated. They will lie without blinking (again) and tell us he “had another fall” and “was recovering” but “took a turn for the worse.” Then it will all go away and the next lie will be put forward.
My thoughts are…
Replace “Seargent Krueger” with Glitch McTurtle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDCjw0TKQ8E
I found The Turtle! (Looks a little different, but by the actions displayed….seems to fit the bill) 😀
https://youtu.be/ucXgFDQqFsc?si=R5YBhlfY0CIe2B3Z
This turtle was much too lively to be our Glitch, but I will take his advice on fucking with the Post Office.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWH4tWkZpPU
Dianne Feinstein.
Lady didn’t even know she’d been absent from the senate for months.
Staff told her how to vote at public hearings.
How frequently this is happening in our geriatric institutions of government, we can’t know.
Repeal the 17th amendment.
This is a good one Eric. It just makes me want to scream and yell though. I am so sick of these politicians and unelected useless people never being held accountable for anything they do. If it was us peons we would be thrown under the jail faster than you could say ‘fraud’. Speaking of fraud, why haven’t the AG of New York and that one in Atlanta—I think, been arrested for fraud in their real estate dealings? Listing the whatever house they wanted as their main residence, but living in a different one.
I think bombing DC and Israel would solve a lot of America’s problems.
One more thing, change the laws that allow all these Convenience Store Indians (instead of dot Indians, lol.) and Muslims to run for public office of any kind. Kick them out!!
Okay, I feel better, needed to vent. Of course saying bomb, naturally I was joking, aaahhh.
Thanks, Elaine!
I’m hoping the weather clears (it’s been raining for days here) so I can take the Trans-Am out; I need to calm down, too.
“One more thing, change the laws that allow all these Convenience Store Indians (instead of dot Indians, lol.) and Muslims to run for public office of any kind. Kick them out!!”
I’d rather kick out all the Jews (the dual Israeli citizens, all those enlisting in the IDF, all the youth who get a free trip to Israel and then spy on the US like Pollard: infiltrate our companies and gov’t to work for Israel). Let’s go after the politicians who put Israel first and subject U.S. citizens to “anti-semite” laws for objecting to genocide and being robbed blind, maimed and killed for Israeli wars of aggression. Let’s go after AG Bondi and Blanche who refuse to release the Epstein Files in accordance with the law, who transfer convicted Jewish sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell to a minimum security prison for lying about pedophile Trump, and refuse to prosecute Trump’s “friends” or meet with his victims.
https://t.me/ukraine_watch/64856
AI: “Dividing $1.15 trillion evenly among the roughly 345 million people living in the United States results in $3,333.33 per American.If you narrow the definition of “American” to only include the roughly 168 million individual taxpayers, the amount changes to $6,845.24 per taxpayer.” And then there’s the inflation; the double and triple gas prices; the food increase; the rent increase; the electric and heat bill increase.
Trump thinks Sheldon Adelson is so rich w/his $66 billion gambling, prostitution and drug empire. Miriam’s got $250 million to put on the presidential race and $50 million (or maybe $250 million there too) for the congressional races. AND FOR THAT SHE GETS $1.15 TRILLION in war spending, $3.5 BILLION to Israel and only God knows because the press sure as hell ain’t reporting it how many other kickbacks from the US taxpayer (maybe Trump is using the US Navy to fight Adelson’s drug wars). Paul Singer got Venezuelan oil contracts and Citgo. As EP has said Barron Trump’s net worth is $150 million, and Eric Trump $400 million and Don Jr $300 million and Ivanka Kushner $1 billion (be sure to contrast that with Hunter Biden).
NO MORE MONEY FOR ISRAEL UNTIL ISRAEL RECOGNIZES A PALESTINIAN STATE! NO MORE MONEY FOR ANY MORE MIDEAST WARS OR BASES UNTIL THE U.S. CONGRESS RECOGNIZES A PALESTINIAN STATE. END THE GENOCIDE! END THE WARS! YOU WANT THE MUSLIMS OUT OF THE U.S.: GET ISRAEL OUT OF GAZA AND THE WEST BANK, JERUSALEM, SYRIA AND LEBANON. GET THE U.S. OUT OF IRAQ, JORDAN, KUWAIT, EGYPT, YEMEN, TURKEY, BAHRAIN, UAE, QATAR, SAUDI ARABIA, SYRIA, LIBYA, NIGERIA, MALI, SUDAN — END THE JEW WARS OF CONQUEST!
