2021 Hyundai Venue Rant

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Here are some preliminary thoughts about Hyundais’ new ultra-small crossover, the Venue; the full review should be available within the next few days – assuming the Diaper Freaks haven’t chased me off into the Woods!


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  1. Jack Baruth made the point – I’m paraphrasing here – that people buy these ridiculously capacious vehicles because although they normally drive back and forth to work alone in the thing, they think there’s an off chance that in two years they might need to help a friend move.

    Parents of young children – people who shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they have no backbone and are so easily manipulated by fear – seem to think they need a vehicle like this because little Kayden can’t possibly ever be without his mountain of toys and personal electronics.

    I don’t care for vehicles like this because if I need to help a friend move, or take a road trip, that’s what Hertz and U-Haul are for.

    I don’t have children because in part, I don’t want to spend two decades engaged in a running battle with the local schools and CPS because I spank my kids and taught them to fight back against bullies.

    One of my requirements is style, and you can’t get that in a CUV. Not even as an option.

  2. Coming fully loaded at the base level is more expensive, but offering a bazillion different configurations doesn’t allow an efficient manufacturing stream, especially given how the dealers’ associations continue to win the fight against allowing factory direct-to-consumer sales.

    If cars were sold like computers, we could log on to the factory site and get one with manual cranks, manual locks, a big blank spot in the dash where we could install our choice of audio systems, and have it delivered straight to home for a significant discount over current models.

    • That’s exactly the way it used to be, Kevin. Buy a new car? You go to the stealership and test-drive a representative model that they happen to have, and then if ya want to buy, you could order one with the color of your choosing, and pick from a long list of individual options, that could all be ordered individually (e.g. you could get A/C with crank windows and no radio…ya didn’t have to order a “package” of $3K worth of other crap that ya didn’t want in order to just get one thing.)

      It’s really depressing to have grown-up in such a world of class, where the average blue-collar Joe could live with more class and dignity than the rich do today, and then to have to witness this mass cookie-cutter culture for which everyone willingly indebts themselves to participate in.

  3. That IS a cute little crossdresser! Damn shame that it isn’t offered with a stick! (I think the real reason sticks are becoming so rare in vehicles is because Uncle has cornered the stick market- sticks being needed to sodomize us.)

    Love hearing/seeing the chickens!

    • It’s a fun little unit, Nunz!

      Cars like this give a window into the cars we might have… were it not for you-know-who. Something like this, but 500 pounds lighter, with a small diesel engine and a five-speed stick. Capable of 45 MPG and could pull a 3,500 lb. trailer, too.

      Without air bags, power windows and such available but optional. For about $15k, probably – and maybe less.

      PS: The new girls gave me their first egg yesterday!


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