Safety Clovers/Van Down By The River

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I was driving around in a new VW Golf (though not a TDI) doing a little video monologue, my V1 radar detector on but muted… because the VW, like more and more new cars, emanates its own radar signature. For saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafety:

It is a function of the “collision avoidance” or some other obnoxious/can’t-skip-it technology the car comes with – and which all new cars will soon come with, like ashtrays (which they no longer come with).

Anyhow, the car leaks radar from every pore, so even if there’s not a revenue collector within an astronomical unit (AU) of your location, the poor radar detector thinks there is – and will ping constantly. Which of course is annoying. And so, one turns the volume down. And so, becomes vulnerable to the real thing. To the presence in the vicinity of an actual revenue collector.angry pig pic

This is what happened to me.

As usual when this happens, I was just barely “speeding.” (When I mean it, I pay much more attention to my surroundings.) I’m doing my monologue – which I ended up having to stop abruptly – when, coming at me in the opposite lane, I notice a white-bellied porker. A glance at the speedo tells me I’m a few MPH over. Not much. But, nonetheless, “speeding.”

Scheisse.

We pass each other. I immediately look in my rearview.I see him brake and turn into a driveway, as if to turn around and come back the other way.

It was all I needed to see.

I proceeded around the bend, lost sight of my friend and – at the first opportunity – took the scenic route to my destination.

Which would not have been necessary had it not been for the radar clutter produced by the car. And by other cars – and big rigs, too. I’ve noticed the detector goes off like clockwork whenever I am anywhere near a Kenworth or Volvo or Peterbuilt. Apparently, over-the-road truckers are now also forced to fit their rigs with saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafety systems similar to those in cars. And every time I get near a Cadillac, an Audi or an Infiniti – same thing.

Soon, it’ll be Hyundais and Kias, too.

I’ve spoken with Mike Valentine of V1 radar detectors (one of the best, the one I use) and he tells me they are working on it, trying to filter out the false-flag K band signatures now littering the ether. But, be advised: Thanks to saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafety, your radar detector’s effectiveness is not what it used to be.

Land of the free, home of the brave. Are you kidding me? America is the home of the micromanaged and the neurotic. VW figures out a way to “cheat” the EPA by designing its cars so they emit a fraction of a percent more NOx emissions and you’d think they clubbed baby seals to death while pouring motor oil down the sewer. The slightest, most abstract “threat” to the “safety” of a cop justifies summary execution.

Oceania, ‘Tis for Thee!

Well, anyhow.

Tonight (6:30 p.m. east coast time Sept. 26) I’ll be on Inside Track & Voices of the West. Hope you’ll tune in.

Meanwhile, we’re stalled. See the pie chart – which I may soon rename the Van By The River chart. I’ve made several appeals, and some have responded, but we are still way low, about 44 percent in the red with just a few days left in the month. This is bad, obviously.

I’m hoping it’ll turn around, as it has – so far. We’ve managed to stay out of the red for five months running.

Will you help make it six?

 

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EPautos
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Copper Hill, VA 24079

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Author of "Automotive Atrocities" and "Road Hogs" (MBI). Currently living amongst the Edentulites in rural SW Virginia.

11 COMMENTS

  1. Does anyone have experience using Cloudflare with a WordPress site? (Or equivalent that’s better suited here.)

    Wouldn’t Cloudflare greatly
    1 reduce the spam problems, sql injects, ddos, and other attacks from bad actors (if there’s any oooorgle hasn’t already handled that is)
    2 speed up the page loads, since its CDN serves pages on his behalf throughout the world and ignores blacklisted requesters and known pests
    3 greatly reduce the the monthly overhead cost of server traffic/bandwith (sorry I don’t know correct terms )
    4 give him much better analytics of the exact visitors and their authentic IPs ($0, $20, $200, 1-(888)-993-5273)
    5 other things I forget right now, even the free version (unlimited queries? faster dns lookups)

    Cloudflare
    https://www.cloudflare.com/plans

    Larken & Cantwell seem to be using email lists, both of these guys seem pretty savvy (yet also suffer from anemic funds / compared to number of visitors.)