Elaine, If this is the Indian Muslim you want to deport, I would elect him president just so he could execute the arrest warrant on Benjamin Netanyahu. Americans can do nothing when the Trump administration illegally revokes the visas of the Palestinian Authority so they can’t speak at the UN. Americans can do nothing when presidents and congresses of both parties illegally fund Israeli genocide of Palestinians and forever wars against every Arab country in the Middle East, Africa and Afghanistan (to grow opium): but they can and will elect Muslims who WILL NOT be bought by the Israeli lobby and who still believe in the American dream. Maybe we will get justice for the 3000 Americans murdered by our own government on 911 and get the Epstein files released (the Jews can’t assassinate every Indian Muslim, can they?).
“Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal, the architect of a horrific genocide against the Palestinian people. He is responsible for the killing of more than 73,000 people, for the maiming of tens of thousands of children as those who survive undergo amputation without anesthesia. For the targeting of neonatal hospitals and maternity care centers, denying newborns even the chance to live. For the countless people he starved as he blocked food and humanitarian aid from reaching them. For the gunning down of hundreds of aid workers and journalists. And just last month, the UN confirmed that Palestinian children continue to be deliberately targeted and killed by Israeli armed forces, more than eight months after the so-called ceasefire.
“The list goes on and on. All as we, as Americans, pay for the bombs that do the killing. There is a reason the International Criminal Court issued a warrant for his arrest. As human beings, we have spent generations building a shared understanding that there are crimes so grave they offend all of humanity. Anyone with their eyes, with their heart, with their conscience, should recognize the devastation he has wrought and understand that he belongs before a court of law.
“As I’ve said, I agree with the ICC that Benjamin Netanyahu should be arrested and tried for his crimes, as I do for anyone else charged by the ICC. My administration has reviewed every avenue available under applicable law to determine whether New York City could execute the International Criminal Court’s arrest warrant if Benjamin Netanyahu came here. It is clear that we do not have the independent legal authority to enforce this warrant. The federal government, however, does— and I call on them to join the ICC and execute this warrant.
“And I want to be equally clear: Benjamin Netanyahu is not welcome in New York City, nor is any other war criminal at large. While we cannot end the genocide on our own, we can decide whether our silence will become another weapon, and we can examine every tool we have to defend the humanity and dignity of all people. That is my commitment to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZuV5L0QL04
God bless Mayor Mamdani and may his tribe increase!
Now this Kippah-wearing Jew, Randy Fine, the “Hebrew Hammer,” what is he doing in the U.S. Congress? I would deport him in a heartbeat. He thinks he can call someone a “Muslim Terrorrist” and then it’s okay to murder them AND their families, destroy their country and steal their land.
“Rep. Randy Fine Says Mayor Mamdani is a Muslim Terrorist: Congressman, Jacob with TMZ. How’s it going? How are you? So, this morning I see that you called Zoran Mamdani a Muslim terrorist. How does saying things like that help your cause? I feel like he could really get under people’s skin. It’s the truth. We should always tell the truth. It’s the truth. Sure. Well, he’s an elected official. He’s a sitting mayor of New York. Does that mean he’s not a terrorist? So, the guys who run Hamas, who sit in Qatar or Turkey? Mhm. Are they terrorists? [Israel thinks they can violate Qatari sovereignty and assassinate them! (But Hamas is the terrorist.)] Well, how could you compare that to the sitting mayor of New York? And he but what Zoran was saying is you’re elected doesn’t mean you’re not
terrorist. So Zoran Mandani gave a speech where he decried the killing of Muslim terrorists. He gave a number in his speech. Let me finish. He gave a number of people that he claims Israel killed. That number objectively includes Hamas terrorists and he decried the killing of Muslim terrorists.
