Hellcop, AGWs and Top Gun

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A long time ago, before America embraced Fear – and its corollary, Submission – there was a movie called Highway to Hell. It was about a young couple that ended up in Hell after the boy behind the wheel falls asleep and loses control of his car out in the middle of proverbial nowhere.

An AGW comes out of nowhere. It’s Hellcop – and he looks an awful lot like today’s actual cops, or rather Armed Government Workers.

The Hellcop is shaved-headed, mirrored sunglasses-wearing emissary of you-know who. But he doesn’t draw a Taser or even a pitchfork on his victims, much less Hut! Hut! Hut! them to death by the side of the road.

When  the couple’s dog attempts to defend them, Hellcop doesn’t even unholster his gun.

By today’s AGW standards, Hellcop is a softie. He does not use a Command Voice and while he cuffs and stuffs in his own interesting way, he seems almost . . . friendly vs. what real-life AGWs are like today.

He isn’t a pooltroonish bully hiding behind a flak jacket ululating about “threats” to his “safety” while cowering behind his Glock.

Take note as well that neither the boy nor his girlfriend are “buckled up for saaaaaaaaaaafety” – and Hellcop isn’t worried about it because it wasn’t illegal once upon a better time.

This was 1991, incidentally.

It’s interesting how the darkest images of the future as seen by the past have not only been realized but exceeded in ways that not even moviegoers would have bought into as plausible only 30 or so years ago.

Speaking of things along these lines. Have you seen the promo for the new Tom Cruise reboot of the iconic movie, Top Gun?

In the original Tom rode his bike without a helmet – which he was free to do because America was still relatively free back then.

The promo for the new movie features a Pravda-like studio glamor shot (that is to say a lie) of Tom once again on his bike, helmet-less, which of course is illegal now – and would trigger Hellcop/AGW Hut! Hut! Hutting!

But a helmet-wearing Tom would convey just how much less free we are 30-something years after the original – and so he is shown on the bike without one on.

Maybe Maverick ought to consider flying his F35 or whatever they’ve got him in toward a different target this time.

. . .

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  1. So let me guess: Tom Cruise reprises his iconic role as Maverick. Now he’s retired from the Navy after an illustrious career flying on a carrier in the South Pacific, then moved to a desk job in Washington, eventually making it to Commander. The plot is Kelly McGinnis’ character is recruited by Boeing ahead of him to become an executive, so he decides he needs to run for Congress in order to once again gain her attention.

    Oh, and there’s a homo-erotic montage involving Senate pages…

    • RK,


      The new Top Gun is the same as the old. Just a way to recruit more pilots.

      After a few bodies are found floating in the Chicago River, and it becomes common knowledge that Boeing knew the new MAX was unstable before first one was built, there will be a plethora recruiting movies.

      Enjoy the show.

      • Morning, T!

        I thank the motor gods I was born in time to experience commercial aviation before it became what it is now. And don’t mean just the Heimatsicherheitsdeinst. I mean 707s and DC10s and L1011s and pretty stewardesses. I can still feel the take-off roll of a 707. And that sound! You felt you were flying – not taking the bus. The stewardesses were feminine and nice; they weren’t irritable old bags (and gay guys) who nagged you to comply with their petty rules.

        So sad.

        • 707s made noise and smoke too, so even onlookers knew they were around.. 🙂

          I remember when I was little, we’d see go to Newark Airport to see my grandparents off on their trips sometimes. We could go out to the ramp; watch them board (no jetways back then); watch engine startup, which was NOISY; watch the plane taxi; watch takeoff; and we could keep the plane in sight for a few minutes, because the engines on those old 707s and DC8s smoked when they were at full throttle during takeoff and climbout. Back in those days, there were no such things as ‘noise abatement procedures, so the pilots kept the engines opened up for longer. Nowadays, you can’t even walk your loved ones to the gate, let alone go out on the ramp to watch boarding and takeoff. Yes, times have changed, and not for the better…

          As for the 707, I only flew on one once; that was back in 1980, when I left for Navy boot camp. The 707 was being phased out of mainline service back then, so I only flew on one once. We literally did the OJ mad dash through the airport and boarded at the last second; can’t do THAT anymore! Anyway, the only thing I remember is that the cabin pressurization on the 707 wasn’t as good as it was on any other aircraft I flew on since then; my ears popped a lot that day. Even in this way, the 707 gave you more of a sense of FLYING…

          • Hi Mark,

            I can remember some of this. As a child, I was lucky enough to travel by air several times – to Europe. My mother is Swiss; visited family there, etc. It was just as in that video.