    I’m sure there’s many here with far better ideas than I and a better grasp of IT and making a living as an Internet Celebritarian http://christophercantwell.com/2015/01/24/7-steps-becoming-celebritarian/ who can overhaul and tune this Van Down by the River and keep this Mystery Machine rolling.
    http://www.wnydreamcars.com/1966_Chevrolet_G10%20MYSTERY%20MACHINE_West%20Seneca_NY_226348869.veh

  2. Police aren’t on duty to protect you. They are on duty to find something wrong with you. They are less concerned with crimes against persons and property than laws against their orderly society.

    Your family, friends, and neighbors elect the lawmakers. Your family, friends, and neighbors collaborate with the police state as informers and jurors.

    • It’s funny seeing the mainstream in outrage when cops do this or fail to do that. The mainstream has a perception of police that is totally disconnected with reality. They have trouble grasping it hence the outrage and calls for reform. Can’t be reformed. Won’t be changed. People don’t understand that police are there for the government, not them. Unless that dynamic is changed nothing else will.

  3. Luckily there are no speed cameras in Idaho…..at least my area. They could have them in Boise area.

    The state piggies and every city piggy I have encountered all run Ka band. The occasional county sheriff vehicles still have k band, but they are only a threat on back roads. I pretty much know which county I have to worry about, so I can pretty much ignore anything not Ka. I have seen this change to Ka going on for the past 15 years or more. It will be nice when it’s 100% done.

    • For 35 years I wanted missiles that fire on detection of radar. Make it look like a sleek luggage rack on the roof. Ruined paint and windshield, a small price to pay.

      • Forget the name…. HARM, maybe? But they can be pointed upwards, launched enough above the roof that there’d be no paint damage.
        Then, they actively home in on the radar….

        It’s a nice dream, but per the meat of this article – no longer possible. The Radar is everywhere. You’d need the auto-fire, and then an image recognition missile, or an IFF (Identify Fried or Foe) method, where something unique to Piggy that is always on will differentiate the SOB from the normal clover-untermenschen.

        I’m sure it’s there, but don’t know what it is. Radio, data signal, something. Maybe images of every known police car make and model, tweaked by geographic location? Not sure it’d sell enough to be worth the effort, when mines or EMPs are so much cheaper…. 😉

  4. Not that I’d buy a “new” car but I get further away from “new” every day. The Elco sounds better every day and it makes not a sound…..now.

  5. This radar interference is the automakers way of collaborating with the gov’t to put an end to people using their brains while driving a car. This is aimed at people like us who regularly exceed the “speed limit”.

    Here in Oz where I live, near a major highway, police regularly speed through Rockbank, a town that once hosted the most lucrative speed scamera in Australia. No lights, no sirens. When I see the cops do this, I ride back 5 car lengths right behind them, matching their speed. While other motorists hang back, I get right on their tail. No tickets from this yet.

    • Don’t try it in Tx. Their radar clocks speed no matter what direction and has guns pointing both directions. This state collects revenue with the latest and greatest. And the DPS is always there to view the remains. I called in a bad accident via two way radio. I stayed at the scene doing my best to keep the victims from being run over and avoiding touching the woman who slammed the pavement from the back of a bike rear-ended by a car. The motorcycle driver I kept or tried to hold down to avoid further injury.

      DPS arrives, looks the scene over. One of them lifts the woman’s head, face down with teeth grinding on the pavement(you could barely hear it)by her hair, shines his light in her face and just releases her hair with her face hitting the pavement once again….more of a bloody mess. Amazingly, everyone survived, very pregnant woman and all, baby too.

      Once the occifers attention was on recording the scene, I left quickly on a dirt road intersecting the pavement and continued on home. First hand experience with the victims themselves and then with the occifers on the scene.

    • Build a better idiot. It’s what most of the driving world has been doing for decades. The die out of building better drivers in the USA started in the 1930s.

      And if you’re the kind they select there may be cop #2 to pull you over for copying cop #1. I’ll just say I know that for a fact. No ticket though.

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