Park Pork

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A word to the wise about operating on the Blue Ridge Parkway/Skyline Drive in Virginia and North Carolina:

Pork abounds.

And Park Pork – federal pork – uses instant-on radar. Even if you have a top-drawer radar detector like my Valentine1, you are vulnerable to instant-on radar precisely because it cannot be detected until the porker turns on his beam. Your unit will go off – but it will be Too Late.

The typical scenario – and I have been a victim of this myself – is as follows:

You are driving along in the the northbound lane; you round a curve or a crest a rise – and suddenly, there he is. Or he is coming at you in the southbound lane. Your detector goes berserk, but it is  . . . Too Late.

$150 lighter and 30 minutes later, you’re back on the road.

The Parkway is a ticket-writing goldmine because it is lightly traveled, the speed limits are set purposefully below reasonable rates of travel – so pretty much everyone is “speeding” – and it’s a two-lane road with few sidestreets. If you’re by yourself – and driving faster than the 45 MPH (sometimes, 35 MPH) maximum – it’s a simple numbers game.

Eventually, it’ll be your turn.

The only serviceable defense against instant-on radar is to let another car run point. Find a car that is driving at the speed you’re comfortable with and sidle in behind, keeping back about ten car lengths. If a porker running instant-on is up ahead, he’ll instant-on the car in front of you and you will have time to slow down.

It is a mercenary policy, I realize – but survival comes down to that.

Helpful tip: I am pretty sure that Park Pork tickets, which are federal tickets, do not automatically get reported to the state DMV. Provided you go to the cashier’s window at the magistrate’s office and pay the extortion note off in person. Do not mail it in. The feds use a private collection service and those bungholes will report your deed to the DMV – whereupon your insurance mafia man will find out and dun you again and thrice.

Also, do not fight the ticket – unless you are ok going in with your DMV (and insurance mafia) friends finding out, in the event you lose your case. Which of course, you will. Apparently, if you contest the charge in federal court (yes, federal court) the feds will report a conviction to the DMV. And if you lose, the federal court system can be vicious. It could mean more than just a fine. Seriously.

You will want to look into it.

Hope this was helpful!

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7 COMMENTS

  1. New York City’s Parking Rules Have Turned Me Into A Sociopath
    https://adequateman.deadspin.com/new-york-citys-parking-rules-have-turned-me-into-a-soci-1796548088

    Era of Economic Surrender Is Over
    http://www.breitbart.com/video/2017/07/08/trump-era-of-economic-surrender-is-over/

    This blog has an OT post called Open Road that gets posted every 2 weeks. It always has thousands of comments, whereas On Topic comments are found on the other articles, which have maybe 5% of the comments on the OT threads.

    Might be helpful for your older non-hip readers, who seem befuddled or even outraged, by all the freeform comments that happen here. Guess it depends on who’s donating. People who like total freeform. Or are there lots of donators/valued regulars who aren’t thrilled with the freeform anarchy comments common here.
    http://slatestarcodex.com/2017/07/03/ot79-open-road/

  2. 28% of US land is federal land. Truly our national treasure, LOL. When I say our, I mean nobody is allowed to use or benefit from any of it, except with a temporary permission slip. How much land is state owned, county owned, and municipal owned.

    All streets are owned by some unit of government. There truly is a physical infrastructure matrix that we all use every day without realization. We are North Koreans allowed to own property, so long as we surrender even our great great grandchildren into eternal debt servitude.

    Now back to prohibition.

    Prohibition was promoted by the “dry” crusaders, a movement led by pious Protestants and social Progressives in the Prohibition, Democratic, and Republican parties.

    It gained a national grass roots base through the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union. After 1900 it was coordinated by the Anti-Saloon League.

    Opposition from the beer industry, mobilized “wet” supporters from the Catholic and German Lutheran communities. They had funding to fight back but by 1917-18 the German community had been marginalized by the World Banker’s war against Germany, and the brewing industry was shut down in state after state by the legislatures and finally nationwide under the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution in 1920.