            • Deine Muti stammt aus der Schweiße? Alles klar!

              Have you ever considered expatriating to Switzerland? I’ve only spent time in Zurich, but it’s beautiful and in many ways offers far more freedom and less, and smaller, government than here. You might even get special dispensation due to your parentage.

              • Hi Bill,

                Yes, I have!

                I need to get my passport updated, but I have it. Been there many times; and it is beautiful. However, it is also sehr teuer… if I liquidated alles, I could probably just barely afford a kleine hutte out in the country. But, it’s a thought. My German is ungrammatical but I can make myself understood and understand. Probably after a year I’d be fully/correctly fluent, too.

                • You absolutely would be. Immersion is great for language. But I do understand the expense thing. That’s daunting.

                  Still, I’m just a little jealous. 😉

              • Bill B: Umm … I’ve been told that Switzerland has laws regulating Everything, especially how you Must maintain your yard and house.

                No trailer houses with hounddogs and old Camaros sitting up on blocks allowed.

                • Yeah, I’ve heard and read different things. I know their political system is set up for local determination by the canton (state) rather than central authority, similar to what was intended here. For instance, immigration is literally decided by your potential neighbors. They keep their military grade weapons right at home with them (unless that’s changed in the last 30 years). But such nearly direct democracies can certainly become large HOA’s, and that would suck.

                  My only Swiss friend died, so I no longer have any direct info. 20 years ago I’d have moved there in a heartbeat.

                • No Camaro’s? I’m good. Used to have a 400 TA with 4sp but it’s gone now. Wonder how they feel about 4WD Chevy pickups? Same? What a bunch of dumbasses.

                  Weird how I’m alive but no longer have any friends….or just barely.

                  We lived pretty hard but not THAT hard. My father had prostate cancer. I’m all balled up and ready to have it too. So far, so good. Don’t know but I still pee on the ground.

                • I agree – from what ive heard Switzerland is a great place once your fortune approaches 8 figures…. but for the average person I think its just endless regulation and red tape…..

              • One big problem with that. Their car laws are beyond draconian. According to Top Gear, adding horsepower is illegal… for anything else, what I’ve heard tells me the necessary approvals often cost orders of magnitude more than the upgrade itself. Even sanctioned racing is not allowed except for rally/hillclimb and now Formula E (puke).

          • Keep in mind that good old days of flying was also the result of a different mix government regulation. The government corporate partnership that air travel has almost always been simply at that time made the controlled competition in offering the best service rather than the cheapest fares.

            Once the regulatory mix started changing in the 1970s air travel became less and less about service and more and more mass transit like. More and more well the mediocre crap we expect from government.

            • I’m aware of the CAB and how it regulated routes and prices. That said, even in this era of ‘Deregulation’, the airlines are PLENTY regulated. I worked in the business for a while, so I know. For example, every airline has what are known as its Operations Specifications, or opspecs. Where I worked, this was a 185 page document telling us how, where, and when to do maintenance; what airports we could use, and for what (regular, alternate, or refueling); a list of our aircraft; what our landing minima were. I could go on, but you get my point. This is in ADDITION to 14 CFR 121, which governs airline operations in general…

              • Mark I feel your pain. My parents lit one off the other. I spent my childhood years lying in the back seat floorboard trying to get some non-polluted air off the kick panel vents. It worked pretty well and I hated to see them go even though I was an adult when that happened, I still had to ride in cars with smokers……but not in my car, not unless you wanted to walk.

                To this day(even moreso)I’m allergic as hell to cigs and can smell one for miles, no exaggeration. I laughed my butt off when the movie of the badasses in the jungle with Arnold S. came out. He smoked a stogie, made him look more manly I guess….but the fact is, the indigenous tribes could smell him miles away.

                I was once driving back from the metroplex early one Sunday morning after having delivered a load to a lumber yard. I kept smelling cigar smoke. After about 30 miles of this I’m pissed and miffed as to what the source could be. I finally came up on a slower Olds with an old man smoking a stogie and then had hell getting around him on a two lane road that was curvy and hilly.