“He’s also saying that the ICC has charged Netanyahu with a as a war criminal and therefore he should be arrested. The mayor of New York, he should leave foreign policy to those who are in charge of it. Why would a mayor of New York get involved in these issues other than to legitimize? But he’s also calling on the federal government to make the arrest. We can’t make the arrest. We are not a party to 1the ICC. It’s a fake court that America is not part of. He He could also we could also follow the the the warrants of of you know of of some group of people who are playing Dungeons and Dragons.
“Going back to going back to your tweet though, there’s so much talk about turning down the rhetoric and when you call someone a Muslim terrorist. I agree that TMZ shouldn’t use the term white supremacist or Christian nationalist. And I’m glad that’s the policy that you’re going to have moved. Well, I’m saying if we called someone like a Jewish terrorist or like a black terrorist if they’re a terrorist. But have you ever used the term white supremacist? Of course. Yeah. Okay. So, why can’t we use the term Muslim terrorist? [BECAUSE ISRAEL MURDERS IN COLD BLOOD MUSLIM TERRORISTS AND SAYS THEY CAN DO IT BECAUSE THEY’VE LABELED THEM A MUSLIM TERRORIST!] It just seems like a different connotation when you’re adding a religion to its Okay. Have you ever used the term Christian nationalist? I I bet you guys have. I don’t think so. I I think there’s white nationalists, but at the same time, it’s like if someone said Jewish nationalists, and I say this as someone who is Jewish, like I just think No, no. I I use the language the way it is described white supremacy, Christian nationalism are terms that are used to describe it. White is a race and Muslim is a religion. Christian, go look up Christian nationalist. It’s a term that’s used. So, I didn’t make up the rules. I just play by Okay.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdVLOfSWO2A
The Muslim mayor of London has announced he’s going to arrest Netanyahu.
“Americans can do nothing when the Trump administration illegally revokes the visas of the Palestinian Authority so they can’t speak at the UN.”
Assuming that’s true, if the UN wants to hear from them, they can just meet somewhere else, and while they are gone, we sell the building and revoke all their visas.
“Trump Administration Reaffirms Commitment to Not Reward Terrorism and Revokes Visas of Palestinian Officials Ahead of UNGA” [They revoked visas of 80 palestinian officials]
https://www.state.gov/releases/2025/08/trump-administration-reaffirms-commitment-to-not-reward-terrorism-and-revokes-visas-of-palestinian-officials-ahead-of-unga
But terrorist Netanyahu is flying to Lindsay Graham’s memorial service and Trump is meeting with the terrorist. Same with the Trump installed ISIS terrorist in Syria whom Trump sends “Trump cologne” and says will fight Hezbollah in Lebanon for him–$10 million bounty just wiped away.
If we got rid of the UN, how could the U.S. and its allies condemn Russia and Iran and China and Palestine for not obeying international law?
Why do we need to? Why is it any of our business? Can’t we be America First for a change?
But that’s exactly what U.S. does in the U.N.: put its own interest first. AI: “The United Nations was created in 1945 to maintain international peace, prevent future global wars, and promote human rights. Stop Wars: Keep peace and stop fights between countries before they start. Protect Rights: Support human rights and fair treatment for all people everywhere. Work Together: Help nations solve big economic, social, and health problems as a team.”
Unfortunately, U.S. turned it into a partisan organization to advance its own interests at the expense of justice and other countries. Case in point, Israel.
AI: “The United States has exercised its UN Security Council veto 51 times to block resolutions critical of or pertaining to Israel, starting from its first use on September 10, 1972, through subsequent decades of Middle East conflicts, up to multiple ceasefire vetoes during the Israel-Hamas war.
“First Veto: Cast on September 10, 1972 (Resolution S/10784) regarding Israeli actions on the Lebanese border.
“Cold War Peak (1982–1990): The U.S. used its veto 21 times during this span to block measures addressing Lebanon and Palestinian territories.
“Recent Conflicts: Includes multiple vetoes shielding Israel from Security Council resolutions demanding immediate humanitarian ceasefires in Gaza.”
Congress Clowns are in the communication business — with constituents; with their fellow Clowns in committee meetings and floor debates. Perhaps unsurprisingly, with 535 of them, many from uncompetitive districts, some are not very good at it.