    Enabling legislation, known as the Volstead Act, set down the rules for enforcing the federal ban and defined the types of alcoholic beverages that were prohibited. For example, religious use of wine was allowed. Private ownership and consumption of alcohol were not made illegal under federal law, but local laws were stricter in many areas, with some states banning possession outright.

    In the 1920s the laws were widely disregarded, and the heroes lamented all their potential tax theft opportunities that were lost.

    What had once been regular groups of commercial producers were forced to become very well organized criminal gangs if they wanted to continue in their line of work.

    As always happens on the road to serfdom, the worst of society took control of the beer and liquor supply for many cities. Unleashing plenty of liquid commodities ginned up to be seen as a crime wave that shocked the metastasizing Cloverific nation.

    By the late 1920s a new opposition to this Faux Heroic Commercial Holocaust mobilized nationwide.

    Wets attacked prohibition as causing crime, lowering local revenues, and imposing rural Protestant religious values on urban America. Prohibition ended with the ratification of the Twenty-first Amendment, which repealed the Eighteenth Amendment in December, 1933.

    Some states continued statewide prohibition, marking one of the last stages of the overt Progressive Era.

    Progressivism of course lives on, because although popular opinion believes that Prohibition failed, it succeeded in cutting overall alcohol consumption in half during the 1920s, and consumption remained below pre-Prohibition levels until the 1940s.

    This provided a Progressive Proof of concept that still plays today. Look how you all feel about smoking, and other non-progressive activities.

    Prohibition did socialize a significant proportion of the population in temperate habits, at least temporarily. Something every clover will crow about as he drives the government roads in a safe and temperate manner.

    Anti-progressive researches will tell you Prohibition led to unintended consequences such as the growth of urban crime organizations and a century of Prohibition-influenced legislation, we suffer under even today.

    As an experiment it lost supporters every year, and lost tax revenue that governments needed when the Federal fiat and credit crunch from the Federal Reserve bank officially became known as the Great Depression which officially began in 1929. (Though it depressed all forms of spontaneous market commerce from the very beginning.)

  3. Prohibition was dialed back from 11 by FDR, whose first act as president was to repeal the thing. Let’s say he dialed it down to 8 on the prohibition dial. It kind of meandered lower to about 4 until the Kennedy brothers came along and outlawed private gambling, brothels, and drinking clubs pretty much nationwide.

    Sending in brutalizing confiscatory goon squads on a tear, with only Atlantic City and Nevada left standing once the smoke of punishing purity fires cleared. Any sin industries that wanted to remain open, faced either getting unofficial police sponsorship. Or becoming their own police and military, including literally having to kill people just to stay in business.

    The true founding fathers, were the kind who said Fuck You Europe, we’re distilling and doing whatever the hell else we please, we’re not a bunch of colonial cucks strutting in fancy institutions wearing wigs and writing a bunch of tough sounding talk on parchment.

    Here’s the current status of distilling your own liquor, instead of being a neutered declawed cuck, who has to buy his liquor at a legal retail store.

    Home Distilling – Alcohol and Tobacco Trade and Tax Bureau US Dept of Treasury
    https://www.ttb.gov/spirits/home-distilling.shtml

    While individuals of legal drinking age may produce wine or beer at home for personal or family use, Federal law strictly prohibits individuals from producing distilled spirits at home. Producing distilled spirits at any place other than a TTB-qualified distilled spirits plant can expose you to Federal charges for serious offenses and lead to consequences including, but not necessarily limited to, the following:

    Felonies that are punishable by up to 5 years in prison, a fine of up to $10,000, or both, for each offense.
    Possession of an unregistered still.
    Engaging in business as a distiller without filing an application and receiving notice of registration.
    Distilling on a prohibited premises. A distilled spirits plant may not be located in a residence or in sheds, yards, or enclosures connected to a residence.
    Unlawful production or use of material fit for production of distilled spirits.
    Unlawful production of distilled spirits.
    Purchase, receipt, and/or processing of distilled spirits when the person who does so knows or has reasonable grounds to believe that Federal excise tax has not been paid on the spirits.
    Removal or concealment of distilled spirits on which tax has not been paid.