                Back when the PSL was 55 I used to drive along on the interstate and wonder how these people survived.

                I’ve spent my entire life going around in circles when speaking to smokers. Me being upwind was never good enough for them. They always had to keep circling so you could get your fair share.

                I finally told a good friend one day I’d appreciate it if he’d just stand on one spot since we’d been going round and round. He was clueless and said he would but wondered why. I told him every cigarette smoker feels a need to be upwind of you and I feel a need to be upwind of them. I may smell but it’s not smoke and probably not much of anything since I’ve used scent free everything for decades.

        • Yea Eric i remember all that too. Running through airports with 2 or 3 kids in tow to make the plane flight. All before 911. Now there is no fun in flying, cramped seats even for the little ones, smelly passengers from the third world, jihadi security guards, pedophiles at the TSA. Can’t remember the last time I saw anyone run through an airport. That would be enough to get you shot now.

          • You can still run for connecting flights as I have had to do. Connecting flight in Detroit. Plane lands late at one extreme end of the airport, connecting flight is at the far other end.

          • Hell, Delta at least makes you RUN for practically every connection, except when you have a six hour wait.

            Flying from Billings to Burbank, my plane left late because they were waiting for a connecting flight from Atlanta where there was bad weather. So I get in late to SLC where I had to RUN 1/4 mile all the way to scan my ticket at the desk where they were yelling my name over the PA, and then RUN 1/4 mile back down to the last flight to Burbank which was sitting practically right across from the plane that I had just got off of!

            At SLC the RJX and twin prop shuttle flights have their own terminal on the ground floor. The “gates” to check in are all up at the waiting area but the planes are accessed via a long covered sidewalk. You’re on your own to find the right door # and you better ask where the plane is going before you find your seat.

        • Morning eric. It wasn’t all fun and games in the wild west. I was on a flight of a DC 9 one day out of Lubbock. The ground winds were 70+mph and gusting. We belted up and took off. Some of us would probably have been more at home with a saddle and a pommel and spurs.

          Nobody got to get unbelted, not even the crew. We had no drinnks(and damned if I didn’t need a few). We rode that bucking pony to Denver where the landing wasn’t quite as bad as the TO. My buddy and I headed to the nearest bar beyond the airport.

          • Had one like that coming home some years ago. On short final we were bouncing all over the place and wings going 30 degrees side to side. I thought sure were going to die or abort and end up in some other town. But as soon as we got over the rimrocks* (maybe 200 yards from the threshold?) it smoothed right out and we landed smooth as could be.

            * coming in from the east, Billings is like landing on a carrier, though the runway is plenty long. The airport sits on top of massive sheer cliffs.

  2. A prime example of this was in the movie Goosebumps 2. There are several bullies picking on a kid who they then chase on their bikes. But, before they start chasing they took the time to put on their bike helmets. What? Bullies wearing helmets??

  3. Eric,

    I was under the impression that, thanks to the AMA, most states’ helmet laws have been repealed; I think only a handful of states have them now. Though I’m free to ride without one, I still put one on; I feel naked without it…

      • Legal in Tx…..if you have the required motorcycle training course certificate or “adequate” insurance as in a healthplan of some sort. The bottom line is you pay or you pay, just like everything else in Texas because under Bush, Cheney, Perry everything involved paying the state, creating another bureaucracy and paying the insurance mafia.

        I used to do electrical work on water wells. With the proper meters you can check every component to determine the cause of malfunction. Then the state got on a high…..mulcting money from everyone who wanted to do just about anything forpay and requiring INSURANCE to even get the license.

        The license for doing that electrical work includes being a driller for at least 5 years. I know drillers who’ve been drilling for decades but can’t trouble-shoot shit on the electrical end of it……”ah, you need a new pump and control”, even though a common problem is a bad capacitor, $20 dollar part and maybe not even a charge if I’m going by. Now I’d be terrified to work on a well if someone could see me doing so.

  4. Man i thought our future was going to be star wars speeders and jetson’s cars blasting at high speed through air and space with jet propulsion, something I can get behind. No… our future is self driving couches on wheels ‘fur are safe-tee’ and even slower vehicles with limp dick weaker engines making sewing machines noises.


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