In a story reminiscent of parents who accidentally leave a kid behind on a vacation trip, Rep Kay Granger (R-TX) disappeared for months in 2024 — and no one even noticed! She was later located in a senior living facility in Fort Worth, struggling with dementia. No communication = no problem, in ‘public service.’
Playing devil’s advocate, if ‘Mitch’ were sentient, surely his spokesperson would run a couple of social media posts by him for approval each day, to maintain a veneer of normality. That this isn’t happening suggests that Mitch’s flunkies are hunkered down in their foxholes, worried about employability and (as Eric suggests) subpoenas and indictments.
This is how empires die — with tragicomic flakes driving the bus off the cliff, as empowered looters plunder everything that’s not nailed down. Might as well take some more soma …
It’s like the Soviet Politburo in the early 1980s. You had a bunch off superannuated old coots who had total control over the system and lifetime sinecures within the Party, and nobody knew if they were dead or alive or — sane or competent — until well after the fact and the announcement of their deaths was carefully stage-managed.
Frayed-collar scribbler ‘Joseph Gerth’ of the Dirty Old Turtle’s ‘hometown newspaper’ [sic] the Louisville Courier-Journal has
writtenexcreted a pre-obituary outlining the “detestable” senator’s legacy.Great idea … but unfortunately, it’s partisan leftist drivel from the Lügenpresse, which still idolizes Saint Obama as our greatest president ever.
If anyone could pull off a biting pre-obituary of the Turtle in the pungent, erudite H. L. Mencken style, seasoned with a gonzo dash of Dr Hunter S Thompson, it’s our own Eric Peters. Today’s essay, in any case, makes a fine start.
A hare was making fun of ol’ Rigor Tortoise one day for being so slow.
“Do you ever get anywhere?” the silly wabbit asked with a mocking laugh.
“Yes,” replied the Tortoise, “and I get there sooner than you think. I’ll race you to
HellWARshington and prove it!”Mitch is being processed through the Turtle Farm life review as we type. In a just universe he will be reborn, as a fly on a steaming pile of camel dung. A fitting rebirth into the land where he caused so much death and destruction.
‘Asked on Monday how long it had been since he last spoke with McConnell, Senate Majority Leader John Thune, a South Dakota Republican, responded: “Several days—day before last, maybe.”’ — Newsweek
Bwa ha ha ha — yeah, right!
Senator Thunetang sounds like one of the clueless Africans in a Tarzan movie that we endlessly aped as kids:
*rubbing stomach*
‘Kimba hungry! Kimba not eat for three, four day maybe!’
Frickin’ Repugniclowns … off with their heads!! 🙂
They are counting down the clock and unfortunately, they probably will succeed with a little less than two weeks to go. We will get the announcement around the second week of August that Old Mitch took a turn for the worst.
I hope Andy isn’t stupid enough to think he has a chance of the Presidency. He could put a stop to this and refuses to do so, which means they are all in on it. Where are the Asses in the Senate bellowing about McConnell’s whereabouts? As usual, I only hear crickets.
They don’t Massie in the Senate any more than the Repugs do.
You are correct, RG
If Kentucky’s governor showed up in person at the hospital and demanded to see McClownell that would confirm whether he’s alive or (brain)dead. If he is denied access he could declare Mitch dead for the purpose of a special election but everyone seems fine about running out the clock.
Both parties are in on it together. Also, we will not be voting our way out of this. Wish more than most of those around here and a few others understood this.
I think we do understand this, at least on this site, but there’s fuck-all we can do about it. The forces that gather with rising state power are also the forces which take it down. We’re just here for the ride.
During the coof lockdowns in China, a cop told a rebellious citizen ‘we will punish you and your children and your children’s children if you don’t comply.’ The citizen said ‘There will be no children.’
And here we are.
Eric – why must you insult turtles by comparing them to Senator McConnel? I mean, even Yertle should feel slighted!
They plan on punishing us either way. Wars are not fought only by childless citizens. Become sovereign first, enough people do that and the forces, as you called them, lose by default.
We can show others how it’s done. It is a process, not a one time event.. I’m more ungovernable now than I was five, or even ten years ago. Extrapolate that out and keep convincing people of the benefits of non compliance. In the last two years Ive seen at east one other big change. No one under 40 I know, IRL, trusts Israel, or, is willing to fight for them.