    Engaging in business as a distiller with intent to defraud the United States of tax is a felony punishable by up to 5 years in prison, a fine of up to $10,000, or both.

    Transporting, possessing, buying, selling, or transferring any distilled spirit unless the container bears the required closure, a closure that must be broken in order to open the container, is a felony punishable by up to 5 years in prison, a fine of up to $10,000, or both, for each offense.

    All distilled spirits not closed, marked, and branded as required by law and the TTB regulations shall be forfeited to the United States. In addition, all unregistered stills and/or distilling apparatus also will be forfeited.

    Whenever any person carries on the business of a distiller without having given the required bond or with the intent to defraud the United States of tax on distilled spirits, the personal property of that person located in the distillery, and that person’s interest in the tract of land on which the still is located, shall be forfeited to the United States.

    Possessing liquor or property intended to be used in violation of the law is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 1 year in prison, a fine of up to $5,000, or both. Such liquor and property is also subject to seizure and forfeiture.

    Any person who willfully attempts to evade or defeat any Internal Revenue Code tax has committed a felony and shall be fined up to $100,000, imprisoned for up to 5 years, or both, plus the cost of prosecution.

    Any property subject to tax, or raw materials and/or equipment for the production of such property, in the possession of any person for the purpose of being sold or removed in violation of the internal revenue laws may be seized and shall be forfeited to the United States. In addition, any property including aircraft, vehicles, and vessels used to transport or used as a container for such property or materials may be seized and shall be forfeited to the United States. Further, it is unlawful to possess any property intended for use, or which has been used, in violation of the internal revenue laws; no property rights shall exist in any such property.

    Adhering to an emerging NAP society is going to take this kind of gumption, and involve this level of risk and ruin.

    Who’s ready to distill some moonshine with me? And use the proceeds to really support ourselves and what the audience of this site could someday become?

    Easy Build Moonshine Still
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNq28DDjlA0

  4. Park pork are the worst. Busy holiday weekend, instead of trying to direct heavy traffic on poorly marked and designed fed roads, nope, they looking for booze on the beach……. Prohibition is alive and well on federal land. Want a nip when you’re on the beach, you better put your brandy in a Maalox bottle.

    • Prohibition in the United States was a nationwide constitutional ban on the production, importation, transportation, and sale of alcoholic beverages that remained in place from 1920 to 1933.

      It was a continuation of World War I. A 14 year total war against all commerce. All commerce even until this day must be inspected to make sure it is in compliance with all applicable laws and statutes.

      The license afforded Pre-code movies of the time is very similar to the only virtual freedoms we have now. For men and women already decimated by the great depression, now had to either mope around in social poverty, or risk being murdered by zealous heroes and watchful fraus, always ensuring no one was taking an illegal drink.

      Prohibition was an age for heroes like our times. Gunning down moonshiners for making and distributing beverages outlawed by Dear Leader’s Fatwas.

      Crying crocodile tears while millions of speakeasy patrons died from bad liquor. If only they would have obeyed the law, the heroes lamented. As they chucked their dead corpses in the alley to be burned or sent to the coroner to see if additional fines could be extracted from the speakeasy operators.

      Prohibition was the time when god fearing men bore witness to the biblical fatwas that all commerce not conducted with state sanction is the sinful trafficking of evil dishonorable men.

      Praise the heroes for helping the Pastors and Priest try to rid our shining beacon on the hill Holy Paradise from all those who would dare consume the distillations of the devil’s workshops.

      One nation, under a God mandated central government. Totalitarianism indivisible. With liberty and justice enforced as it was written thousands of years ago, Amen.

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